Self-judgment.
Our inner-tormentor.
“You did that wrong.”
“You’ve ruined it.”
“If you hadn’t done that, then this wouldn’t have happened.”
Does your inner-tormentor follow you wherever you go?
Almost every client I’ve had in the last few weeks has been dealing with it big time! As I coached them into self-love… which is the only cure for self-judgment… I realized…
I was doing it too!!
I was looking at my life, and a few of the things I’d like to be different and boom! My self-judgment went into full swing!
“If you hadn’t done that, this wouldn’t be happening.” Ugh!
I’ll give you the simple solution I gave myself and my clients, the answer to the end of self-judgment is self-love.
Here’s how to do it.
Whatever your inner-judge is throwing at you, love it, like it was a little kid trying something new.
When a child starts something new, let’s say learning to play the saxophone, as a mother of a child who did that, let me tell you, it’s not pretty! Your kid is going to make lots of mistakes while they are learning. It will be painful to your ears! You’ll want them to stop! But you won’t tell them to quit or that they sound terrible - yes you never do - because you love them and they are learning something new.
Everything we do in life is learning something new. The person we are today is doing something they’ve never done before as the person they are today. They may have done it from the person they were yesterday or 6 months ago or two years ago, but every day is a new day. You’ve never been here before.
When judgment comes in to tell you that you’re going to fail before you even begin lovingly tell judgment that today is a new day and doesn’t need to be defined by yesterday. Love it for trying to protect you, even though you don’t want to be protected that way anymore.
When it comes to tell you that you screwed up before so that’s why things aren’t the way you want them now, lovely tell judgment that you were doing your best back then and it’s okay if it didn’t all go the way you wanted it to. You’re on your way and that’s what matters.
Love. Love will silence the inner-tormentor, the inner-critic, the inner-judge. Love will keep you picking up that saxophone until you know how to make beautiful music with it.
And that music will heal you and make the world a better place.
If you need a coach to help you through this transformation of your inner-judgment, I’d love to chat! Book a 15-Minute Call and tell me where you’re feeling beat up by your inner-judge!