The Blog
Are you ready to get unstuck?
We all get stuck.
It happens when we hit a plateau, face a new challenge, or simply feel stagnant. The key to moving forward is in changing our thoughts, feelings and the action we are taking. It all starts with our thoughts. Feeling and aligned action will follow.
It sounds easy, but in truth… it’s not.
I was homeless for two and a half years. That was a challenging time!
It’s really hard to navigate challenging times! If you’re in one, you know!
A Tic Tok video or Instagram Reel on mindset or abundance isn’t enough!
In today's episode of Uncover and Elevate I’m giving you my top three tools for navigating challenging times! You can use them for mini challenges or enormous ones!
I’ll also share my biggest “failure” in navigating my own challenge with finances and homelessness.
Listen to today’s episode HERE.
Please share this episode on social and tag me! Especially if you’re sharing it with someone going through a challenge! We all need support and to know we are not alone!
Ahhh, Summer. Do you imagine lazy nights in the backyard watching the fireflies and sipping a glass of wine?
Or maybe you're imagining yourself in you chair on a beach, hiking in the mountains or any other activity that relaxes your body, mind and soul!
And then reality hits.
The kids have a million things they need to be taken to.
Something happens at work that requires added time and energy.
Your romantic relationship blows up.
Your mom falls and can’t get up so you end up caring for her or making all the arrangements for her to be cared for.
Life happens.
It’s easy to let it rob us of time, money and even the energy to invest in our own self-care.
What do you do?
I know we can’t ignore life.
Yet, when something is a priority, it seems to get done and everything else falls into place, or doesn’t happen and it ends up being okay.
You know how it is right before you leave on vacation? Things get extra busy those last few days, yet, you get packed and get on the airplane or load the car and leave for the road trip! Because you prioritized it!
I’m curious? What’s the hardest part of self-care to prioritize when life throws a ton of stuff at you? Is it your sleep? Movement? How you eat/drink? Maybe you cancel your massage, acupuncture and coaching appointments. Hit reply and share it with me!
There’s no need to judge or criticize yourself. Simply notice how you stopped prioritizing your own self-care and make adjustments. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself, no matter what! You aren’t going for perfection. Every moment and every bit of energy you devote to yourself will pay off 10-fold!
You have an inner-child who would love to tell you a thing or two!
We all have an inner-child who wants our love and attention.
Your inner-child is taking over the controls of your life in more ways than you probably know. They are crying, throwing temper tantrums and hiding in the corner - and that causes you to react in situations differently than you would if you knew your inner-child had just taken over.
The easiest way to access your inner-child and find out what they need and what they are feeling is to write to them. Even if you aren’t a “writer” or don’t have a journaling practice, you can do this.
Create a relaxing and safe space for yourself. Give yourself about 30 minutes if possible, more time might be even better, but it’s fine to start small. Even 5 or 10 minutes will do. If you have a picture of yourself as a little kid to look at, that can help.
Next, start a conversation with your inner-child. Ask them what they want or need? What they like and don’t like.What they think is fun and even what scares them. Start to create a relationship with your inner-child just like you would any other child.
Which means you don’t rush them. You're nice. Welcoming. You’re not pressing them for answers or being impatient. You’re saying, I love you. I’m here. I want to get to know you.
Then you wait.
You wait to hear what that inner-child has to say. And you listen. You don’t judge, dismiss or minimize what that inner-child says to you. You listen with compassion and love!
Are you ready?
I would love to hear about what you discover. And if it’s not something you want to do by yourself, let me know. I do inner-child work all the time with clients. I can help.
Book a FREE 15 minute Connection Call and we’ll explore what you need and if I’m the right coach to help you get there. You don’t have to do it alone. Book your call HERE.
I want to share an intimate story with you today.
It’s the beginning of a new year and I’m wondering, how worthy do you feel?
If you follow my podcast, Uncover and Elevate you know that Sunday I released a new episode on the same topic.
Worthiness is the basis for so many things in our lives.
Whether we feel worthy or not, changes everything.
Today I’m sharing a very intimate story via video. So please click HERE to watch it.
When you know my story you know that I can help you in your journey to feeling truly worthy of everything you desire!
Book a 15 - Minute Connection Call with me today and let’s explore working together! Book your call HERE.
