Do You Think this is True?

We take care of the things we love.

We accept the things and people we love.

We don’t require perfection. The frayed hem on a favorite pair of jeans. Our child’s misspelled word on a note they’ve written us.

As we head into the end of the most bizarre year most of us have had in long time… I would like to suggest that we focus our attention on love. Not just in the obvious places, like family, friends, pets, and our belongings.

Let’s love people.

Let’s love the earth.

If we care for and accept our planet and its people, we will end the year on a much lighter note, in every way.

I didn’t ask you to agree with people. That’s different.

But I know there is someone right now, that you love deeply, and… you don’t agree with them on at least one thing. They may even do things you think are “wrong.” And, you love them anyway.

Let’s expand on that.

I remember when I was in my 20’s and found out one of my friends was bi-sexual. This was a time in my life when I was deeply embedded in a conservative Christian culture that absolutely condemned everything except being heterosexual and monogamous. I am NOT embedded in that culture now, and do not hold those beliefs anymore, but I tell this story as a perfect example of what I’m suggesting we all do.

When I found out my friend lived a lifestyle that my belief system condemned, I was thrown off-kilter. This was someone I love and cared about. I wasn’t able to drop into the typical and prescribed “condemnation-mode” that hearing this about someone else would have dropped me into. It suddenly wasn’t so easy to judge and condemn someone I loved.

And, boom. Just like that, because of love, my judgment dropped. I dropped my condemnation of her and if I dropped it for her, I had to drop it for everyone who had a sexual expression different from my own.

Because, I don’t judge, condemn and destroy what I love. I bet you don’t either.

I heard an environmentalist say that their mission was to get people to “fall in love with” the earth. Because people protect what they love.

It goes for people too.

We’ve still got some uncertain days ahead of us.

Remember, I didn’t ask you to agree with people you don’t agree with. That’s different.

We can disagree without judgment and condemnation, although many people lump all those things together. It’s not necessary. And you know at least one person in your life, right now, that you don’t agree with, yet don’t judge and condemn them.

Let’s work to broaden that grace to those we don’t know.

To love our planet and its people. Period.

That’s my formula for making 2021 better than 2020.

Love. Acceptance.

Will you join me?

This is the one question you need to know!

Do you sometimes ask yourself questions that don't exactly help? Questions like, "Why did I do that?" "What's wrong with me?" 

There are so many questions we ask ourselves that are disempowering, make us feel like shit and can send us into a downward spiral. 

Let's stop. 

I've got a lovely, empowering question for you to use as a replacement. 

"Is this loving to me?" 

Simple. Powerful. Gentle. 

It's incredibly helpful. Very practical. It's a question that always has your best interest at heart.

Here's how I've used it: with my to-do list. I look at my list and ask, "Are each of these things loving to me?" If the answer is yes, I do them. If it's no, then I remove them or put it off for another time. I trust that things that genuinely need to be done will get in the "it's loving to me" column in time. 

Here's the other way I use it, when I'm having a bad day. Yep, life coaches have them too, and I'm saying negative, unkind things to myself, like, "you're not doing enough!" "You aren't smart enough to figure out Facebook ads!" I stop and ask myself, "Is that loving to me?" Wow. That stops me dead in my tracks. I stop and let myself feel love for myself. Then I go back to whatever it is I'm doing, with a loving attitude. 

It's such an empowering question. Try it! Tell me how you like it! 

What does a life coach do anyway!

What Does a Life Coach Do Anyway?

This may be my most frequently asked question! If you are unsure yourself, it's okay. You're in good company.

Top Three Reasons You Could Benefit From a Life Coach

Watch today's video to find out the most common reasons I've sought out the services of a Life Coach and why most of my clients work with me.

Then check out my website and see how to get started if you want to explore working with me. Spoiler alert! It's easy. We'll start with a free 30 minute "get to know each other" session and decide what feels right from there. Check out the details on the Coaching page of my site.

Love Heals

Love Heals

This is a truth I feel so strongly about. We are divided in our nation in many ways today. We see violence and hatred every day. How do we change that? With one loving action at a time.

When we heal ourselves with love we can heal others

Using love to heal ourselves and others is what I believe in, more today than ever. Does that mean we're passive? That we don't speak out or stand up for what we believe in? No!

I invite you to join me in this important conversation. Standing in our truth, being authentic and doing it all in love.

Get videos and other cool  stuff to Live Lavishly every day right here.

Random Acts of Generosity

I was at Target.

It was a typical Target run: Windex, picture frames, poster board, socks, coconut water… you get the idea.

When I went to check out, I realized I didn’t have my wallet. I was a victim of online shopping from my living room that morning!

The cashier told me to take my cart to Customer Service and they would keep it until I could return with my wallet.

I went to Customer Service and waited for the woman in front of me to finish her exchange. My turn. I tell the Customer Service representative that I left my wallet at home. She is gracious and says she’ll keep my cart of goodies until I can return, when I hear, “Oh! You don’t want to have to do that. I’ll pay for it.”

I’m stunned and baffled. Behind me, a woman walks up, the one who had been making her exchange. No doubt, I am looking stupefied. She repeats herself, “It’s such a pain to have to go home and come back. I’ll pay for your items.”

I start protesting. “I don’t live that far away. You don’t have to.  It’s very sweet of you, but not necessary.” Of course the voices in my head are moving much faster than the words out of my mouth. You know how that goes. I’m thinking: “I can’t accept this. I don’t NEED financial help. I just got a promotion and a raise. I can’t accept this, I just can’t!” Meanwhile, this beautiful soul I now know as Sharon, keeps insisting.

Then I had my moment. Less than a week before I was talking to someone else, she too was not in financial need. She didn’t feel worthy of receiving because she didn’t NEED it. She wasn’t hungry or unable to pay her bills. Her husband makes good money, etc. I was talking to her about the importance of feeling worthy…yes WORTHY of receiving, in small ways and large ways.

BAM! It hit me. I have to practice what I preach. I stopped protesting and said, “Thank you!” I cried, no big surprise if you know me, I took pictures to post on Facebook, Target chipped in a 5% discount, the Target staff was pretty blown away by what was happening as well. I kept freaking out as the register total got higher and higher. I go back to protesting, “You can stop! This is costing too much. I really appreciate what you’re doing, but I don’t have to get all of this today.” The sweet and generous Sharon kept saying, “Nope. I’m all in!” She was true to her word at a total of $127.26!!

Sharon and I exchanged business cards. Later I emailed her and told her how grateful I was and what a lesson it was for me in how to receive. She wrote back and said that meeting me brightened her day. Imagine that! The encounter brightened her day! Then she shared these wise words, “I saw the chance to teach myself to stop and reach out – how many times do you see or hear something and then wish you would have acted on it or acted in a different way?  This quite simple act lifted us both and will continue to lift others…”

Wow.

That is the challenge: to stop and reach out.

One woman’s random act of generosity; it changed me. It changed her. It matters. The things we do matter.

Sharon and I want to challenge you. Will you be the next one to offer a random act of generosity? Or will you, if offered, graciously accept someone else’s random act of generosity?

Take the random act of generosity challenge and describe your experience in the comments below. I’d love to hear how giving or receiving changed you.