On the Road to Enlightenment... I'll Take a Martini!

The road to enlightenment isn’t for the faint of heart. 

And, we’re all on the road. Unless we’ve decided to never grow. Never learn. Never change. 

You may not think about yourself as being on the road to enlightenment, but I bet you want to grow. You don’t want to be exactly the same next year, as you are today. So.. You’re on the road.

Me, I’m going to take a martini with me! As 100% committed to enlightenment as I am, I love pleasure. I love being irreverent. I love saying “Fuck!” as a fun exclamation point! I love having sex, drinking wine, having a glass of Champagne and having a martini (although, in truth, I’ll more likely have a cosmopolitan, which isn’t exactly a martini, but it’s close!)

I don’t think all that is counter to enlightenment, it’s just now how we typically imagine enlightenment. We typically imagine it as quiet, proper, probably a vegetarian and celibate or at least not openly enthusiastic about steak and sex, like I am!  

I’m here to break the mold of what it looks like to pursue enlightenment. All of us, in every shape, style and personality type is pursuing enlightenment in our own way. 

I started Cocktails and Coachingbecause of this seeming dichotomy. Accessing our inner wisdom, seeking truth, seeking to know ourselves and the Divine on a deeper level and… having a cocktail in the process! 

Join me Wednesday, August 14that 5 pm Pacific/8 Eastern, and my super-unconventional co-host, Kai Shanti. Kai has many amazing gifts and a colorful background (think, “married to a rock-star’ colorful.) Kai has an amazing YouTube channelyou can go to and hear her amazing wisdom. She channels higher consciousness and she shares my passion for discussing sex, sexuality and personal power within our sexuality. It’s going to be a powerful gathering! 

Ask your question, on any topic, right here. We gather in my private Facebook Group, Live Lavishly: The Art of Sustainable Transformation. If you aren’t a member, click here to join.

See you Wednesday as we pursue our enlightenment along with a glass of wine, martini, Kombucha, tea or whatever suits your beautiful, authentic self! 

What’s the one thing you would change?

We all have something.

It’s the thing we would change in our lives. You might have more than one. I do.

But, we feel like we can’t.

Hear me. Now. You can. You can.

The most unbelievably difficult things get done every day.

Think of all the people that inspire you.

They overcame huge obstacles. That’s why you are inspired by them.

Those people are no different than you are.

All you need is some support.

Some instruction.

Some coaching.

You need to know how to stop thinking and feeling the things that trap you in a limited cluster-fuck of disappointment.

You need tools and strategies to actually think and feel differently. Yes, it’s possible. I do it all the time in my own life.

When you think and feel differently, you find resources and solutions that you never saw before.

You find the way to create your successful business, relationship or career.

You can find a way to love your body. Really. Without losing weight.

You can turn on your sexual energy for pleasure and added creativity.

 So, tell me… What do you want to change?

Tell me what it is. There’s help. If I can’t help you, I bet I know someone who does.  

Do it now. Email me. Lay it on me. It’s changeable. It’s possible.

Your body is not an apology

Regardless

• of size. 
• of the color of your skin.
• of your height. 
• of the color of your hair. 
• of your sexual orientation.
• of your gender identity (if you even want to have one.)
• of whether someone has abused that beautiful body. 

You are beautiful.

You are lavish. 

You are a unique expression of the Divine. 

I recently read the fabulous book, The Body is Not an Apology, by Sonja Renee Tayler.  I highly recommend it. She's a serious badass and she's serious about radical self-love. 

Tonight, I have over 100 women who have registered to join me for the Masterclass, Be the Sex Queen of Your Life. 

I'm serious about empowering women sexually. 

When we feel empowered sexually, regardless of all the things listed above, regardless of being single or in a relationship, we experience radical transformation. It improves our health. Reduces stress. Makes us more productive and creative. 

Seriously, aren't the benefits worth it? Our sex lives often get set to the side as 'not that important.'  

I'm here to tell you, your health, creativity, productivity and stress levels are worthy of your attention. 