Because… you are worthy!
How worthy do you feel as we begin a new year?
I’m going to share a very intimate story today in Uncover and Elevate.
It’s the story of how I realized that unworthiness was hiding deep inside of me.
Listen to today’s episode HERE.
Today you’ll learn:
How unworthiness can become embedded in us
How to begin the healing process to knowing your worth
About a special invitation from me
We are all worthy. Worthiness is our birthright and yet, worthiness can feel illusive.
Let’s make 2023 the year of feeling worthy!
Please share this episode on social and tag me! Then I’d love for you to post a 5 Start Review wherever you get your podcasts. It makes such a big difference and will help others find the show. I’ll be incredibly grateful!
The gift giving season isn’t over!
I’ve got 3 gifts for you!
My first gift is two free coaching sessions when you register for my luxury retreat, Elevate Your Life. This retreat will be the gift you give yourself if you’re interested in sharing sacred space in a gorgeous location and want to:
Change patterns in your relationships
Discover who you are beyond the roles you play
Learn how to stop self-sabotaging
Explore what your next chapter could be
Eliminate the pattern of People Pleasing
Trade self-judgment for self-love and clarity
Let go of feeling "not good enough"
Put an end to burn-out and over-functioning
Get all the deets and grab your gift by December 31st, HERE.
My second and third gifts are huge discounts on my fav digital program, The Solve it Method™. This program is all about thriving in every area of life! You’ll:
Unlock practical tools that will take you out of survival and into thriving
Leave behind self-doubt.
Say no when you need to
Prioritize what you want and need
Feel excited and delighted
Get some rest
Look forward to new possibilities
At the VIP level you can even add private coaching at a huge discount! That way you’ll have my undivided attention to help you apply the framework you learn in The Solve It Method™ making it all the more valuable.
Get your discounts and the deets HERE. Special pricing ends December 31st.
Say yes to these gifts.
Say yes to yourself as we end one year and begin another.
It’s “Back to School” time and in many US states and places around the world, kids are going back to school the old fashioned way… face-to-face.
Whew! Moms out there everywhere (and Dads)… you made it! (Assuming everyone stays healthy and restrictions don’t tighten sending the kiddos back home!)
Whether you have any kids in school or not, let’s face it, the last year or so has been a dooooooosy!
I wonder, are you feeling exhausted by it all or empowered? Just because we’re empowered doesn’t mean we don’t get tired, so when I say “exhausted” I mean it in that, totally spent, hanging-on-by-a thread way.
I know a lot of folks that feel that way. I feel it at times. It’s like I hit a wall and I can’t do any more. Or I have the thought, “I just can’t take one more thing!”
A client said that to me this week, “I just can’t take another disappointment!”
If you can relate, I’m here for you in this.
Here’s the deal. You can take one more thing. One more disappointment. One more set-back. I hope you don’t have one, but I promise, there’s an empowered you that can take it and take it all.
When we feel like that empowered version of ourself has vacated the premises, what do we do?
You respond to yourself in love, not self-criticism or blaming others. There’s NO power in blame, so while it is empowering to hold someone accountable - I’m a big fan of that! - blame is an entirely different dynamic. It feels good for a minute, because we can tell ourselves it’s not our fault. But because we have no power over anyone but ourselves, it leaves us feeling like a victim.
You get the support you need. You might need to explore hiring me as your coach. This is what I do with clients. I get them out of being exhausted and into being empowered. My client who felt she couldn’t handle one more disappointment - by the end of the session she had her plan and was ready to work the plan. What was the plan? It was her personalized solution to replacing her fear with her empowered thoughts and feelings that KNOW she can handle whatever comes at her. That’s a victory! Or, you may need a housekeeper to take some of the load off you, a personal assistant to run errands, etc.
You double-down on self-care. The worse things are, the more you need to allow yourself to rest, eat foods that nourish you (instead of numb you,) move your body in ways that feel good, fill your mind with inspiring podcasts (Liberate Your People Pleaser is a good one! 😉) Youtube videos, books, whatever it takes so that your possibilities feel bigger than your problems.
