What are you avoiding?

Avoidance is a common coping strategy. 

We all do it. 

In the short-term it can feel like a good thing. 

But in the end… it doesn’t work. 

In today’s episode of Uncover and Elevate I’ll share: 

• Why we avoid things

• What it costs us to avoid

• Why avoidance strips us of our power

• How to take our power back

You can listen to today’s episode HERE. 

If this episode resonates, please share it on social and tag me! Then I’d love for you to post a 5 Start Review wherever you get your podcasts. It makes such a big difference and will help others find the show. I’ll be incredibly grateful!

How to stop “compare and despair”

A client was sharing the hardship they were experiencing. They weren’t whining, just telling their story.

Then she said, “I know other people have it worse. I shouldn’t complain.” 

That’s when I stopped her. 

As soon as we compare ourselves to others we head down a slippery slope!

In today’s episode of Uncover and Elevate  I’ll share: 

• Why we compare ourselves to others

• Why it robs us of our power

• How to get back to your own inner wisdom

You can listen to today’s episode HERE. 

Please share this episode on social and tag me! Then I’d love for you to post a 5 Start Review wherever you get your podcasts. It makes such a big difference and will help others find the show. I’ll be incredibly grateful! 

As always, I love to hear your questions and comments from today’s episode! Leave a comment on the platform you listen from, or DM me on Instagram: @brendafloridacoach.

In liberation, 

Brenda 

PS If you’re curious about working with me, let’s hop on a FREE 15-Minute Connection Call and see if coaching with me is right for you. There’s no obligation and now is the perfect time to get the added support of coaching as you continue in your journey! Book your call HERE.

How to Stop the Inner-Critic

Do you ever hear a voice in your head telling you that you are not good or that says to give up what you’re doing?

We all have that inner voice that expresses criticism, frustration or disapproval about our actions. It might sound like, “you should,” “why didn’t you?” “what’s wrong with you?,” or “why can’t you get it together?

That’s our Inner Critic. A person’s inner critic can play a significant role in shaping one’s identity and sense of self. This inner critic can be like a nagging voice that questions each decision and undermines each accomplishment, and it can leave a person with difficult feelings such as shame, inadequacy, or guilt.

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some  very important questions regarding today’s topic:

- How to stop your inner critic?

- What triggers the inner critic?

- Why should you forgive yourself for making mistakes?

And much more.. Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

What’s your personal power level right now?

I love the word, sovereign. 

What does it mean? “Supreme power and authority to rule.” 

Be the sovereign in your own life. 

There’s no one but you who should be the authority in your life. Only You. 

You need to have supreme power in your life. 

It doesn’t make you selfish or self-centered. 

It doesn’t justify meanness or judgment towards others. 

It’s a statement about who you are in relationship to yourself. 

Supreme power and authority over your life belongs to you and only you. 

When we feel like we don’t have power, it’s because we’ve lost track of our sovereignty. We’ve allowed a person or a circumstance to have power over us. 

This time of year that’s really easy to do. 

And, we can come back to sovereignty as soon as we notice it! 

No person or circumstance has a “right” to your sovereignty or power. . 

As people pleasers we were never taught that. 

There was another person, or people, who wanted that level of power and authority in our lives. They conditioned us out of being the sovereign in our lives, so they could be the authority and have the power. 

It’s time to take our power back. 

You have an absolute right to be the supreme power and authority in your life. 

I’m curious? How does that feel? 

Don’t be surprised if you feel awkward about it, or it feels selfish, or arrogant. Remember, you’ve been conditioned to think that way. But, tell me, if not you, who? Who should have power over your life? 

You are a unique human being. There’s no one like you. No one knows you as well as you do. You are the authority on you. You deserve the power of sovereignty in your own life. 

Let’s make sure you have your power and keep it as you transition out of one year and into another. Complete this simple form and we’ll see if it makes sense to work together in the coming year. 

Because all your power is waiting for you to come find it. Living from your power is living in liberation! 

Have You Had It?

Sometimes you just have to stop. 

Stop so that you can take care of yourself. So you can remember who you truly are. 

I’ve been on an emotional rollercoaster the last few days! How about you?

We all get on the rollercoaster for different reasons. We’re triggered at different times by different things. 

The question is, can we get off the rollercoaster and get back to a feeling of being grounded and calm? 

I had to “phone a friend.” She talked me off the ledge and helped me remember who I really am. 

Because the truth is, we are soooo powerful!

We have so many resources at our disposal. Inside resources. I’m not asking you to get more resourceful so you can get more done! No! 

Your inner-resources are unlimited. You may not think so. You may not feel like it. But, trust me, they are there. 

My BFF helped me remember what mine were. 

I help clients find and remember theirs. 

