What if Love Really Heals Every Wound?

I had the honor and joy of marrying my son and his fiance this weekend. (Photos on IG soon!)

I thought about love a lot. 

My journey of love. 

Romantic love. 

Self-love. 

The love of family. 

The love of friends. 

I’ve experienced so much healing in my life because of love. 

While others were at times a part of that and I healed through their love…

The truth is, it has been the journey of loving myself that my deepest healing has occurred. 

That’s why I love coaching so much. 

You could say, what I do is coach clients into healing themselves by loving themselves. 

Do you want it? Do you want that deeply healing experience of loving yourself into life? 

For just two more days, June 30, I’m offering a crazy affordable “Love Heals” coaching package. Three, one-hour sessions for $300! Consider it my love offering to you and your journey. 

Whatever needs healing. Whatever you want. It is possible for you… through the power of love. 

Get your Love Heals package HERE. 

Do You Need Some TLC?

We all need a little TLC! 

Not everyone had a nurturing mother who always knew the right things to say. Who would comfort and love us no matter what. 

That's OK. 

In today's episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I'll show you how to ALWAYS get the TLC you crave! 

Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

I did a total 180 on this…

I was raised to judge and condemn everyone who was not a cis gender herterosexual. 

How did I get to be queer friendly? 

I consider myself an ally to everyone identifying as LGBTQA+, non-binary, pansexual, and an anti-racist. (Although my calling myself an ally doesn’t make me one! It is by our actions that we demonstrate how much of an ally we are!)

All those fundamentalist Christian beliefs began to crumble as I contemplated what I was taught, that “God” is love… (FYI, I don’t use the word God very often because I still associate it with the oppression of that culture, so use your own word if you want, the Divine, Source, The Quantum Field, whatever works for you.)

… it didn’t make any sense to me that love would create anything that wasn’t also love. 

Everyone had to be sourced from love.  

There is no condemnation and nothing is wrong with who we are.  

It is our birthright to be our authentic self. 

Twisting ourselves into being someone we are not, is painful because we’re not supposed to do it. Like putting a hand on a hot stove is painful.  

Love created us. Love didn’t make any mistakes. 

You and I are love. 

I know there are issues, political and cultural, that make things complicated and challenging. I’m not attempting to address them in this blog. 

I am wanting to say loud and clear, YOU ARE LOVE. I AM LOVE. We are created as love. 

You are beautiful just the way you are. 

Love or Fear?

I have a client who is facing a host of life changes. Career, finances, needing to move, relationship challenges, you name it! Life is hitting this client on all fronts. 

This is one of my super-powers, helping people navigate really stressful times of massive change. 

Why? Because I’ve done it myself, many times. 

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that we have to choose love over fear. 

Fear = anxiety, “not enough time,” limitation, scarcity, forcing outcomes, a feeling of powerlessness. 

Love = open to possibility, allowing, abundance, and a feeling that you are supported by invisible and visible forces. 

No matter how dire a situation is, and I say this knowing what it is like to have $50 and Googling homeless shelters, fear NEVER helps us find our best solution. 

Fear puts us in a box. And that box is very small. There aren’t a lot of options. It’s the home of “this or that” thinking. When we think small, we get small. 

Fear also gets us focused on the past or the future. A past that stresses or pisses us off and a future that seems grim. 

In fear, we feel powerless. 

Love, on the other hand, allows us to be open and trust that there are lots of possibilities. Even ones that we aren’t thinking about. We can ask for help, knowing there are tons of resources in the universe. 

Love allows us to be in the present moment, not in the past or future where we have no power. 

Love = power. 

Fear = powerless. 

Sure, it can be hard, when life is piling up on you, to find love. 

That’s why I’m here.

It’s my life’s work (and joy) to facilitate clients in choosing love over fear. No matter what the circumstances are. 

Where are you at today? 

Will you choose love, or fear? 

I’m here if you need a guide to help you. I’ve always had guides who have helped me. 

The first step towards love is to ask for the help you deserve.

Do You Think this is True?

We take care of the things we love.

We accept the things and people we love.

We don’t require perfection. The frayed hem on a favorite pair of jeans. Our child’s misspelled word on a note they’ve written us.

As we head into the end of the most bizarre year most of us have had in long time… I would like to suggest that we focus our attention on love. Not just in the obvious places, like family, friends, pets, and our belongings.

Let’s love people.

Let’s love the earth.

If we care for and accept our planet and its people, we will end the year on a much lighter note, in every way.

I didn’t ask you to agree with people. That’s different.

But I know there is someone right now, that you love deeply, and… you don’t agree with them on at least one thing. They may even do things you think are “wrong.” And, you love them anyway.

Let’s expand on that.

I remember when I was in my 20’s and found out one of my friends was bi-sexual. This was a time in my life when I was deeply embedded in a conservative Christian culture that absolutely condemned everything except being heterosexual and monogamous. I am NOT embedded in that culture now, and do not hold those beliefs anymore, but I tell this story as a perfect example of what I’m suggesting we all do.

When I found out my friend lived a lifestyle that my belief system condemned, I was thrown off-kilter. This was someone I love and cared about. I wasn’t able to drop into the typical and prescribed “condemnation-mode” that hearing this about someone else would have dropped me into. It suddenly wasn’t so easy to judge and condemn someone I loved.