It will feel counterintuitive to dive into self-care when you feel exhausted, you think you need to do more, catch up, you rationalize, you’ll rest later. You will tell yourself you don’t possibly have time to start coaching with me, even if you know it’s a good idea. You think, now’s not the right time. But here’s the deal….
After spending 2.5 years of everything I wanted going down the drain, losing everything, unbelievable amounts of stress with no relief in sight, I PROMISE you, I know what I’m talking about. I learned the hard way how to do numbers 1, 2, and 3 above.
I’d love to know where you’re at in the exhaustion to empowered equation and I’m curious, which of the three strategies above is the most difficult for you?
It is your birthright to live in authentic power and self-expression.
All the habits of people pleasing take us away from that birthright.
People pleasing keeps us overly focused on others and what they want and need, at our own expense. There’s nothing authentic about that.
There was a time when I had no idea how to live any differently.
Even when I began to see how pleasing others at my own expense was hurting me, I didn’t know how to stop. It was the only way I knew how to live.
It felt selfish to even think of prioritizing my own wants and needs. That’s not what “good” wives, mothers or friends did.
Over time, I learned what I coach others to do.
I learned how to put myself first and in doing so, I became more generous. Less selfish. More clear on who I was and what I wanted. More of who I was meant to be. More. More.
You can have more too. It’s your birthright.
I am opening my calendar right now to a handful of people who are ready to invest in themselves and say “yes” to their birthright of authenticity and freedom!
Are you one of them?
In my “It’s Your Turn” Package you get 9 private sessions over 90-days, plus Voxer (a voice messaging service) support, so anytime you need a pep-talk or get stuck, I’ll be there to coach you forward. The investment is only $1,497 for the single payment discount. A fraction of what a life lived in authentic expression and power is worth. There are payment plans if that works better for you, because, “It’s Your Turn.” It’s time to say HELL YES! to yourself!
Just complete this simple form: then I’ll reach out to you and we’ll decide if I’m the right coach and if now is the right time.
Claim your birthright.
Do you ever think about what your life could be like in 90 days?
Most of us don’t. We keep going, day after day. Months go by. Years go by.
One day, we’re struck by the thought, “how did I get here?” Or, “how did so much time pass?”
I am going to invite you to be intentional about the next 90 days. In 90 days we’ll be entering the holiday season with Thanksgiving right around the corner.
What would you like to do now so that when November rolls around you’re thinking, “Wow! I didn’t know I could feel this much freedom and empowerment!” As one of my clients said to me recently, “I didn’t know how much every area of my life would improve once I started setting boundaries!”
For her empowerment and freedom came through setting boundaries. For you, it might be something different… or you might also need the liberation setting boundaries provides.
Whatever it is, we can begin the process now. That way in November you’ll be entering the holiday season as your “new self.”
You deserve to experience the most liberated, empowered, confident, grounded, abundant and generous version of yourself. To see how much better everything in your life can be.
This is my invitation to work with me over the next 90 days. I created a one-on-one coaching package called, It’s Your Turn. Because, damn it, it is!!
All you need to do is complete this brief form, https://brendaflorida.typeform.com/to/jcuQt1LR
I’ll reach out to you after that we’ll decide if I am the right coach for you and if now is the right time.
Space is limited so choose to invest in yourself now. It’s Your Turn.
Would you like the cure for anxiety? That’s not a trick question.
I’ve noticed this pattern with clients and I’ve experienced it myself.
Anxiety typically arises because we are avoiding something else.
Let me give you an example.
I was coaching a client who wanted relief from her anxiety. As I began to inquire about some things in her life, that initially seemed unrelated to the anxiety, I noticed she had some unexpressed anger at her husband. When I asked her about it, her response was, “it was a stupid thing for me to get mad about. He didn’t mean it.”
How many times have you said that to yourself? “They didn’t mean it. I was stupid to get mad.”
Then, low and behold, anxiety begins to emerge. Quite possibly over something unrelated.
Our emotions are energy in motion. They will go somewhere.
If we don’t acknowledge them, accept them and feel them, they will morph into anxiety.
My cure for anxiety is to allow yourself to feel your feelings. When they happen. And, when it will serve you, share them. It’s important to express our truth.
Sure, it’s easier said than done. Most important things are. That’s why people hire me to coach them through it. You don’t have to do it alone.