More than ever, at this time of year, we must remember the infinite possibilities within us and the power we have inside of us. 

I hope this message reminded you of yours. And if you need help, I’m here. DM me and let me know you need a little help remembering how powerful and awesome you are! 

You might love this

The last few years have stretched most of us in ways we couldn’t imagine. 

Along the way, most of us picked up a fair amount of anxiety. Even if, like me, you aren’t prone to it, anxiety seems to have set up camp in our yards! 

So many people I talk to and coach feel like there’s no escape. As if anxiety is something we have to learn to live with. 

Now, I don’t like being a victim to anything or anybody and I don’t want my anxiety to have power over me. 

I may not be able to stop anxiety from knocking on my door, but I know that I have power over how I answer the knock. 

On Thursday, Oct. 21, I’m teaching a FREE Masterclass with three of my best anxiety busting tools. These tools are tried and tested through my worst days. On some of those days the anxiety threatened to paralyze me. These tools allowed me to shift my thoughts and energy, allowing me to move forward with my day. 

It’s such a relief when you experience that shift. I want you to have relief. 

Join me on October 21, 2021 at 4 pm Pacific/7 pm Eastern for my first Third Thursday Masterclass! Yes, I’ll be hosting a FREE class every third Thursday on different topics and this month, it’s busting through anxiety! Register to get the Zoom link and the recording. That way, if you can’t make it live, you can listen later.  Register here.

And bring a friend! Just copy and paste the registration link: https://thirdthursoct21.pages.ontraport.net/

or, forward this email to them. Everyone is welcome, I just need everyone to register so I know who is coming. 💜

Let’s bust through that anxiety and move forward with what is possible instead of what is paralyzing! 

How to Set a Boundary With a Difficult Person

Setting healthy boundaries with difficult people can be, well, difficult.

We all have at least one person in our life: the over-sharer, the over-asker, the over-stepper. Maybe they come over unannounced. Maybe they borrow things but rarely return them. Maybe they push relentlessly to turn your "no" into a "yes." They are boundary-crossers — and believe it or not, you do have the power to stop them.

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some  very important question regarding today’ topic:

How to Set Boundaries with Difficult People?

How do you know if you need to set boundaries with someone?

How does setting boundaries benefit you?

What is the knowing and doing gap? 

And much more.. Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

Where are you flying high?

It was a weekend of highs and lows… in several ways. 

Huntington Beach hosted the Pacific Airshow this last weekend. It was exciting to have the Blue Angels and other masterful pilots doing stunts and various acrobatics right over my apartment. Literally!  

But there was also a big oil spill right off the coast of Huntington Beach overnight Saturday night, canceling the final day of the airshow and closing the beach indefinitely. 

It made me think about where I am “flying high” in my life and where I feel like those acrobatic pilots, stalling out and spiraling down to crash!

The oil slick is an unfortunate metaphor for how we can have a crack or weak spot in our system and just like that, there’s a leak! Black thick yuk is spreading and we’re not sure how to stop it. 

I have felt all three of these in various areas of my life. I’m flying high in my business right now! Nothing thrills me more than to have my calendar booked up with client appointments. YES! THERE’S STILL ROOM FOR YOU! I’m not completely full so if you’ve been wondering if coaching would benefit you, let’s  get on a call and find out. It’s easy, just use this link: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11249251&appointmentType=8395116 

I feel like I’m stalled out and maybe crashing in the dating arena. I was having fun on the dating app I’m on for a while, but I’ve lost interest. Stalling out can be interesting because it could be that you’ve stalled for a reason. To make room for something else on the way or to “rest” from something for a while. That’s how I feel about dating. 

But stalling can also be a sign that something is already unraveling and you need to pay attention to it. I help clients with this sort of thing a lot. Is it time to open up, or time to attend to something or let things play out for a bit? One of my favorite questions in a time like this is, “if nothing changed, what could be seeking to emerge?”

As for that oil spill, I’ve been there plenty of times. Leaving relationships, careers, financial set-backs, heartbreak with adult children, any number of things can feel like that big black oil spill creating havoc and destruction as it spreads. 

Whatever it is for you, I want you to know, you are not alone! 

I have been there in one way or the other. Our stories may be different but the feelings and stressful thoughts are the same. 

I invite you to get support where you need support and to celebrate where you need to celebrate!

I’m here, ready, willing and able to be the “clean up crew” to your oil spill or the co-pilot to help you pull out of that downward spiral. 

No matter what, you have within you everything you need to fly high! Let me know how I can help! 

Do you run away or run towards?

They say each of us is motivated to either---

• Run away from what we don’t want

• Run toward what we do want

I have found this to be very true as a coach and all my years in real estate. 

