What do you believe that isn’t true?

We all have beliefs that aren’t true. 

“Being fearful about money keeps me from being frivolous and careless with money.”

“I’m not good enough.”

“Taking risks is unsafe.” 

“Love hurts.”

Each of these is untrue yet many of us believe them. Without question. 

We all hold beliefs deep in our subconscious that are not true. 

Those untrue beliefs limit us and cause us pain and suffering.

Then why do we hold onto them?  

First off, we might not know the belief is there. 

If it’s something passed onto us from our family, religion or culture most of us take on the belief because everyone around us believes it. We might not even believe it consciously, but because we grew up around it, we have a deep, subconscious belief that is in opposition to our conscious belief. 

Which is why it’s so valuable to have a coach who can work through the conscious and subconscious aspects of your beliefs. A coach who can help you release the untrue beliefs and claim the conscious beliefs that serves you. 

I have clients with untrue beliefs about romantic relationships. Those beliefs keep them trapped in emotionally abusive relationships or in relationships that keep them from expressing their authentic self. 

In coaching they learn how to release the untrue belief and begin to claim their right to healthy, authentic relationships.

I have clients who have untrue beliefs about money. Beliefs that money is hard to make, that it’s easy to lose, that people want to cheat you, the government wants to take it all, they aren’t worthy of money, good with money… There are a lot of untrue beliefs about money! 

In coaching they learn how to release those beliefs and claim what is true, abundance is all around us. You are worthy of the wealth you desire. You are worthy of the abundance you desire. Abundance is your natural state. 

What untrue beliefs do you have? 

Are you curious about how coaching can help you release those and replace them with beliefs that are true and support your authentic self-expression? 

That’s what I’m here for. It’s my calling and my mission. 

Let’s chat. Book your FREE, no obligation, 15 Minute Connection Call today and let’s find out if coaching is right for you and if I am the right coach. You’ll be glad you did. Book your call HERE.

Where do you want to be?

I have a lot of clients who know where they are. 

• They are sick of having the same fight with their spouse/lover over and over. 

• They are tired of struggling in their business or career.

• They are angry at themselves for not having the difficult conversation with that difficult person in their life.

• They are exhausted from doing so much for others and running out of time to take care of themselves. 

They also usually know where they want to be. 

• They want to feel in charge of their life.

• Make decisions that prioritize what they want and need.

• Get clarity on the career or business issue.

• Have the courage to have that difficult conversation.

So how do they get there? 

That’s the question I’m answering today’s podcast episode on Uncover and Elevate.

You can listen to today’s episode HERE.

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

Can I really make him happy?

Today I’m sharing one of my most popular podcast episodes! 

And the topic is always relevant! 

As People Pleasers it’s so easy to get caught up in trying to make other people happy!! Especially our lovers!! 

So check out this replay if you can relate to this! You have a boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, or spouse, and you feel like no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to make him/her happy. No matter how hard you try you wind up feeling diminished in your relationship? There’s always another complaint and you feel constantly criticized.

Well, in this Episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser, I am going to share some examples and real-life experiences to answer this big question in today’s episode, How do I Make Him Happy?

And much more... Listen to today’s encore episode NOW!

Is it time to spice up your relationship with pleasure?

Sex is a beautiful way to express your love and affection to someone you love. It’s also a great way to release stress and dramatically change your mood. 

But, Have you ever felt like you want to be intimate with your partner, but your body doesn’t seem to be coming to the party? I think it’s probably happened to all of us.

Sex can feel like such a confusing and complicated topic, that many of us avoid it. Today, we’re looking at things with our eyes wide open! 

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep & discuss this topic with my guest, Liz Dube. Liz  is an expert on sex & intimacy. She speak to groups and blog regularly on the topic of sex and relationships

 What you will discover:

- What does a sex therapist do?

- How to Ignite Your Sexual Desire?

- How to deal with the lack of sexual desire, satisfaction, or confidence?

- How to stop being in the pleaser-mode while having Sex?

And much more… Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

Are you looking for love?

Are you looking for love? ... but it’s just not happening..

Well, many of us are seeking to find our perfect companion/lover/partner. We crave having someone by our side who will love us through our moments of imperfection, and share the memories of our lives with us. We’ve seen enough movies about it, so it must be possible, right?

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep & discuss this topic with my guest, Valerie DiLuggo. Valerie is a marriage & family therapist in San Mateo, CA. She currently practices at Catholic Charities Cyo. She is also a Dating & Relationship Coach, her goal is to help people find, nurture & celebrate love!