I had someone ask the other day how to work with me. It’s easy really. You book a 15-Minute Discovery Call and we chat about what you want to work on. Anxiety. Impostor Syndrome. People Pleasing. Career Issues. Relationship Challenges. Taking a Big Leap. Whatever it is, we’ll find out if I am the right coach for you. There’s no obligation. At the end of the call we’ll decide what the next steps are. Easy peasy. Use this link to book your Discovery Call and we’ll figure it out together. https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11249251&appointmentType=8395116
I’ve got a podcast coming your way on Sunday!
I’m so excited to deliver a weekly video podcast that will help you Liberate Your People Pleaser!
And yes, that’s the name! Liberate Your People Pleaser! I’ll send you the link to “Episode 1: You Don’t Need Fixing” on Sunday. I’ll post it on social media, it will be on podcast services like Spotify… I’m making a big splash!!
Until then, here’s my million dollar question… what would change your life in a dramatic way?
No, not winning the lottery. Something more precious than money.
Something that would allow you to let go of something that diminishes you or makes you feel trapped?
Something that triggers self-criticism and doubt?
Something that makes you feel like you aren’t good enough in some way.
We all have them. What’s the question or situation that would liberate you, if you had a solution or answer to it?
Private Message me or tell me about it in the comments. I’ll feature it on a future podcast. And, not to worry, your identity will be kept private. Your question is safe with me.
How do we stand in our truth and power when we’re scared?
How do we experience empowerment when life feels overwhelming?
How do we create an unshakable, indestructible empowerment?
It’s one thing to show up confidently, to feel empowered, when you’ve just gotten a promotion, or your business venture is going better than expected.
How do we do it when we get fired or our business “fails?”
If we can’t find our empowerment when our circumstances suck, is it really empowerment?
I love the expression, empowered inside-out.
That’s what I am cultivating and what I’m helping clients cultivate.
We feel empowered, we take action that is empowered and we trust in the outcome because of what we are doing on the inside, not because of something one the outside.
It takes a certain dismantling of imprinted beliefs about who we are and what we are capable of.
I’ll give you three quick but powerful ways to begin. Don’t dismiss them because they seem too “small.” Small things can be very powerful.
Name what scares you. If you’re invested in what other people think about you, you are overly focused on financial and professional security, or you stay in relationships long after they’ve stopped serving you, then those things have your power. Naming them is the beginning of releasing their power.
Ask yourself, “if I wasn’t concerned about what others thought or wasn’t worried about money, being alone (whatever fear you’ve named) what would I do differently?
Notice how you feel and what comes up. Very often a client will pause and exclaim, “Oh! I would…..” and say what they would do. When you feel that, there is a certain feeling quality about it. It’s clear. It feels like truth. That is the feeling of being empowered inside-out. That’s what you want to cultivate!
I’d love to hear about your own example of using these three steps and tell me, did you feel it? Did you feel empowered? If not, there’s no shame in that. You’ve been deeply conditioned to give other people and situations your power. We all have. Share it with me and I’ll do my best to help you break through the block. <3
I think it is!
The decadence of knowing who we are.
The decadence of knowing how we can best serve the world.
The decadence of unapologetic self expression.
Does it seem like a pipe-dream to you?
What is your relationship with decadence like? Troubled? Thriving? You’re strangers who have never met? You met and were too scared to see what it had to offer?
It’s a topic we’ve been exploring in my private FB Group, Liberate Your People Pleaser this week. I’ve done several FB Lives. Check them out and join, if you aren’t a member, HERE.
Tell me about it in the comments below or email me at brenda@brendaflorida.com
It’s a topic I’ll be teaching on in my new virtual workshop, Own Your Brilliance. (More to come on that in the coming weeks.)
I can’t wait to hear about you and decadence!
This has been the year of doing things differently.
Everyone has changed their lifestyle to adapt to a covid world.
There are more unknowns than ever.
We used to plan events, parties, celebrations and gatherings.
We used to go to concerts, the Theater, get on trains and planes when we wanted to.
We’re all wondering, “when will things get back to “normal,” or something remotely close.
With all that uncertainty and change in the way we live, every single day, I bet you’ve done some pretty awesome shit!
I bet you’ve surprised yourself.
I’ve seen it on Facebook and Instagram.
