We’ve got everything we need.

Is that hard to believe sometimes?

It’s easy to get sucked into the vortex of self-criticism and self-doubt. Once we do, our minds are experts at showing us, or reminding us of, all the evidence to prove our negative self-talk is true. And, oh my, how skilled the mind is at this. It will even distort something just to prove itself right!

What do we do? How do we stop the cycle?

We have to interrupt the pattern. Interrupt the habit.

You see, I’ve come to realize negative self-talk and criticism are just habits. Like a habit of brushing your teeth. You do it without really thinking about it. You just do it.

In this case we want to stop doing it.

Try this: before going to sleep, take a moment to replay the day. Where did you succumb to the habit of self-criticism and negative self-talk? I like to have my journal handy so I can jot them down. Notice what triggered you into negativity. Notice how you behaved.

I use the word “notice” on purpose. Don’t use this replay to dive back into negative self-talk and criticism. Like a loving friend, simply notice what triggered you. It’s okay. We all get triggered.

Break the habit.

Now, revisit the exact same scenario. The same thing happens, but you don’t slip into negative self-talk and criticism. In fact, you imagine yourself feeling confident and able to handle whatever came up. From this frame of mind, replay the scenario and imagine yourself doing it differently. What would you say? What would you do? How would it feel?

You won’t be able to break the habit without imagining yourself without the habit. The person you will be when you aren’t criticizing yourself. Who will you be? Imagine it.

When you wake up the next day, take a few minutes to get the image of yourself without the negative self-talk and set an intention to bring the new you into your day. The more often you do this, the more you break the habit of the old self.

You’re simply practicing being the new you. It takes practice. You won’t do it perfectly, and that’s okay. It takes time to break a habit. Love yourself through the process.

Live Lavishly through self-love and practicing being the best version of yourself.