Are you ready to invest in yourself?

We invest in a lot of things in our lives. 

Our jobs or business. 

Our family.

Our relationships. 

And we don’t always get the return we were hoping to get. 

In today’s episode of Uncover and Elevate I’ll share with you the secret of guaranteed return on investment…. Investing in yourself! 

You can listen to today’s episode HERE. 

Investing in ourselves can come in big and small ways like: 

• Listening to a podcast that inspires us

• Taking a walk

• Attending my next retreat, The Elevate Your Life Retreat  

Let me know how you are going to invest in yourself this holiday season! 

Please share this episode on social and tag me! Then I’d love for you to post a 5 Start Review wherever you get your podcasts. It makes such a big difference and will help others find the show. I’ll be incredibly grateful!

Put Yourself at the Top of Your List

Growing up we were often taught that being selfless is better than being selfish. But there’s a huge difference between being selfish and taking care of yourself. Overwhelm will often kick in when we’re running around taking care of everybody else, and haven’t stopped and considered what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

Because putting the happiness and well being of others before our own wants and needs is a formula for exhaustion, overwhelm and burn-out. We cannot be our best selves living our best lives if we constantly put others before ourselves.

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some  very important question regarding today’ topic:

Why do you need to put Yourself at the Top of Your List?

How to drop the habits of people-pleasing?

How to stop prioritizing other people over yourself without being selfish?

How to Start Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Your Needs?

And much more.. Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

Do You Need a Break?

I did! And I’m taking it! 

I’m on vacation this week! I’ve chosen a lovely staycation, since I’ve recently moved to paradise, I didn’t want to leave! 

What I did want was: 

• A break from social media

• A break from my typical routine

• Extended time for relaxing by the pool, or at the beach, with a good book

• Time to dream about what’s important to me

• Time to dream about what I want my future to look like

• Time to do nothing

What about you? Even though I may not respond until next week, I’d love to know what you want? It might be some down time, it might be to start a project that is meaningful to you, it might be to soak in a long hot bath. 

What do you want? 

Does this Surprise You?

The other day my 10 year old grandson said, “Grandma B, I really like how you respect my boundaries. Not everyone does.” 

You can pick yourself up off the floor now! 

First of all, that this 10 year old boy is so emotionally intelligent that he knows what boundaries are and how to set them is a miracle and testament to his Mom and Dad. 

Second, because I grew up with a Mother who had no boundaries, and I didn’t learn what boundaries were until I was in my 30’s, that comment was a huge compliment to me! 

People Pleasers usually suck at setting boundaries and often they don’t respect other’s. Not because they aren’t willing. It’s more like they don’t understand boundaries, so they don’t know how to respect them. I’ve coached people who didn't even really know what a boundary is. 

What’s your relationship with boundaries? 

Are you able to set boundaries? 

To say, “No,” when you mean no. 

To tell someone you don’t want to hear their racist jokes. 

To speak up when someone does or says something that diminishes or dismisses you. 

Boundaries give us confidence. 

Boundaries are an act of self-care and self-love. 

Do you need help with setting boundaries? 

That’s what I’m here for. 

I’ve got a Boundaries for People Pleasers Package that’s perfect for you! You’ll get four private sessions with me, plus worksheets to support your boundary setting during our four sessions and beyond.  

You’ll learn what to say and what to do to get your boundaries in place. Once you have your boundaries identified, you need to learn how to communicate them clearly. Then you need to know what to do when they aren’t respected! After these four sessions, you’ll be the boundary Queen or King! 

Email me, brenda@brendaflorida.com and I’ll tell you more about the Boundaries for People Pleasers Package. It’s just what the doctor ordered!

Are You Ready For Your Turn?

Do you feel like you’ve given… and given… and given…

You want YOUR TURN!

Our lifestyles are different now. There’s no “normal.”

We’re home… a lot!

Your “invisible workload” has increased.

You probably know about the invisible workload. It’s all the things you do and keep track of in your head that nobody notices… unless you don’t do it, or forget something!