And, boom. Just like that, because of love, my judgment dropped. I dropped my condemnation of her and if I dropped it for her, I had to drop it for everyone who had a sexual expression different from my own.

Because, I don’t judge, condemn and destroy what I love. I bet you don’t either.

I heard an environmentalist say that their mission was to get people to “fall in love with” the earth. Because people protect what they love.

It goes for people too.

We’ve still got some uncertain days ahead of us.

Remember, I didn’t ask you to agree with people you don’t agree with. That’s different.

We can disagree without judgment and condemnation, although many people lump all those things together. It’s not necessary. And you know at least one person in your life, right now, that you don’t agree with, yet don’t judge and condemn them.

Let’s work to broaden that grace to those we don’t know.

To love our planet and its people. Period.

That’s my formula for making 2021 better than 2020.

Love. Acceptance.

Will you join me?

Is There Still a Chance for Possibility Over Fear?

There's no time like the present to embrace Possibility over Fear.

But possibility doesn't include denial. Not in any area of our lives.

Denial does not deliver us to transformation.

Truth delivers us to transformation.

The truth is too many black men and women have been killed, abused and harassed because of their skin color.

I'm sorry that property is being destroyed.

But I'm more sorry for all the black men and women who have experienced countless acts of violence because of the color of their skin.

A friend of mine took her daughter out for a walk and to take some photos of her beautiful girl. She went to a common area IN HER NEIGHBORHOOD and because she is black, a neighbor called the homeowners association to report a "suspicious person" in their neighborhood. She fuckIng lives there! I can't begin to understand the outrage she is feeling!  

I'm all about Love. I'm all about possibility. I'm all about focusing on the change I want to be and see in the world, rather than all the violence and injustice that I DON'T want. 

But I DON'T want to be the person preaching LOVE AND LIGHT, while Hitler hauls off my Jewish neighbors. 

We have all been conditioned to believe that black people are less valuable. Even if, like me, intellectually, you reject that belief, here's why it's not that simple. 

For those in the US, we've been born into a country that is founded on the right of white people (mostly men) to steal, enslave and kill to get what they want.

It began with taking the land, and all within it, of the beautiful indigenous people that were here before our European forefathers. Our forefathers created their "new world" at the expense of others. Because they believed their right to create that new world was superior to the rights of those who already lived and raised families in this world.

What's happening today is uncomfortable and destructive, that's a shame. But it's more of a shame to harass, judge, incarcerate and kill people because of their skin color. 

I believe in the Possibility of equality.

Equality is practiced by individuals. We practice it - or don't - daily. 

I'm living in the Possibility that one-by-one we'll stop the subtle and not-so-subtle forms of racism that strip equality away. That we'll use our inner power to correct our own biases and spread our LOVE AND LIGHT EQUALLY. I'm committed to it. I'm not doing it perfectly. But I can't be silent. So I'm risking saying something "wrong." Inadvertently waving my white privilege flag when I didn't even mean to.

Because the unraveling of centuries of racism doesn't happen overnight. But it can happen. And I have to be part of the unraveling. There's no "Opt-out button for this one. That's the possibility I believe in. If you're with me, tell me. ✊💜

If you want an amazing book, that's even an easy read, get Stamped from the Beginning: The Definitive History of Racist Ideas in America.

If you're not with me, I won't engage in "converting you" or arguing with you. That's not my mission in the world.

But being silent so I don't "upset anyone" doesn't feel like an option either.

My mission is empowering people, from the inside out. Because it is the loving inner-authority we each have that is pure, powerful and loving. To be free we must learn how to unravel the distortions and conditioning of our culture, upbringing and life circumstances. When we do, we experience the unstoppable power of our truth, we are free. Free to take risks (like writing this email) and empowered to create the lives we dream of. We choose Love and Possibility over Fear. 

In love and possibility, 

Brenda

Do you want to be loved?

Do you want to be loved?

It's not a trick question.

We all want to be loved. It's central to our nature.

Of course, there's being loved by others and loving ourselves.

How do we love ourselves without being selfish?

How do we speak our truth when others may not like our truth?

Today I'm exploring how to live lavishly through self-love and how we do it in the relationships that matter the most.

Love Heals

Love Heals

This is a truth I feel so strongly about. We are divided in our nation in many ways today. We see violence and hatred every day. How do we change that? With one loving action at a time.

When we heal ourselves with love we can heal others

Using love to heal ourselves and others is what I believe in, more today than ever. Does that mean we're passive? That we don't speak out or stand up for what we believe in? No!

I invite you to join me in this important conversation. Standing in our truth, being authentic and doing it all in love.

Get videos and other cool  stuff to Live Lavishly every day right here.

Do I Have to Love Myself Before I Can Love Others?

Do I have to love myself before I can love others? I mean, really, isn't that a little selfish?

I think it's imperative that we love ourselves first. You don't have agree with me.

We'll explore the concept in the Live Lavishly Manifesto 4 video, "I know that I must love myself first in order to love others."

(If you don't have your Live Lavishly Manifesto, pick that up here.)

xoxo

Brenda