People are motivated by what they don’t want to have happen, or by what they do want to happen. 

Take someone who is a multimillionaire. I’ve known several extremely successful people who are driven to make a lot of money because they are afraid of being broke. The more they make the farther away from broke they are and they love that. 

Me, I am driven to run towards what I want. What do I want? To get my message of liberation to the masses. To coach as many people as I can to their own personal liberation. To live at the beach. To travel. To take my kids on vacations that are my “treat.” 

Don’t get me wrong, I HATE being broke, but running away from being broke doesn’t motivate me. Running towards abundance does. 

Which are you? 

The wonderful thing is, it doesn’t really matter as long as you’re running into your authentic power and self-expression. 

That’s what I love about working with each client I have. Everyone is different. Each one needs a unique solution, because they are unique. 

What’s the unique solution you need? I’d love to help you find it. 

I’ve got 3 spots left in my calendar for one-to-one clients. When they’re gone, they’re gone. Run away from missing out or run towards the opportunity!  My 90-Day Package is the best bargain - I don’t plan on offering it at this price again - and there are other options if 90-Days feels like “too much.” Some client’s like to start with 3 sessions and take it from there. 

Run over and complete this simple form, it will take about 5 minutes, then I’ll reach out and we’ll decide what’s best for you right now. 

Don’t wait. My calendar will fill up, and more importantly, your liberated, authentic life is waiting for you!! 

It’s your birthright

It is your birthright to live in authentic power and self-expression. 

All the habits of people pleasing take us away from that birthright. 

People pleasing keeps us overly focused on others and what they want and need, at our own expense. There’s nothing authentic about that. 

There was a time when I had no idea how to live any differently. 

Even when I began to see how pleasing others at my own expense was hurting me, I didn’t know how to stop. It was the only way I knew how to live. 

It felt selfish to even think of prioritizing my own wants and needs. That’s not what “good” wives, mothers or friends did. 

Over time, I learned what I coach others to do. 

I learned how to put myself first and in doing so, I became more generous. Less selfish. More clear on who I was and what I wanted. More of who I was meant to be. More. More. 

You can have more too. It’s your birthright. 

I am opening my calendar right now to a handful of people who are ready to invest in themselves and say “yes” to their birthright of authenticity and freedom! 

Are you one of them? 

In my “It’s Your Turn” Package you get 9 private sessions over 90-days, plus Voxer (a voice messaging service) support, so anytime you need a pep-talk or get stuck, I’ll be there to coach you forward. The investment is only $1,497 for the single payment discount. A fraction of what a life lived in authentic expression and power is worth. There are payment plans if that works better for you, because, “It’s Your Turn.” It’s time to say HELL YES! to yourself! 

Just complete this simple form:  then I’ll reach out to you and we’ll decide if I’m the right coach and if now is the right time. 

Claim your birthright. 

Is it Worth the Effort?

Do you ever wonder if it’s really worth it?

I mean really, all this self improvement work, all this personal growth work, all these things we do in an effort to liberate our people pleaser - is it really worth it?

There are times in our lives when we feel stuck and overwhelmed with everything going on around us. Life can be overwhelming and scary, and it can feel like too much to deal with on some days. 

We keep going because we don’t know what will happen if we stop. What would happen if we stopped for a second? Would the lives we have created just crumble around us? And obviously the question of our today’s Podcast topic: Is it Worth the Effort?

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer a very  important question and the main topic of our today’s podcast episode:

Is it Worth the Effort?

Listen to today’s episode HERE.

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

The Real Reason to Leave a Relationship

Should I stay or should I go?

A question we all ask ourselves at some point in our lives. At some point, most people find themselves facing the complicated decision of whether to stick with it or call it quits.

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some  very important questions regarding today’s topic:

What is the real reason to leave a relationship? 

Is there a good time to leave a relationship?

When should you consider leaving a relationship?

And much more.. Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

Do You Ever Think You're Not Enough?

One of the biggest things that I work on with clients is this: the fear that you’re not good enough.

The fear that you’re not good enough is a fear that affects everyone, though it shows up differently for each person (for some of you, “not good enough” expresses itself as going into workaholic overachiever mode; for others it shows up as comparisons; for others it shows up as procrastination and avoidance and not finishing what you start).

We all wonder at times if we are enough. This question, however, can turn into a painful filter through which we see the world and result in significant shame and sadness if left unexamined. While it is normal to have some self doubt, notably during the teenage and young adult years, it can become a painful consistent part of our life. Shame is a painful emotion, it whispers to us that “we’re not good enough” and worse yet, tells us we shouldn’t tell anyone about these parts of ourselves.

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some very important questions regarding today’s subject.

Why do we feel/ think like we are not enough?

