How to Navigate Challenging Times

During my two-and-a half years of being homeless, I promised myself that when it was over and life was easier, I would help people navigate their own challenging times. 

Today I want to share some of my best tools for navigating a challenging time!💜

First, if you want to hear more about my homeless story and the huge lesson I learned, you can watch the video HERE.  

Second, the more stressful life is, the more important it is to bring your focus to really small things that ARE working in your life. 

Why small things? Because when we can find the wins and feel gratitude in the small things, we pave the way for more possibilities in the big things. For example: 

• Listen to a bird sing. Be present. This works for all things in nature. Maybe birds don’t wow you like they do me, pick a flower or tree. Allow yourself to feel the relief or joy or whatever emotion comes up for you. Nature is a beautiful self-soothing tool. 

• Be grateful for things we usually take for granted, like clean water and hot water with the turn of the tap, your books, or a favorite spot in your home. Anything that is small, that you typically over-look, but now you’re being intentional! No matter what your challenge is, there are hundreds of things you can be grateful for. 

• Upgrade some small life-style items like your bath soap, or dish soap. The pen you write with the coffee you drink. Being intentional about the details of your life has a powerful effect on your mindset and experience. I’m a coffee snob. Even when I was homeless and broke, somehow I managed to always have my favorite coffee on hand. I could start my day EXACTLY how I love to… with a delicious cup of Philz Coffee!! The more small pleasures you can focus on, the better you’ll feel, even if something huge is challenging you! 

If you’re going through a challenging time, please know that you're not alone! There’s so much more I can say on this topic. I’ve even thought about creating a program devoted to navigating challenging times. If that interests you, DM me on IG (@brendafloridacoach) or email me by hitting reply to this email. I always love hearing from you!!

You might love this

The last few years have stretched most of us in ways we couldn’t imagine. 

Along the way, most of us picked up a fair amount of anxiety. Even if, like me, you aren’t prone to it, anxiety seems to have set up camp in our yards! 

So many people I talk to and coach feel like there’s no escape. As if anxiety is something we have to learn to live with. 

Now, I don’t like being a victim to anything or anybody and I don’t want my anxiety to have power over me. 

I may not be able to stop anxiety from knocking on my door, but I know that I have power over how I answer the knock. 

On Thursday, Oct. 21, I’m teaching a FREE Masterclass with three of my best anxiety busting tools. These tools are tried and tested through my worst days. On some of those days the anxiety threatened to paralyze me. These tools allowed me to shift my thoughts and energy, allowing me to move forward with my day. 

It’s such a relief when you experience that shift. I want you to have relief. 

Join me on October 21, 2021 at 4 pm Pacific/7 pm Eastern for my first Third Thursday Masterclass! Yes, I’ll be hosting a FREE class every third Thursday on different topics and this month, it’s busting through anxiety! Register to get the Zoom link and the recording. That way, if you can’t make it live, you can listen later.  Register here.

And bring a friend! Just copy and paste the registration link: https://thirdthursoct21.pages.ontraport.net/

or, forward this email to them. Everyone is welcome, I just need everyone to register so I know who is coming. 💜

Let’s bust through that anxiety and move forward with what is possible instead of what is paralyzing! 

3 Simple Anxiety Busters

Here’s what’s possible: Calm in the midst of difficulty. 

That may not feel true, but it is. I coach clients on how to do it every week. 

On the Third Thursday of October, I'll show you how! 

October 21, that’s next Thursday, at 4 pm Pacific/5 MNT/6 Central/7 Eastern we begin a monthly series I’m cleverly naming “Third Thursdays” so we can all remember when it is! 😁

This month I’m covering anxiety. As always, you’ll get some coaching and teaching along with practical tools to calm your anxiety, no matter what the situation or cause is. 

Nope. That’s NOT too good to be true. Remember, I’ve been divorced, fired, broke, had a failing business, an adult child who lived in profound unhappiness for years, I’m just saying, I’ve been through some shit. 

I can help you “find the calm,” wherever you are. 

Join me on Oct. 21, for Third Thursday! 

I’ll have a registration page in a  couple of days, but so you don’t miss it or get busy and forget, just hit reply and I’ll sign you up. That way you’ll get the recording, as a resource and in case you can’t make it live. 

Can’t wait to see you for the first Third Thursday and show you how my clients and I “find the calm” in the midst of stressful situations. 

The Cure For Anxiety

Would you like the cure for anxiety? That’s not a trick question.

I’ve noticed this pattern with clients and I’ve experienced it myself. 

Anxiety typically arises because we are avoiding something else. 

Let me give you an example. 

I was coaching a client who wanted relief from her anxiety. As I began to inquire about some things in her life, that initially seemed unrelated to the anxiety, I noticed she had some unexpressed anger at her husband. When I asked her about it, her response was, “it was a stupid thing for me to get mad about. He didn’t mean it.” 

How many times have you said that to yourself? “They didn’t mean it. I was stupid to get mad.” 

Then, low and behold, anxiety begins to emerge. Quite possibly over something unrelated. 