Join me tonight for Masterclass, Be the Sex Queen of your Life at 7 pm Eastern, 4 pm Pacific. Register to get the link to join us and the workbook. 

If you are interested in exploring what it would be like to work with me one-on-one about your sex life, let's schedule a 10 minute call to see if, and how, I can help you. I'll be honest, I've lived the spectrum from being sexually abused as a child, never having an orgasm in my marriage, being shut down sexually, shut-off from my body and thinking I was frigid; to learning how to connect to, and love my body, and how to love sex! I can relate to where you are in your journey. I'd love to work together! You can email me at Brenda@BrendaFlorida.com. Just put 10 min call in the subject line. I'll know what you mean. :) You deserve to be the Sex Queen of your life! 

How an ass selfie changed my life

Have you ever taken an ass selfie? It’s not easy. Thankfully, I had a teacher. The incomparable and unapologetically authentic Lux Atl (pole dancer, PhD, feminist) has one on YouTube. You can check it out here. Don’t try an ass selfie without it!

One weekend last winter I had my girlfriends over, for what we call, Goddess Weekend, and I suggested we try to do ass selfies. It was great fun. Trust me, even with the tutorial, it takes some effort!

That photo has been sitting in my phone for six months.

Why does any of this matter? 

I was sexually abused as a little girl. I’ve had a very difficult history with my body. I’ve hated it, cut myself off from it, scorned it, criticized it and even been ashamed of it.

It’s quite liberating to go from body-shame and disconnect, to loving and appreciating my body enough to take a photo of my backside.

But that wasn’t enough. (I’m me after all.)

Recently, in my private FB Group, Live Lavishly: Turning up Your Power From the Boardroom To the Bedroom, (if you are a woman and are interested in joining us, click here, answer the two questions, and we’ll get you approved to join) I posted that ass selfie. Two actually.

Most of the women were supportive, inspired even, that I was comfortable enough with my body to do it. For what it’s worth, I have on underwear in the selfie, so it’s really no different than if you saw my backside at the pool in a two-piece bathing suit. Not exactly pornography. Not particularly daring, really. Maybe a little sexy.

A few women did not like it at all! They left the group because of it. I’m fine with that. I don’t need anyone to approve of my ass selfie. And if all of this bothers you and you want to unsubscribe or unfriend me on FB, please do so. It’s okay. Here’s why…

I want to be the author of my life. I want to be unapologetically authentic. Might I offend someone? Yes. Might I inspire someone? Yes. As far as my body goes, is it perfect? No. Do I look like a Victoria’s Secret model? Definitely not. Is my body beautiful? Yes. And that’s not just my opinion.

Here’s what happened last week.

I got tagged in a FB post for an open casting call for models to appear in a soon-to-be-published book called BARE. The author, Susan Hyatt, has been my coach, teacher, mentor and source of inspiration. I also have a girl-crush on the photographer for this photo shoot, Chelsea Sanders of Blueline. I figured, what the hell, I’ve posted an ass selfie in my FB Group, why not apply for this casting call. I had to submit five photos, at least one had to be in a bra and panties, because that’s what we’ll wear in the photo shoot. I applied.

I was chosen! I am one of 11 women selected to be featured in the book, BARE. I’ll be driving 11 hours to get to Indiana on Wednesday, then be “on set” from 9 – 5 Thursday, then drive 11 hours home on Friday. I can’t wait!

My life has changed.

When we love our bodies, take pleasure in our bodies, express ourselves through our bodies, in ways that feel good to us, when we write our own life story, when we chose to live unapologetically authentically, we are changed.

You don’t have to take an ass selfie. You do you. That’s the point. I have no interest in everyone being like me. I posted an ass selfie to inspire the women in my group to love their body. To not be afraid of their body. To not be ashamed of their body. That’s what felt right for me.

What will you do today to be unapologetically authentic?

Brenda

P.S. If you’re interested in working with me one-on-one, email me and we’ll schedule a quick, 10-minute call to see if working together is going to be transformational and magical for you. 🙂