All women have an invisible workload. Some men do, but this is mainly a feminine issue.

You keep track of what’s in the fridge, what everyone likes, and doesn’t like, whose birthday is coming up and has a card or gift been purchased, wrapped, mailed? Is it time to buy cat food/dog food/gerbil food? Not to mention the important question of 2020… do we have toilet paper in the house!

And it’s not just the physical needs. Often, you are caring for the emotional needs of family and friends. You are helping them with their anxiety.

It’s easy to put the needs of others ahead of our own.

There’s a price to pay when you don’t take your turn.

I’ve learned the hard way, the exhausted way, that I am the only one who can call a time-out and give MYSELF A TURN! I had to wake up to my unique deliciousness.

You have a unique deliciousness about you.

You’re tired, frustrated and at your wits end because she is asking you to notice her. For you to step into her power and love.

We’ve been conditioned to be asleep, to forget about our unique deliciousness.

Most of us have been taught that our unique deliciousness is not as important as the needs and wants of others. Or that it’s selfish to focus on it. Hell, some of us were taught that we don’t even have unique deliciousness.

It’s not true!

You are a unique delicious gift to the world. The one and only.

Breathe that in.

Wake up to your unique deliciousness. She’s been calling you.  

Give yourself one hour in the next day or two.

Choose to be awake, remember and get to know your unique deliciousness. You didn’t lose her. You don’t need to find her. She’s right there, waiting.

·      Read a book

·      Take a nap

·      Go for a walk

·      Listen to something inspirational

·      Take a bath

·      Watch side-splitting YouTube videos

I can’t wait to hear what you did and how you felt with your unique deliciousness! Hit reply and tell me about it.

If it feels too impossible find your unique deliciousness or you don’t think you have it, definitely hit reply and tell me about that!  

In love, from my unique deliciousness to yours,

Brenda

P.S. I’ve got 3 spots open, right now, for one-on-one clients. Hit reply and let me know you’re interested in exploring what it would be like to work together. Your unique deliciousness has important information for you. We can tap into her together. You don’t need to figure it out alone.  

Create the Self-Love You Deserve!

Gabrielle and I were models. Along with about a dozen other fabulous women. We instantly hit it off. She’s got a magnetic personality.

Having your picture taken together in your underwear creates a special bond!

That’s how I met this week’s Cocktails and Coaching co-host, Gabrielle Garofalo. We were in a photo shoot for a book, and a movement, frankly, called, BARE. BARE was conceived by Susan Hyatt and is disrupting the diet culture. BARE teaches women how to love the bodies exactly as they are, as a strategy get to their ideal weight.

I’ve been thinking a lot about self-love lately.

It’s so hard to do yet may be the single most powerful tool we have to improve our lives.

If only we really understood the power of loving ourselves.

When I’m loving myself, I make better choices, professionally, in the food I eat, the movement by body gets, my relationships are healthier, I choose better men to date and I feel infinitely more powerful in my life. 

Gabrielle and I are excited to spend time with you Wednesday, at 5 pm Pacific/8 pm Eastern in my private FB Group, Live Lavishly: The Art of Sustainable Transformation.

It’s going to be a powerful evening. In addition to modeling with me, Gabrielle is a multi-passionate entrepreneur. She doesn't like to define herself by one role or passion rather the complicated and wonderful sum of her parts. An entrepreneur, marketing consultant, food & drink blogger, coach and mom of three she often finds herself either traveling into NYC to consult with clients or hopping on her paddle board to commune in nature while working up a sweat. You can find her on IG as Gabrielle.Garofalo and on Facebook here.

Gabrielle also teaches women the BARE(TM) process and how to channel passion to purpose at home, in career and in the mirror. I’ll have her tell us more about that on Wednesday!

We love getting questions ahead of time from you! You can ask us any question on any subject here, and join the FB Group, here, if you aren’t a member.

Can’t wait to see you Wednesday at 5 Pacific/8 Eastern for another fabulous episode of Cocktails and Coaching!

Now What?

Last Thursday I asked if you knew what you wanted.