How do we overcome this feeling or mindset that we are not Enough?

How to actually improve your self-esteem and stop dragging yourself down?

All of that am going to discuss in this week’s Episode with my guest Amy Smith

Listen to today’s episode HERE.

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to give us a 5-Stars review if you’re Listening to our Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your Life, we are more than happy to see our Listeners Feedback because this is what really motivate us to go on and create more and more helpful content for you and for everybody else.

How Can Pleasure Can be a Litmus Test?

Do you use pleasure as a litmus test? 

You may think that is a crazy question! 

In the world I grew up in there was a sort-of “nobility” placed on suffering and definite suspicion about anything around pleasure!

No one openly talked about pleasure. 

Even sex wasn’t talked about in the context of pleasure. It’s as if you should keep it to yourself if you were experiencing pleasure with sex. 

Anybody with me?? Comment down below and tell me if anyone you grew up with talked about pleasure!? 

As I’ve grown spiritually, I’ve begun to understand the true role of pleasure as a tool for guidance.

Yes, I’ve just used the words, spiritually, pleasure and guidance in the same sentence! 

I have come to know and experience that we are, I am, you are - designed for pleasure. 

When it’s time to make a decision, a great way to know what to do, is to ask, “does this feel like pleasure or pain?” 

I’ve learned the hard way sometimes, to move towards pleasure. 

Sure, the pain decision is sometimes more socially accepted. We live in a time that thrives on fear, pain, suffering, anxiety and things being “hard.” 

But, pleasure… that takes me into my unique self-expression. 

Pleasure leads me into authentic power. 

Pleasure moves me towards “scared-cited.” A lovely phrase for when you’re stretching outside of your comfort zone and into your next evolution. 

I hope you’ll join me for a Club and a Room I’ve recently started in Clubhouse. I apologize in advance for android users who can’t join. It wasn’t my idea to make it an Apple only platform, but alas… it is. 

The Club is, Sex+Pleasure+Freedom and the Room is, Sex as a Gateway to Awakening, which meets every Wednesday at 12:30 pm Pacific time. 

Follow me in Clubhouse, after setting up your profile and I’ll follow you too. 

Join the Sex+Pleasure+Freedom Club here: https://www.joinclubhouse.com/club/sex-pleasure-freedom

Join me for the Room Sex as a Gateway to Awakening on Weds. at 12:30 pm Pacific  here: https://www.joinclubhouse.com/event/mWOlVAn8

If you aren’t in Clubhouse, let me know with your reply that this topic interests you. I am super passionate about this topic and would gladly coach or create a program for it! 

V-Day; A Blessing or The Blues?

I’ve been on both sides of these two end of the Valentines experience...

No matter where you are, today’s podcast is for you!! 

Let’s face it. Relationships can be a bit of a rollercoaster. 

How can you stop feeling tossed around and whiplashed by the relationship rollercoaster? 

I’ll share some personal stories of my relationships and how I learned to stop feeling whiplashed. 

Listen to the episode and liberate yourself, HERE. 

I’m sending you love on this Valentine’s Day.

Do You Feel Successful?

I was in a Clubhouse room the other day participating in a discussion about success; how we define it and how it changes as we age and the world changes. 

If you haven’t heard, Clubhouse is a new social media space, currently, for iPhone only users. It’s an interesting format that I’m enjoying. If you’re on Clubhouse, I’d love for you to follow me and invite me to any rooms you’re in. I plan to start hosting my own rooms soon. 

Anyway, back to success, it was an intriguing discussion and made me realize how much people pleasing had influenced, or completely defined what I thought success was for much of my life. 

It’s so easy to define success by our family standards, society's standards, or our spouse’s standards. Even our friends can influence it. 

So my question to you is, if you were dropped in the middle of a new land, where no one knew you and no one had any preconceived ideas about what you’re good at, or what you like to do. And, you could be the version of yourself that feels the most authentic to you today. Not how you were 10 years ago, five or even one year ago. Clean slate. No expectations. 

And, just for fun, lets add the juicy detail that the place you’ve landed in, is your absolute favorite! Everything you see, hear and smell is exactly the way you love it! All your favorite things to do, see and experience are available to you. It’s your personal Disneyland… or version of heaven on earth. 

Now. What would you do to earn money? It’s a natural desire to want to contribute to the greater good. So, whether it seems like a “serious profession” or not, what would you like to do in exchange for money? 

How would you define success? Not just in regard to what you do in exchange for money, but for your whole life? Because success is a much larger topic than our careers or businesses. 

Tell me about it. Let go of all the ways you’ve prioritized your family’s needs or expectations, your cultural expectations, your company’s expectations, etc… and tell me what you would do and how you would define success. 

I can’t wait to hear!