If you haven’t heard Jason Mraz’s new song, “Love is Still The Answer,” I’d give it a listen. His opening remarks before he sings are with their weight in gold!
No matter what is going on, no matter what this problem is, what’s bothering you, what’s giving you anxiety or discouraging you… Love is the answer.
Love has unlimited potential.
Love never fails.
Love has the power of life in it.
As a coach I see so many people approach their problems with self-criticism.
They blame themselves, thinking they did something wrong, aren’t smart enough or good enough to solve their problem.
As if by being harsh with ourselves we will ‘whip ourselves into shape,’ as the saying goes.
I’ve done it too, so I understand. We decide to start a new habit, or stop an old one and we brow-beat yourself into doing it or stopping it. Here’s what I know. self-criticism doesn’t work.
Love works.
I want you to think of something that’s bothering you. Let’s start small.
Maybe you wish you had time to decorate more for the holidays. You just haven’t gotten as much done as you wanted to.
You’re irritated at your boss/coworker/spouse/family member, and you haven’t addressed the issue with them. You keep burying how you feel.
You’ve been stopping for take-out instead of cooking and you know your nutritional needs will be better met by a home cooked meal.
You haven’t gotten to the gym or your fitness class for weeks now and with the holiday’s approaching, you don’t see things improving.
Instead of telling yourself that your lazy, or unorganized, or not brave enough, or a procrastinator or fat, or… whatever nasty and critical thing you can think of… tell yourself this:
“I love you. You’re working hard and doing your best. It’s great that you can see ways to improve, but for today, let’s take it easy on ourselves. Let’s stop and breathe. Feel the love that is in us and around us. Let’s look for three things, right now, to be grateful for.”
Anything similar to that dialog will do the trick! The point is, be loving to yourself. Like the best mom in the world would do with a frustrated toddler. She wouldn’t scream at her or criticize her. She’d scoop her up and hug her.
Today, scoop yourself up and love yourself!
You’ll be surprised. Often, a solution to the problem magically appears! Even if it doesn’t, I promise you, you’re much more likely to figure it out in an attitude of love.