Has Your Light Been Dimmed? 🕯

We’ve all experienced a situation or relationship that dims our light, or knocks the wind out of our sails. 

That’s a clear sign, we’ve lost our power. 

Today, I’ll unpack another lesson I learned during the difficult time of being incredibly broke and Googling homeless shelters a few years ago. 

One of the most profound lessons I learned was that authentic power and possibility are intrinsically linked. When we can access our authentic power, even when our circumstances don’t change, we start finding possibilities. 

I’ve included a really powerful story with one of my coaching clients. I don’t want to spoil the ending so…. 

Listen to the episode HERE.

Tired of Discipline and Hard Work?

What if you could ditch self-discipline?

What if, buckling down and muscling through isn’t the way?

What if brow-beating yourself isn’t really working?

I know. It’s what we’ve been taught.

“Pull yourself up by your boot-straps.”

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

If we’ve learned anything in 2020, it’s that what used to work, doesn’t work anymore.

We need a new way.

I’ve got the answer. It’s a question actually. A powerful one.

I ask my clients this question when they are exhausted.  

I ask clients when they get stuck with:

·      Ending the cycle of being a “People Pleaser”

·      The business they want to start – or grow.

·      The job they want to leave.

·      The body they want to “improve.”

·      Starting a new relationship that they want to be different than the last one.

“What would love do?”

It seems silly. Like it won’t work.

But let me ask you this? When you have a child or pet who you are teaching a new skill to, or wanting them to do something in a new way, how do you do it? (As the ideal parent or pet-owner that you are most of the time.) J

You lovingly lead them. You show them the way. You speak in a loving voice. You cheer them on for the tiniest accomplishment or improvement. You applaud! You give them treats. You brag about them to friends and family.

You don’t yell at them. Tell them losing three pounds is not nearly enough! That they aren’t trying hard enough. They need to put their head down and work harder! Stop complaining! Then throw in a bunch of punishments and penalties every time they fall after their first few steps or pick a cookie instead of broccoli. You would never do that to your child or pet, or anyone else you love.

But we do it to ourselves, all the time.   

“What would love do?”

We have this idea that the answer will lead to over-indulging, staying on the couch instead of going to work, never getting any exercise, always choosing the cookie over broccoli.

But would it?

The question in NOT, “what would your inner-rebellious teenager do?”

Love wants the best for you. Love says, yes, to things that are loving. Love can say no.

Love wants you to have the life of your dreams.

Love wants you to leave the job or relationship that is not serving you anymore.

Choosing love isn’t always the easiest path.

It’s just the only path that is sustainable.

My calendar is opening for four one-on-one clients right now – one is for you. If you want to learn how to turn self-criticism and self-discipline into self-love, let’s work together. The first step is a free 15-Minute Discovery Call to be sure now is the right time. You’ve got nothing to lose and a lot of love to gain. Book your call here.

Is There Still a Chance for Possibility Over Fear?

There's no time like the present to embrace Possibility over Fear.

But possibility doesn't include denial. Not in any area of our lives.

Denial does not deliver us to transformation.

Truth delivers us to transformation.

The truth is too many black men and women have been killed, abused and harassed because of their skin color.

I'm sorry that property is being destroyed.

But I'm more sorry for all the black men and women who have experienced countless acts of violence because of the color of their skin.

A friend of mine took her daughter out for a walk and to take some photos of her beautiful girl. She went to a common area IN HER NEIGHBORHOOD and because she is black, a neighbor called the homeowners association to report a "suspicious person" in their neighborhood. She fuckIng lives there! I can't begin to understand the outrage she is feeling!  

I'm all about Love. I'm all about possibility. I'm all about focusing on the change I want to be and see in the world, rather than all the violence and injustice that I DON'T want. 

But I DON'T want to be the person preaching LOVE AND LIGHT, while Hitler hauls off my Jewish neighbors. 

We have all been conditioned to believe that black people are less valuable. Even if, like me, intellectually, you reject that belief, here's why it's not that simple. 

For those in the US, we've been born into a country that is founded on the right of white people (mostly men) to steal, enslave and kill to get what they want.

It began with taking the land, and all within it, of the beautiful indigenous people that were here before our European forefathers. Our forefathers created their "new world" at the expense of others. Because they believed their right to create that new world was superior to the rights of those who already lived and raised families in this world.

What's happening today is uncomfortable and destructive, that's a shame. But it's more of a shame to harass, judge, incarcerate and kill people because of their skin color. 

I believe in the Possibility of equality.

Equality is practiced by individuals. We practice it - or don't - daily. 

I'm living in the Possibility that one-by-one we'll stop the subtle and not-so-subtle forms of racism that strip equality away. That we'll use our inner power to correct our own biases and spread our LOVE AND LIGHT EQUALLY. I'm committed to it. I'm not doing it perfectly. But I can't be silent. So I'm risking saying something "wrong." Inadvertently waving my white privilege flag when I didn't even mean to.

Because the unraveling of centuries of racism doesn't happen overnight. But it can happen. And I have to be part of the unraveling. There's no "Opt-out button for this one. That's the possibility I believe in. If you're with me, tell me. ✊💜

If you want an amazing book, that's even an easy read, get Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America.

If you're not with me, I won't engage in "converting you" or arguing with you. That's not my mission in the world.

But being silent so I don't "upset anyone" doesn't feel like an option either.

My mission is empowering people, from the inside out. Because it is the loving inner-authority we each have that is pure, powerful and loving. To be free we must learn how to unravel the distortions and conditioning of our culture, upbringing and life circumstances. When we do, we experience the unstoppable power of our truth, we are free. Free to take risks (like writing this email) and empowered to create the lives we dream of. We choose Love and Possibility over Fear. 

In love and possibility, 

Brenda