 What you will discover:

- How to find real Love and how to keep it?

- How To Prioritise Self-Love While You’re In A Relationship?

- Why should you stop abandoning yourself for the other in a Relationship?

- What is EMDR?

And much more… Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

How do I Make Him Happy?

How many of you can relate to this? You have a boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, or spouse, and you feel like no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to make him/her happy. No matter how hard you try you wind up feeling diminished in your relationship? There’s always another complaint and you feel  constantly criticised.

Well, in today’s Episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser, I am going to share some examples and real life experiences to answer this big question in today’s episode, How do I Make Him Happy?

And much more.. Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

How to Set a Boundary With a Difficult Person

Setting healthy boundaries with difficult people can be, well, difficult.

We all have at least one person in our life: the over-sharer, the over-asker, the over-stepper. Maybe they come over unannounced. Maybe they borrow things but rarely return them. Maybe they push relentlessly to turn your "no" into a "yes." They are boundary-crossers — and believe it or not, you do have the power to stop them.

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some  very important question regarding today’ topic:

How to Set Boundaries with Difficult People?

How do you know if you need to set boundaries with someone?

How does setting boundaries benefit you?

What is the knowing and doing gap? 

And much more.. Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

The Real Reason to Leave a Relationship

Should I stay or should I go?

A question we all ask ourselves at some point in our lives. At some point, most people find themselves facing the complicated decision of whether to stick with it or call it quits.

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some  very important questions regarding today’s topic:

What is the real reason to leave a relationship? 

Is there a good time to leave a relationship?

When should you consider leaving a relationship?

And much more.. Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

What to do When They Aren't Listening

Do you ever feel invisible during a conversation? 

You may feel like you’re talking into thin air!

You’re talking, but others aren’t listening. When it happens repeatedly, you wonder what you’re doing wrong – and it can be discouraging.  It can feel like there’s no solution, and it’ll never change. But it doesn’t have to be that way.  Once you understand the factors that are contributing to it, you can take some simple steps to regain your voice with others. You’ll be able to gain their engagement without having to change your personality or become aggressive..

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some very important questions regarding today’s subject:

Why aren't they listening?

What are the reasons and factors that are contributing to it?

What to do when they won’t  listen?

How to be seen and heard by others.

And much more. Listen to today’s episode HERE.

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to give us a 5-Stars review if you’re Listening to our Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your Life, we are more than happy to see our Listeners Feedback because this is what really motivate us to go on and create more and more helpful content for you and for everybody else.

Do You Ever Feel Overwhelmed?

We’ve all felt overwhelmed at some point in the last year. 

I’ve worked with several clients who were experiencing a deep feeling of overwhelm. 

I imagine you can relate. 

Where does all this overwhelm come from?

More importantly, what the heck do we do about it? 

Every client I’ve worked with resolves their overwhelm when they get grounded and focused on their own power to affect their life. 

Overwhelm is a sign that we’ve left our “home.” That unlimited power that is at the very center of our being. It’s the very truth of who we are. 

It may be buried under a huge to-do list, or the wants and needs of others, the toxic co-worker or angst in some area of your life. But it’s there. I promise. 

Like every client I coach, you can solve the feeling of overwhelm by accessing that place of power that is living within you every moment of every day. 

Sure, you may still have a problem to solve, a boundary to set, a difficult conversation to have, but you’ll do it from a position of strength and confidence. You solve it as a person living from the truth of your authentic power. 

There’s no overwhelm when we’re in our power. 

If you want some help accessing that power, I can be your guide. DM me. All you need to do is tell me you’re ready to live from your authentic power! You deserve it! 

What happens when men are people pleasers?

As we all know, a people pleaser is someone who tries hard and spends a lot of energy trying to make others happy. They will often go out of their way to please someone, even if it means depleting their own valuable time or resources. Being a people pleaser is not a bad thing, it’s more like a double-edged sword, it depends on how we actually use it.

But what if the People Pleaser we are talking about is your man/husband?

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some very important questions regarding today’s subject.

How to live with a man who is a People-Pleaser?

And how it affects your relationship.

You’ll want to hear all about it in this week’s Episode with my guest Kimberly Brenner.

Listen to today’s episode HERE.

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to give us a 5-Stars review if you’re Listening to our Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your Life, we are more than happy to see our Listeners Feedback because this is what really motivate us to go on and create more and more helpful content for you and for everybody else.