Hopefully, you shared what you want in the comments on Thursday. If not, feel free to share it here.

Now, let’s go from dreaming to scheming!

Scheming

If you have a dream that you’ve been telling yourself isn’t possible or that you don’t have enough time, enough money or any number of other stories your mind might have come up with, then you don’t spend time scheming about how it might be possible.

The enemy of possibility is dismissal.

As soon as we dismiss a dream, desire or yearning, we’ve killed it.

Like stomping on a bug, dismissal takes what’s possible and smashes it.

I’m going to ask you to be brave enough to believe in possibilities. We can’t scheme without some tiny corner of our mind thinking it’s possible.

Ready. Set. Go!

Think of your dream as a new playmate. It’s time to get to know each other. To play. To be curious. To open yourself up.

Instead of a bug that needs squashing, this is your new best friend.

What can you do for her? What would you like to do to please her? To get to know her? How can you spend time with her?

This strategy works with dreams of all sizes. Maybe you’re overwhelmed with work or kids or aging parents or any number of things and your dream is to spend a few hours alone. It may feel impossible. It may feel selfish. It isn’t.

It’s your dream because it is important. If Coco Chanel hadn’t gotten so tired of wearing uncomfortable clothes, she wouldn’t have designed pants for women. Thank goodness she was “selfish” enough to do that!

Love yourself enough to scheme about your dreams.

Let’s go back to the dream of a few hours alone. As impossible as your thoughts may tell you it is, start scheming. Get a girlfriend to help. As they say, “where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Get a babysitter. Barter with a friend to swap kids, ask for help from a friend or family member.

Love yourself enough to take what you want seriously.

For the bigger dreams like starting a business, taking a trip to a far-off land, going back to school for a degree, writing a book or becoming an actor, its’ the same process. Get to know your dream. What does she need? What would please her? What does she like to do for fun?

Break it down. Don’t worry about doing anything yet. This is all about scheming. Brainstorm with yourself and trusted friends how you might be able to take steps toward your dream.

Love yourself enough.

We need your dreams to come true, from taking a few hours for self-care to writing that book or taking that trip. We need your dreams the way we needed Coco to get sick of her corset and design beautiful pants for women!

Enough Already!

We’ve got everything we need.

Is that hard to believe sometimes?

It’s easy to get sucked into the vortex of self-criticism and self-doubt. Once we do, our minds are experts at showing us, or reminding us of, all the evidence to prove our negative self-talk is true. And, oh my, how skilled the mind is at this. It will even distort something just to prove itself right!

What do we do? How do we stop the cycle?

We have to interrupt the pattern. Interrupt the habit.

You see, I’ve come to realize negative self-talk and criticism are just habits. Like a habit of brushing your teeth. You do it without really thinking about it. You just do it.

In this case we want to stop doing it.

Try this: before going to sleep, take a moment to replay the day. Where did you succumb to the habit of self-criticism and negative self-talk? I like to have my journal handy so I can jot them down. Notice what triggered you into negativity. Notice how you behaved.

I use the word “notice” on purpose. Don’t use this replay to dive back into negative self-talk and criticism. Like a loving friend, simply notice what triggered you. It’s okay. We all get triggered.

Break the habit.

Now, revisit the exact same scenario. The same thing happens, but you don’t slip into negative self-talk and criticism. In fact, you imagine yourself feeling confident and able to handle whatever came up. From this frame of mind, replay the scenario and imagine yourself doing it differently. What would you say? What would you do? How would it feel?

You won’t be able to break the habit without imagining yourself without the habit. The person you will be when you aren’t criticizing yourself. Who will you be? Imagine it.

When you wake up the next day, take a few minutes to get the image of yourself without the negative self-talk and set an intention to bring the new you into your day. The more often you do this, the more you break the habit of the old self.

You’re simply practicing being the new you. It takes practice. You won’t do it perfectly, and that’s okay. It takes time to break a habit. Love yourself through the process.

Live Lavishly through self-love and practicing being the best version of yourself.