Do you want to ask for a raise or get a promotion? Need some advice?

It's that time of year. 

If you work for someone else, you might be planning to ask for a raise, or put your hat in the ring for a promotion. 

If you're an entrepreneur, you may want to increase your fees in 2018 or add a higher priced program. 

What do we do when we have a big "ask?"

Our emotional intelligence can be our teacher and help us find the right time, place and language for any big "ask."

Last week I blogged about emotional intelligence. Remember, your EQ accounts for 58% of performance, so you don't want to neglect using your EQ when raising prices, asking for a raise or a promotion. 

Here are some practical tips on how to leverage your EQ.  

What is Your Money Story?

What is Your Money Story?

This is a hot topic! Money is one of those forbidden subjects. You don't bring it up on a first date or at cocktail parties. We don't ask each other how much we make or how much we have saved. While I'm not suggesting we start asking those questions, I know that money tends to be a topic wrapped up in a lot of secrecy.

How Do We Identify Our Money Story?

Today we're going to talk about where your money story comes from, I'll share some of mine, and one of the big insights I've had recently as I have worked to change my money story. Money is a fabulous tool when we consciously create our money stories. Find out how to change your money story in today's video.

Get videos and other cool stuff to Live Lavishly every day right here.

Can we live in abundance when our circumstances don't reflect abundance?

Can we live in abundance if our circumstances don't reflect abundance?

Yes! Not only can we, I think we must. That's when it's imperative to cultivate the feeling of abundance. It's not a matter of waiting until our outer lives reflect abundance, then we'll feel it. That's easy. And sometimes it happens that way.

What do you do when you can't pay your bills? How do you feel abundant?

That's exactly what I'll talk about in today's Live Lavishly Manifesto 8 - I live in abundance regardless of circumstance for abundance is a state of mind.

I know because I've been there. Broke, scared and searching for the state of mind that is abundance. I found it, and so can you.

If you don't have your Live Lavishly Manifesto, grab it here.

I know you want it all!

I know you want it all! Me too! (I even recorded a video about it below)

We want great relationships, meaningful work, fun, physical health and abundance.

But, the journey to our best life can be harder than it sounds.

Along the way, we get tripped up. Limiting beliefs, thoughts about not being enough, or having enough, or being unworthy sneak in.

They can derail us in insidious ways. I’ll tell you how it happened for me as I was getting ready to go to Paris.

Insidious thoughts

One of my insidious thoughts is that I’m not worthy. Oh how I hate that one! Of course, I would never say that out-loud to myself. I mean, it’s ridiculous! As a life coach I can’t possibly say it out-loud and believe it. Of course not. That’s why it’s insidious. It sneaks in, like water in a basement, and starts rotting things out before I even realize it’s there.

But, there I was, on my flight to Paris and it hit me. I was about to embark on a five-star experience. I was going to be treated like a Queen for five days. Fabulous hotel, spa treatments, flowers in my room, a private boat trip on the Seine, a photoshoot with photographer, hair and make-up. It was a five-star trip on an emotional and professional level as well. I was going with kick-ass Master Coach, Susan Hyatt. Susan inspires me, helps me dig deep into my own shit and kicks my ass if I need it.

With all this yummy goodness, what could the problem possibly be? It started a week or so before I left, then grew while I was packing, driving to the airport, waiting for my flight…(can you see the water seeping into the basement?)

How a long flight changed me

I was dozing off after dinner and a couple glasses of wine on the plane. I felt the unworthiness in the pit of my stomach. As I lay against the window, hoping to sleep, I heard something. Like a voice in my head, but it was so clear I almost wondered if the man next to me had said something. It said, “It’s you. You’re the one.”

Just like that, I knew it. I felt it deep in my core. I am worthy. I am the one.  I am worthy of everything I desire. For the next five days in Paris, I lived from that place of knowing my worth. It was glorious.

Live Lavishly Manifesto

I created the Live Lavishly Manifesto to support all of us as we create our best life. At the heart of living lavishly is the absolute knowing that we are worthy. Because…

You are the one.

If you don’t have your Live Lavishly Manifesto, you can get it here.

Here is the video on Manifesto #1

Random Acts of Generosity

I was at Target.

It was a typical Target run: Windex, picture frames, poster board, socks, coconut water… you get the idea.

When I went to check out, I realized I didn’t have my wallet. I was a victim of online shopping from my living room that morning!

The cashier told me to take my cart to Customer Service and they would keep it until I could return with my wallet.

I went to Customer Service and waited for the woman in front of me to finish her exchange. My turn. I tell the Customer Service representative that I left my wallet at home. She is gracious and says she’ll keep my cart of goodies until I can return, when I hear, “Oh! You don’t want to have to do that. I’ll pay for it.”

I’m stunned and baffled. Behind me, a woman walks up, the one who had been making her exchange. No doubt, I am looking stupefied. She repeats herself, “It’s such a pain to have to go home and come back. I’ll pay for your items.”

I start protesting. “I don’t live that far away. You don’t have to.  It’s very sweet of you, but not necessary.” Of course the voices in my head are moving much faster than the words out of my mouth. You know how that goes. I’m thinking: “I can’t accept this. I don’t NEED financial help. I just got a promotion and a raise. I can’t accept this, I just can’t!” Meanwhile, this beautiful soul I now know as Sharon, keeps insisting.

Then I had my moment. Less than a week before I was talking to someone else, she too was not in financial need. She didn’t feel worthy of receiving because she didn’t NEED it. She wasn’t hungry or unable to pay her bills. Her husband makes good money, etc. I was talking to her about the importance of feeling worthy…yes WORTHY of receiving, in small ways and large ways.

BAM! It hit me. I have to practice what I preach. I stopped protesting and said, “Thank you!” I cried, no big surprise if you know me, I took pictures to post on Facebook, Target chipped in a 5% discount, the Target staff was pretty blown away by what was happening as well. I kept freaking out as the register total got higher and higher. I go back to protesting, “You can stop! This is costing too much. I really appreciate what you’re doing, but I don’t have to get all of this today.” The sweet and generous Sharon kept saying, “Nope. I’m all in!” She was true to her word at a total of $127.26!!

Sharon and I exchanged business cards. Later I emailed her and told her how grateful I was and what a lesson it was for me in how to receive. She wrote back and said that meeting me brightened her day. Imagine that! The encounter brightened her day! Then she shared these wise words, “I saw the chance to teach myself to stop and reach out – how many times do you see or hear something and then wish you would have acted on it or acted in a different way?  This quite simple act lifted us both and will continue to lift others…”

Wow.

That is the challenge: to stop and reach out.

One woman’s random act of generosity; it changed me. It changed her. It matters. The things we do matter.

Sharon and I want to challenge you. Will you be the next one to offer a random act of generosity? Or will you, if offered, graciously accept someone else’s random act of generosity?

Take the random act of generosity challenge and describe your experience in the comments below. I’d love to hear how giving or receiving changed you.