Is “Closure” an Illusion?

Everyone talks about getting “closure” when relationships end. 

What is it that makes us think there is such a thing, or that it would help? 

Think about a relationship that you’ve had come to an end, that has been painful. It might be a romantic relationship, friendship, or even a family member. 

Or maybe you think about “closure” in regard to things that you’ve lost? A job, relationship or something of value. If so, think of that. 

What are you hoping to get with closure? 

Do you want to know “what happened?” Or, “where things went wrong?” Or the age old question, “why?”

But the answers to those questions, rarely, if ever, serve us. 

What they do is re-victimize us. 

The departing spouse gets to tell you all the things you did that they didn’t like. Or all the things that are “wrong with you” which is why they had to leave, have an affair, take your money, whatever the case may be. 

Sometimes worse, we spiral down into self-criticism - all on our own!

Filled with “I should have…” or “If only I had done/not done…” 

This is why I love the “don’t know” mind. It allows for a fresh start. 

What if you didn’t know why, never knew why, how or what ever it is, you think will give you closure? 

You start fresh, in the present moment. With exactly what is, but only what is. Nothing extra. Nothing less. 

It might look like this: I am a person betrayed by my spouse/lover who needs a place to live and needs to heal from the hurt I’ve experienced. I have a few people close to me that I can trust to love and support me during this time. I will ask for the help I need. I will take care of myself to facilitate my healing. I will seek the help of a professional. I am seeking what wants to emerge in me during this transitional and transformational time. 

Those statements honor what has happened and they empower you. You are not dependent on someone else to be okay, to heal, or to get back on your feet. Sure, you’re asking for help, and you are setting yourself up to be willing to receive help. That’s empowering! 

Now, I understand that it might be easier said than done, but I promise you it’s possible and it’s far more empowering than any imagining of closure, because it keeps you in the driver’s seat of your life! Where you belong. 

And, I am here to help you. I would love to be the professional you ask a helping hand from. It’s really a ‘facilitation’, which is a more empowering word than ‘help.’ I facilitate liberation in my clients. That way they experience true and lasting transformation. 

DM me and let me know if you could use a little facilitation into liberation! We’ll set up a call to chat and decide if now is the right time and if I am the right coach for you. 

I’ve got some resistance! Do you?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed some things I’m having some resistance to. 

Who cares, you might ask?

I’ve learned that resistance is a fantastic indicator of where I am out of alignment with what’s best for me. 

Here’s some popular items of resistance, see if you can relate to at least one of them: 

• Having a conversation with a family member, your lover or someone at work. You know you should, but then you rationalize all the reasons “it won’t do any good anyway.” And, you keep resisting the conversation.

• Pleasure. Whether it’s because you’re busy and like me, you move pretty fast, so slowing down for pleasure isn’t easy for you, or you’re not used to even considering what taking time for pleasure would look like for you, you’re waiting for a  more convenient time… you keep resisting pleasure.

• A project that tugs at you. It could be clearing out a closet, starting a garden or leaving your soul-sucking job and starting a business you’re passionate about. Every time this project tugs at you, you push it away, put it on the back burner, in short… you resist it. 

• Looking at your credit card balances or finances. It feels overwhelming. It stresses you out. You tell yourself you aren’t good with money and you resist your money situation. 

There are many things in life we can be in resistance to. 

Here’s the silver lining. 

Resistance is a gift. 

Resistance shows us what we need to move towards or move away from. 

That’s right. Resistance doesn’t always mean we’re avoiding something we NEED to do, like pleasure. That’s how we usually think of resistance. It’s keeping us from something good for us. 

Pleasure is good for you. It’s good for your mental and physical health. In the case of pleasure, resistance is likely an unconscious punishment or a way you are withholding from yourself. 

When is resistance telling us to move away from something? Let’s take the project. Maybe it’s a project of obligation (throwing your parents a 50th anniversary party.) The truth is, you don’t want to do it. Bam! Resistance shows up in an attempt to get you to align with your truth. You don’t want to throw a party. 

Even resistance to something like finances could be a sign that you need to engage someone to help you with your finances. This can be a tricky one because there’s so much money shame in our culture!! Whether you have too much, not enough, spend too much or are miserly, judgement is flying every which way around money. You could be resisting out of a shamed view of your skills with money or resisting because it’s just not your thing and you need your spouse to handle the finances or hire someone to help you with it. 