Our emotions are energy in motion. They will go somewhere. 

If we don’t acknowledge them, accept them and feel them, they will morph into anxiety. 

My cure for anxiety is to allow yourself to feel your feelings. When they happen. And, when it will serve you, share them. It’s important to express our truth. 

Sure, it’s easier said than done. Most important things are. That’s why people hire me to coach them through it. You don’t have to do it alone. 

I had someone ask the other day how to work with me. It’s easy really. You book a 15-Minute Discovery Call and we chat about what you want to work on. Anxiety. Impostor Syndrome. People Pleasing. Career Issues. Relationship Challenges. Taking a Big Leap. Whatever it is, we’ll find out if I am the right coach for you. There’s no obligation. At the end of the call we’ll decide what the next steps are. Easy peasy. Use this link to book your Discovery Call and we’ll figure it out together. https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11249251&appointmentType=8395116

Massive Improvement in Record Time!

Seem too good to be true?

Usually anything that’s really massive takes a lot of time.

When it comes to improving your life…

Working with me as your coach, is a super-charged life-hack!!

Think about all the things that most of us have struggle with, probably, for years:

·      Childhood trauma.

·      Family drama and stress.

·      Fears about money.

·      Anxiety about job security.

·      Stress in relationships.

·      Coping with the rollercoaster of being an Entrepreneur.

Can you relate to any of these? If you’re like most of us, you can relate to more than one.

We get so used to them being in our lives, it feels normal. It can feel like who we are.

“I have anxiety issues.”

“My family is dysfunctional”

“I’m always worried I could lose my job or money. It happens all the time to people. I can’t afford to relax or take my eyes off the prize, even if it is exhausting me and making me sick.”

We begin to take on circumstances as if they are who we are.

That’s when we need a life-hack.

You are so much more than your circumstances. No matter how huge and impossible yours may seem.

Enter, best-life-hack-ever… a great life coach!

Why? No, it’s not because I am one.

Here’s why hiring a life coach will save you tons of money and tons of time while you create massive improvement in your life:

·      I am objective, I don’t have any preconceived ideas of you or your life.

·      I have no agenda for you. You can quit your job, leave your business, live off the grid, buy a mansion, take off a year to sail the world, risk everything to start a business, leave your marriage, get into a polyamorous relationship, never go home for the holidays again… respectfully, I don’t care about the “things,” or the circumstances.

·      I have no baggage with you. We’ve never had a disagreement or pissed each other off. I’m not blinded by my love for you, although I have love and compassion for you. I don’t know what you did as a teenager or at any point in your life before our first session. I don’t know your family and what their expectations, imperfections or biases are.

I only know you as you are, right now.

It’s a fresh start.

We’ll create who you want to become.

Will we dive into some of those past circumstances, family patterns and who you think you are. Those things are helpful to the process. Then we’ll fucking liberate you from the things that hold you back!

As your life-hack, life coach, we’ll focus on what you yearn for, the thoughts that stop you in your tracks and how to turn them around so that they become empowering. We’ll tackle the feelings that diminish and limit you and transform them into the feelings that your liberated new-self will feel, then we’ll take action. Action that is inspired, playful and in alignment with your highest good.

It’s fun. It’s fast (especially compared to years in therapy.) It’s life changing.

One of my recent clients described it this way, “I really do feel like a shiny new person Brenda. You have changed my life forever. Thank you!” Jennee

Let’s get your life-hack started. Book a 15-minute Discovery Call and we’ll explore how I can facilitate you getting the sustainable transformation you’re looking for. There’s no obligation or commitment. This is an exploratory call to see if I can help you and if so, how. I’ve got some openings in the next few days, so give yourself some relief. Let’s talk about what you need. Book your call now, right here.

The day I almost slapped someone for telling me to be grateful!

You’ve heard it.

“Find something you’re grateful for.”

“Write down three things a day you're grateful for.”

Gratitude has become the end-all, cure-all practically.

When you’re drowning in fear, overwhelm and despair… it’s a little hard to find.

I remember last fall, I was having a very bad day that was part of a very difficult couple of months.

As a coach, and living my life pretty publicly on social media, I am committed to authenticity.

Which gets tough when you’re in an extended crisis.

I want to be real and… who wants to listen to a life coach who’s depressed!?

On this particular day, I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t see any end to my challenges. And this delightful person, whom I love, said the dreaded words… “Find something to be grateful for!”

I wanted to slap her!! (We were on the phone, which saved both of us from knowing if I would have!)

She insisted. That’s the way she is.

After several minutes… I succumbed. I really just wanted to get her off the phone and go back to my despair.

And then, I felt it.

A tiny shift.

Damn it! This gratitude thing works! I had forgotten.

I thought of two or three really simple things. I think the first thing I thought of was, “I’m breathing.” Which lead me to seeing something in the room I was in that I thought was pretty. Which led me to thinking of the person I was staying with and how grateful I was to be staying with her.

And there you have it. It didn’t solve all my problems. I still had a bunch of shit hitting the fan. There still wasn’t any end in sight as far as that shit went, but…

I felt a release.

