From Darkness to Light: How to Navigate Challenging Times

I was homeless for two and a half years. That was a challenging time! 

It’s really hard to navigate challenging times! If you’re in one, you know! 

A Tic Tok video or Instagram Reel on mindset or abundance isn’t enough!

In today's episode of Uncover and Elevate I’m giving you my top three tools for navigating challenging times! You can use them for mini challenges or enormous ones! 

I’ll also share my biggest “failure” in navigating my own challenge with finances and homelessness. 

Listen to today’s episode HERE.

Please share this episode on social and tag me! Especially if you’re sharing it with someone going through a challenge! We all need support and to know we are not alone!

Are you thriving or enduring?

I hope you’re thriving this holiday season! 

I absolutely love the holidays! 

AND… 

My mother is in her end-stage of life, I’ve got a few family issues that can keep me up at night, and a personal disappointment I’m dealing with. 

Being a life coach doesn’t make life trouble-free! 

I have to practice the same tools I write about and coach clients through. 

Because I am not interested in enduring the holidays or any other time of my life! 

I want to thrive, regardless of my circumstances. That’s freedom! 

When I’m drawn into negativity, disappointment, even despair here’s the first two things I do:

1. I ask myself, “Is it true?” I’m not questioning how I feel. That’s important. We feel how we feel. I’m questioning the thought that made me feel bad. “Is it true that family issues will cause stress when we’re together?” 

Here’s the important part before you answer that question… take a few breaths. Quiet your mind a bit. The answers that come fast and furious to us are not our inner-wisdom, they are the stressful thoughts that got us here in the first place. We are INTENTIONALLY working to change our mental state which will change our emotional state. As my mind slows down I realize, the question can’t possibly be true. It hasn’t even happened! My thought is about something in the future, as many of them are, so I can’t possibly know it’s true! 

Whew! Right away I can have some mental breathing room. I can remind myself that I don’t even know if my thought is true. 

2. I imagine the exact situation, but this time without the thought that we’re going to experience stress when we get together. I can imagine us together as a family. I can imagine that the issues don’t even come up. Or, I can imagine they do and we have a really productive and healing conversation around them. Our being together turns out beautifully! 

By imagining the same situation that I was stressed about and imagining a positive outcome, I am moving out of “enduring” and moving towards thriving. 

I may not get to thriving in one step, but if I’m moving towards it… life gets better. And from there, it can continue to get better until I make my way back to thriving! 

If this makes sense, let me know. If you have questions about how to apply it in your situation, let me know. I always love hearing from you! 

I’ve also got the exact tools you need to thrive! It’s the Holiday Solve It Method™ Program and Special Offer. It has this tool plus many more to move you into thriving this holiday season and beyond. Get all the deets and take advantage of the special pricing HERE. 

Because you deserve to thrive!

Did this happen to you?

Did you get kicked in the butt the last few weeks? 

I have a lot of clients and friends who had all kinds of difficult things happen after the beginning of the year. Things like: 

• Relationship stress and drama. At home, at work, even friends. There was a lot of angst and anxiety in the air.

• Feeling stuck over making decisions. From sending divorce papers to asking for help on a project at work. Lots of folks felt stuck. 

• Obsessively thinking about disappointing situations and circumstances, some related to money, others related to jobs and relationships… negative thoughts, imagining bad outcomes, it was all coming in fast and furiously! Which lead to downward spirals of self-criticism and shame.

I LOVE coaching clients out of drama, stress, overwhelm, obsessive thinking, feeling stuck and angst! So I wonder…

How have your last few weeks gone? Maybe you were in the easy peasy crowd. But, if you weren’t I’d love to hear from you. Hit reply  and tell me about it. I’ll give you a quick tip or some feedback. 

I am also opening my calendar for 3 new coaching clients! I’ve only got 3 spots right now, so book your 15-minute call and we’ll see if the time is right for you and if I’m the right coach for you. 

Don’t stay stuck. Don’t stay overwhelmed, angsty or frustrated. There’s always a way out. 

Book your 15-Minute Connection Call HERE and we’ll find your way out. 

Does this happen to you?

Do the darker, colder days of winter seem to zap your energy? 

Is it harder to stay motivated? 

