Powerful Holiday Boundaries

The holiday season can be the most wonderful time of the year, a bright time for celebration and reflection, for connecting with family and friends, and for loving one another. It can also be a time of stress and overwhelm if some family members didn’t get that “good tidings” memo, or if you just need some extra TLC. Either way, in addition to those beautifully wrapped presents, your holiday will be more joyful if you remember to bring this very important thing: And that is BOUNDARIES!

Setting boundaries among family members can be doubly challenging. Boundaries are the key to protecting your mental health and guarding your wellbeing. If you struggle with asserting boundaries or just need some prompts to get you started, then this Episode is for you!

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some  very important questions regarding today’s topic:

How to set boundaries with family over the holidays?

how to leverage gratitude for your benefit

Why don't affirmations often work?

Why is gratitude working better than affirmations?

And much more…Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

The day I almost slapped someone for telling me to be grateful!

You’ve heard it.

“Find something you’re grateful for.”

“Write down three things a day you're grateful for.”

Gratitude has become the end-all, cure-all practically.

When you’re drowning in fear, overwhelm and despair… it’s a little hard to find.

I remember last fall, I was having a very bad day that was part of a very difficult couple of months.

As a coach, and living my life pretty publicly on social media, I am committed to authenticity.

Which gets tough when you’re in an extended crisis.

I want to be real and… who wants to listen to a life coach who’s depressed!?

On this particular day, I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t see any end to my challenges. And this delightful person, whom I love, said the dreaded words… “Find something to be grateful for!”

I wanted to slap her!! (We were on the phone, which saved both of us from knowing if I would have!)

She insisted. That’s the way she is.

After several minutes… I succumbed. I really just wanted to get her off the phone and go back to my despair.

And then, I felt it.

A tiny shift.

Damn it! This gratitude thing works! I had forgotten.

I thought of two or three really simple things. I think the first thing I thought of was, “I’m breathing.” Which lead me to seeing something in the room I was in that I thought was pretty. Which led me to thinking of the person I was staying with and how grateful I was to be staying with her.

And there you have it. It didn’t solve all my problems. I still had a bunch of shit hitting the fan. There still wasn’t any end in sight as far as that shit went, but…

I felt a release.

I felt a little lighter.

My mind calmed down.

And from there I decided what to do next.

I don’t really remember what I did. I might have decided to take a nap, or a shower, or watch inspirational videos on YouTube, but I did something different than drown in my fear.

Damn it. Maybe gratitude is the end-all, cure-all!

Gratitude is one of the many tools we’ll be unpacking and mastering during my four-week coaching program, From Darkness to Light. Instead of wishing hard-times would magically leave, we’re taking them head-on! We’ll stare fear in the fucking face and win.

The mantra for the program is, “There’s no power outside of you greater than the power inside of you!” For those of you in the program, you’ll leave knowing that is true!!

There are only a few spots left, so get the deets and register here.

If you know a friend who needs the tools and support that From Darkness to Light will deliver, please share this email with them so they can join us. There’s no need to navigate the darkness alone. <3

What is your experience with gratitude? If you don’t have one. Try it. Tell me what happens!

Random Acts of Generosity

I was at Target.

It was a typical Target run: Windex, picture frames, poster board, socks, coconut water… you get the idea.

When I went to check out, I realized I didn’t have my wallet. I was a victim of online shopping from my living room that morning!

The cashier told me to take my cart to Customer Service and they would keep it until I could return with my wallet.

I went to Customer Service and waited for the woman in front of me to finish her exchange. My turn. I tell the Customer Service representative that I left my wallet at home. She is gracious and says she’ll keep my cart of goodies until I can return, when I hear, “Oh! You don’t want to have to do that. I’ll pay for it.”

I’m stunned and baffled. Behind me, a woman walks up, the one who had been making her exchange. No doubt, I am looking stupefied. She repeats herself, “It’s such a pain to have to go home and come back. I’ll pay for your items.”

I start protesting. “I don’t live that far away. You don’t have to.  It’s very sweet of you, but not necessary.” Of course the voices in my head are moving much faster than the words out of my mouth. You know how that goes. I’m thinking: “I can’t accept this. I don’t NEED financial help. I just got a promotion and a raise. I can’t accept this, I just can’t!” Meanwhile, this beautiful soul I now know as Sharon, keeps insisting.

Then I had my moment. Less than a week before I was talking to someone else, she too was not in financial need. She didn’t feel worthy of receiving because she didn’t NEED it. She wasn’t hungry or unable to pay her bills. Her husband makes good money, etc. I was talking to her about the importance of feeling worthy…yes WORTHY of receiving, in small ways and large ways.

BAM! It hit me. I have to practice what I preach. I stopped protesting and said, “Thank you!” I cried, no big surprise if you know me, I took pictures to post on Facebook, Target chipped in a 5% discount, the Target staff was pretty blown away by what was happening as well. I kept freaking out as the register total got higher and higher. I go back to protesting, “You can stop! This is costing too much. I really appreciate what you’re doing, but I don’t have to get all of this today.” The sweet and generous Sharon kept saying, “Nope. I’m all in!” She was true to her word at a total of $127.26!!

Sharon and I exchanged business cards. Later I emailed her and told her how grateful I was and what a lesson it was for me in how to receive. She wrote back and said that meeting me brightened her day. Imagine that! The encounter brightened her day! Then she shared these wise words, “I saw the chance to teach myself to stop and reach out – how many times do you see or hear something and then wish you would have acted on it or acted in a different way?  This quite simple act lifted us both and will continue to lift others…”

Wow.

That is the challenge: to stop and reach out.

One woman’s random act of generosity; it changed me. It changed her. It matters. The things we do matter.

Sharon and I want to challenge you. Will you be the next one to offer a random act of generosity? Or will you, if offered, graciously accept someone else’s random act of generosity?

Take the random act of generosity challenge and describe your experience in the comments below. I’d love to hear how giving or receiving changed you.