The moral of the story… your resistance is your friend. 

Get him/her/they a cup of coffee/tea/Kombucha and find out what the gift is that resistance has for you. 

If you need a little help, I’m here! It can be hard to figure out if resistance is taking towards or away from something. A couple of sessions will give you the clarity you need to drop the resistance and move toward or away from something with confidence! 

Book a call and let’s see if now is the time for you to get the clarity and confidence you crave!

Can Sex be a Gateway to Awakening?

Do you think sex can be a gateway to your own personal, professional and spiritual awakening? 

My podcast guest, Dominey Drew and I, as we discuss how sex and pleasure play a role in our awakening at all levels. 

Dominey and I will share very personal stories - you might want to grab your headphones - and open up about our own awakenings. 

This episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser may stretch your current paradigm about awakening… so I encourage you to open your heart and mind and join us for this amazing conversation! 

Listen to the episode HERE. 

In love, light and awakening, 

Brenda

PS This is in the show notes, but to make it easy…. To connect with Dominey find her on IG: @DomineyDrew - or email her at domineydrew@gmail.com  You can book a call with her, tell her you found her on the Liberate Your People Pleaser Podcast:

https://calendly.com/domineydrewcoaching/exclusive-access-consult

V-Day; A Blessing or The Blues?

I’ve been on both sides of these two end of the Valentines experience...

No matter where you are, today’s podcast is for you!! 

Let’s face it. Relationships can be a bit of a rollercoaster. 

How can you stop feeling tossed around and whiplashed by the relationship rollercoaster? 

I’ll share some personal stories of my relationships and how I learned to stop feeling whiplashed. 

Listen to the episode and liberate yourself, HERE. 

I’m sending you love on this Valentine’s Day.

People Pleasing in the Bedroom 🙄

It’s time to talk about how people pleasing affects us in the bedroom. 

This is a subject near and dear to my heart, because I’ve lived through sexual abuse as a child and a truly disfunctional sex life in my first marriage. 

When that marriage was over one of my most prevailing thoughts, even though I had four kids from 8 - 15 years old that I needed to support on my own when I didn’t make enough money to do that… was, yay! I never have to have sex again! 

I know. Hard to believe! 

This is a big topic that I can’t do justice to in one blog, but let’s start the conversation. 

When we are in our people pleasing habits that keep us prioritizing our partners wants, needs, feelings, likes and dislikes, we can’t be in our authentic power. When we aren’t in our authentic power, we can’t be authentic lovers. 

We can have sex. We can say yes, when we want to say no. We can tell ourselves it’s what’s expected of a good wife/husband. (Yes, ladies, there are plenty of men who are people pleasers in and out of the bedroom and it doesn’t serve them any more than it does us.) We can go through the motions, but the best sex is always when we’re really present. 

That’s why, for those of you who have experienced it, it can be easier to have great sex with a stranger. There’s not any relationship baggage and we tend to be present. Our bodies were made for pleasure. If we show up and are present, it unusually turns out to be pretty good! 

How do we get our power back in the bedroom? How do we stop saying yes when we mean no, or prioritizing what our partner wants over what we want? 

The first step is deciding it’s important for you to get what you want and need in the bedroom. You’ve got to believe you have the right for your wants and needs to be a priority. Of course, in a healthy relationship we share who’s needs get priority if our needs are conflicting, but it can’t always be your lover’s turn! 

The second step is to know what you want. 

Wait. 

That might be a problem. 

If you’ve been prioritizing your lover for a long time, you might have lost touch with what you want in bed. What gives you the most pleasure. What is fun to you. If you’ve lost touch with your own pleasures, it’s time to go back to when you were a kid and innocently enjoyed exploring your  body and sexual stimulation. 

I grew up in such a sexually dysfunctional family, I didn’t do any innocent exploration of my body or sexual pleasures until I was in my 30’s. Yep. That’s not a typo! So… If I made it to sexual pleasure and freedom, you can too! 

Start. Take one step. Then take another. 

If you need some help, I’m here for you. 

This is a perfect issue to get some one-on-one coaching for. 

I promise, no matter where you’re at, there’s hope. You can have fantastic sex and feel authentic power in the bedroom. You aren’t alone. You don’t have to figure it all out. I’m here to gently guide you into your authentic sexual expression. Hit reply, your email is confidential and I’m the only one who will see it.

In power and pleasure, 

Brenda