Is it harder to keep yourself from drifting into cold and dark places in your mind? 

When you’re sitting in the dark do you find yourself asking, what did I do wrong? Why are these difficult things happening to me? When will things get easier? 

Whatever the challenge, or even despair is, I promise you, asking questions that  start with “Why?” and “When?” rarely help. 

In fact, they will lead you into a long tunnel of self-judgment and blame. They are dis-empowering questions. 

Try this instead, first, turn the lights on! Literally and figuratively. Anything that will add more literal light and will lighten your mood. Grab your cat or put on uplifting music. Whatever it  takes. 

Then, start by making a list of 10 things you are grateful for, including things about yourself. Things you’ve done, awesome decisions you’ve made, lovely relationships you have, the things in your life you love and appreciate. Make a list of 20 or 30 if you want. Once you get started on your list, your “Why” and “When” questions may disappear into the ethers by themselves. If they do, don’t call them back! Let them go! 

Once your surroundings and mood are lighter and your gratitude list long, ask yourself, “How could this be for my ultimate benefit?” or my favorite, “What is seeking to emerge?” Those are empowering questions. 

We can look back on the most horrific things and see how they benefited us, how they shaped the spectacular people we are today. No need to wait for hindsight. Brainstorm. How can you benefit from what’s going on? Or, who is it helping you become? I can tell you, it’s helping you become the next highest expression of yourself! 

You are brilliant and glorious. There’s no one like you! Nothing is wrong with you. Everyone has shit happen. Everyone makes shit decisions from time to time. 

The universe has a beautiful way of turning all into gold for our future self. 

Taking a Big Leap after Failure

I’ve totally bombed a few times in my life. 

I’m being vulnerable and honest in this week’s episode. You can listen to it HERE.

I am in the middle of another big leap right now. 

I’ve had to be diligent with my mindset. My last big leap was a bomb! So, it’s easy to get fearful with this big leap. 

Fear is not helpful in taking a big leap! In fact, it’s like staring into a wall you don’t want to his and boom! You hit it because you’ve been staring at it! 

I don’t want to spoil the episode. Watch it HERE, then tell me about one of your big leaps!

Do You Ever Feel Like An Imposter?

Can you relate to any of these scenarios?

You go to work every day and feel like you put on a good show. But, if anyone could see behind the mask, they’d see that you’re afraid of making a mistake or do something that will reveal your lack of expertise. 

You landed a new job and feel terrified that someone is going to figure out you don’t know what you’re doing. 

You’re volunteering for an organization or great cause and while you want to help, you feel like everyone but you, knows what they are doing. You just hope everyone else doesn’t see that you are in over your head!

You feel like a fake.

You think you were lucky to get where you are.

You think what you do is, “no big deal. Anyone could do it.”

You’ve had some success, praise even, yet you can’t shake the feeling that you just don’t have the confidence you imagine others having. The confidence you’d like to have.

If you can relate, you have Imposter Syndrome.

It’s incredibly common. Especially in women.

But…it’s time to kick the imposter to the curb.

Here’s the truth. You’re a badass. You know how I know?

You wouldn’t be asking yourself these questions if you weren’t.

Only Badasses look inside to see what’s fucking with them.

As a fellow Badass, I feel your pain.

I’ve suffered with Imposter Syndrome myself.

I’ve got some tips to help you shift from Imposter to Confident Queen!

1.     Feelings aren’t facts. Think about a time you were sure someone was mad at you. You felt hurt, probably defensive, maybe guilty. Then, you found out the person wasn’t mad at you at all! None of those feelings you felt were “true.” The situation didn’t even exist. Yes, that’s how imposter syndrome works. You feel like a fake. You feel lucky. You feel scared someone’s going to figure it out. Here’s the thing; those feelings aren’t true. They are just feelings. Treat them like you would a wounded animal or small child. No yelling. No self-recrimination. Love. Gentle, sweet Love. She/he is scared. Love them into feeling safe. 

2.     Inventory your achievements and skills. It’s time to honestly assess where you’re at.Get a Badass friend to help if you need to. If you’ve worked at your job for a while, pull out a review from your supervisor and revisit how they describe your strengths and weaknesses. Here’s a super-important thing about Badasses, we know we aren’t perfect.