You’ve gotten creative with your kids - even when it comes to having to homeschool them! Now that’s something!
You’ve gotten creative with how you run your business or do your job - probably from home, even if you’ve never done that before.
You’ve gotten creative in relationships. How do I get along with my partner or spouse when suddenly we’re both home, working and dealing with the kids, 24/7, with no escape like going out to dinner or taking a spa day or weekend away?
You’ve gotten creative with friendships and extended family to figure out how to stay connected when we can’t get together physically.
You’ve improvised and innovated in dozens of ways.
Perpetual, creative response.
It’s a super-power skill in the unknown.
And let’s face it, there is no sign that living in the unknown is ending anytime soon, so let’s get even better at it.
Let’s keep surprising ourselves with what we’re capable of!
In August I’m going to give you two opportunities to uplevel your perpetual, creative response skills.
I’ll be having a fun, free, five-day Facebook Challenge. I’ll email you a morning pep-talk with a fun, fast assignment for the day. When you post your assignment in the FB Group you’ll qualify for a fun prize! Each day will inspire and motivate you to creatively respond to the unknown.
I’ll be leading a virtual workshop, Own Your Brilliance. Because you know, you are… brilliant. Whether you see it or not. We all have our own secret-sauce of magic and brilliance. The Own Your Brilliance Workshop will teach you how to intentionally cultivate and curate the Brilliance that is already inside you. You don’t need to fix anything or change anything. You just need some badass tools to uncover and use it.
More to come on these two events for August including getting signed up so you get all the goodies!
For now, tell me, what’s at least one way you’ve surprised yourself lately? Don’t be afraid to say it. It’s not bragging. It’s telling the truth about yourself. There’s nothing more inspiring and powerful.
How about you?
And no, this isn’t a political blog. Although political freedom is important.
I want to talk about a deeply personal freedom that no person or circumstance can take from you.
That is True Freedom!
The interesting this is that you already have it, whether you feel like you do or not.
You see, Freedom is an inside job.
Could you feel free if you lost your job, your car was repossessed or you were homeless?
Even if we don’t mean to, we often associate freedom with our circumstances.
Do I have the financial stability and abundance to feel free?
Can I go places when I want to? Talk to the people I want to? Marry the person I want to? Decide whether or not to get married or have a family?
What we know is that when we have the freedom that money, time, opportunity and healthy relationships allow for; we feel great! That’s cool. I’m all for it.
Almost all of us have a little “People Pleaser” in us. Some of us have a lot!
When I believe my freedom requires me to have certain circumstances in my life, I will give my power away because I don’t want to risk losing it. My People Pleaser takes over and my authentic, truth will get hijacked. And there’s no freedom in that.
For instance, if I feel like freedom requires me to make a certain amount of money, then I’ll probably do things to please my boss or overly accommodate someone to get their approval, or have poor boundaries in my business, because deep down, I’m afraid of “making waves” or “causing trouble.” After all, what if I got fired or my business started to fail? I’ll lose my financial freedom.
This happens big-time in romantic relationships and families. We start being overly accommodating and doing more than our share of the work, at home or in the relationship, in order to “keep the peace” or create “harmony.” After all, you don’t want to lose the relationship, that doesn’t feel like freedom!
The mind has a great reason why it’s always your turn to “go the extra mile” or “step-up to the plate” in order to keep you thinking that your freedom is secure.
But, you my dear, are paying the price.
When you manage your relationships, job, finances and everything else, through your Loving Inner Authority, you won’t give those people or organizations the power to hijack your personal sense of freedom.
When you are empowered, from the inside out, there isn’t a person or circumstance that can rob you of your freedom.
And that’s the best freedom of all because it’s authentic. Sure, you may not go on a shopping spree because your finances have tightened up a bit because you left a job or relationship that was toxic, but the personal freedom of taking a stand for yourself will feel 100 times more liberating than that shopping spree would have.
You see, freedom is really a feeling. We can give ourselves the power to feel it or give that power to others.
The kind of freedom that can never be taken from you.
If you’re curious about working with me, I’ve got three openings in my calendar for one-on-one clients. Let’s hop on a 15-minute call and see if it’s right for you. Schedule your call here. I can’t wait to chat with you.