We can be trained and mentored into higher level skills and we’re excited about that. Improving is not a back-handed insult! Of course, you have weaknesses. Of course, there are things you could need training or mentoring with. That makes you human, not an Imposter. Notice all the compliments, praise and comments you get about your strengths. Write them down. Keep it close. That’s your ammunition the next time Imposter Syndrome shows up!

3.     Practice makes perfect. This is different then, “fake it till you make it.” When we practice, we put ourselves into our future, confident self. We imagine who we would be and what we would do if we didn’t feel all those Imposter feelings. We see ourselves like our BFF does: as a fabulous Badass work in progress.

When we practice being our Badass future self, we can ask for help where we need it, because asking for help doesn’t indicate weakness or incompetence. We gladly accept compliments from supervisors and peers for our accomplishments, without minimizing or dismissing them. No more will the words, “anyone could have done it,” or “I was just lucky,” come out of our mouths.

4.     Get a coach to help you. Seriously! These feelings and thoughts are woven deep into the core of who we are. Don’t expect yourself to read a blog or watch a few YouTube videos and boom! Imposter Syndrome is slayed! That’s the kind of thinking that keeps it going. You allow yourself a few “wins” but the pattern, buried deep inside, is still there, so it will rear its ugly head again.

We all have our unique triggers and patterns to the Imposter Syndrome. If it was easy to transform, everyone would do it. It takes Badassery. It takes getting the coach you need to navigate the process of transformation with you.

Because I’ve suffered with Imposter Syndrome and learned how to live from my own confident Badassery, and because I have mad coaching skills, I can help you. But, let’s get on the phone for a few minutes, just to be sure! In about 15 minutes, we’ll decide if I can help you transform from Imposter to Confident Queen! (Or King! Imposter Syndrome is NOT a gender issue! It can hit any of us!) Book your 15 Minute Discovery Call right here. I can’t wait to talk.

Why I had to remove my Mom from my email list!

Here’s the truth.

I have a lot to say about how to live a life that is unapologetically authentic (including that it means that life is not perfect!)

I’m all about taking risks.

I will put my life on the line to be truthful to myself and what I feel guided to do in my life.

And… that doesn’t mean I don’t look back and ask, “What the fuck was I thinking! I was totally operating out of fear and my ego!”

But… I don’t live with regrets. I go for it and clean up the messes I make as I go!

Here’s the problem.

I realized recently, that when it comes to what I say publicly and on social media, at times, I’m super truthful and even provocative. Yay! It always feels good because it is unapologetically authentic.

But sometimes I hold back.

Sometimes I “tone it down.” Yuk!

I’ve been told most of my life that I am “too much.” I want too much. I talk too loud. I laugh too loud. I say too much about my life. I talk about sex too much.

What quickly follows, “too much,” is “who do you think you are?”

How many times have we been asked that from others? Or, honestly, it’s often a self-inflicted question.

Who do you think you are?

I really, really want you to take some time, in a beautiful and peaceful place, and answer that question. It will change your life. Leave all your judgment behind. Leave all your ideas about what others will say or who they want you to be, or who you think they think they want you to be! (Yes, you read that right. Most of these things are things we think others are thinking.)

Recently, I came to terms with my need to stop “toning it down.”.

And then I took my mom off my email list.

Because, frankly, she doesn’t need to know everything I think and say, and I am committed to being truthful. If she does hear about it, I’ll deal with that.

If I trip and fall and start toning it down, I’ll stop it and go back to the truth, even if it upsets someone! Even my mom.

Because I can answer that question, “who do you think you are?”. I am bold. I am loud. I want more. I want a big, big life in every way. I want to help my clients transform their lives. I want everyone to have the great sex they deserve. I want everyone to work in the careers or businesses that thrill them. I want everyone to have a partner, spouse, lover that is their equal. That honors them, loves them, cheers them on, and nurtures them. Or, be single and love it! I want everyone to heal themselves, because then the world will be healed.

On Thursday I’ll be introducing the most provocative, exciting video series I’ve ever done, and in August, I’ll have a program with the same theme. The videos and the program will transform the way you think about your life!

That’s a BIG STATEMENT! But I can handle it. I’m BIG. I want more for me and you!