I felt a little lighter.

My mind calmed down.

And from there I decided what to do next.

I don’t really remember what I did. I might have decided to take a nap, or a shower, or watch inspirational videos on YouTube, but I did something different than drown in my fear.

Damn it. Maybe gratitude is the end-all, cure-all!

Gratitude is one of the many tools we’ll be unpacking and mastering during my four-week coaching program, From Darkness to Light. Instead of wishing hard-times would magically leave, we’re taking them head-on! We’ll stare fear in the fucking face and win.

The mantra for the program is, “There’s no power outside of you greater than the power inside of you!” For those of you in the program, you’ll leave knowing that is true!!

There are only a few spots left, so get the deets and register here.

If you know a friend who needs the tools and support that From Darkness to Light will deliver, please share this email with them so they can join us. There’s no need to navigate the darkness alone. <3

What is your experience with gratitude? If you don’t have one. Try it. Tell me what happens!

How's your anxiety?

Anxiety hits all of us at some point.  

Sometimes it’s hot, heavy and never-ending. 

Sometimes it rushes in, out of nowhere, and grabs us by the throat.

It drives us into fear. Imagining terrible outcomes.

It’s always reminding us of something awful in the past or warning us about something awful in the future.

It masquerades as “helpful.”

As if it’s going to make you extra smart or extra resourceful in order to prevent or circumvent a terrible outcome it is imagining or remembering.

Think about it though.

Is it really helpful?

Does it really help you find your most creative, best possible outcome? Does it bring you to the best version of yourself?  

No.

Our best ideas, our best problem-solving skills come out of a place of peace and love. That’s why we ask friends and family for help when we’re struggling. We know they will think of something we won’t. Because they aren’t in anxiety about the situation.

Would you like to turn down the volume on your anxiety and turn up the volume on peace and love?

Then join me for From Darkness to Light. It’s a four-week, small group, coaching program. I’m only allowing 10 people in the group. It’s for men and women. We’re going to face anxiety head-on with tools and life-hacks that will turn down that volume. You’ll move you towards the peace and love that moves you into better decisions, less stress and into a better version of yourself.

I’ve priced it at a super reasonable $99. Get all the deets here and register. It won’t be a mistake, I promise. Your anxiety might not like it, but isn’t that the point??? <3 <3

Did you dread the start of a new week?

I hope not, but statistically speaking it happens to a lot of folks. 

It can start creeping in on Sunday. The dread of going back to work on Monday. 

The dread of a life that you aren't enjoying, slapping you in the face. 

Anxiety and despair, feeling like there's no way out. No escape. 

It's called a Dark Night of the Soul for a reason. 

Our typical ways of coping aren't working very well. 

We can't find a solution. 

The advice we get from family and friends can range from feeling impossible to downright irritating! 

So, what do we do?  

If you're like me, you don't just give up. 

It's life for fuck-sake! We can't just bail. 

But what do we do? 

How do we consciously navigate a dark night of the soul? 

Where's the life-raft? 

I’m creating a life-raft.

It’s the life-raft I needed. 

So, you can stop drowning in the downward spiral of anxiety and catastrophe driven thoughts.

I’ve been collecting tools and strategies for years.

I’m calling it, “From Darkness to Light.”

It’s a four-week group coaching program, for men and women.. I’m pricing it super-easy, because I know that sometimes, a dark night of the soul hits your bank account and I want you to have the tools and experience the support you’ll get when you join the program.

I want you to go. From Darkness to Light.

Hit reply to this email and let me know if you have any questions or are wondering if it's for you.  No one but me will see the email.

I'm only allowing for 10 people to register, so grab your seat today, right here. 

Grab onto the life-raft. 

From a Dark Night to a Balcony on the Beach?

Today I'm sitting on the balcony of a lovely hotel room overlooking the ocean, in my favorite place, La Jolla, CA. 

I've been very open this week about my own dark night of the soul, several of them actually. 

So, how did I get from a dark night of the soul to this balcony? 

Work. 

Yep. That's not sexy or even terribly intriguing. But, it's true. 

I worked every day to make my internal environment more important than my external circumstances. 

What does that look like? 

It looks like this: I launch a program and get nothing but crickets, I "need" the money to pay bills, nothing else good is happening professionally or financially, and I spend as much time as I need to shift my mindset and how I feel to abundance, instead of the scarcity and fear my circumstances could easily trigger. 

How did I do it? I use a lot of tools. One day one works, the next day it doesn't help at all and I need something else out of my bag of tricks! But between all the tools and the several online communities I get support from...I've gotten through each day. 

Is my struggle over? The gorgeous scene from my balcony is a bit deceiving. This moment, this weekend while I'm here I am totally enjoying all the abundance of it. That's one of my tools. Even when parts of my life are in crisis, I can find another part that isn't, and enjoy the hell out of that! I don't have to let the crisis define me. 

I'll bask in the abundance and glory of this balcony and weekend in my favorite place and know that the only thing that exists, is this present moment. 

And then, there will be a moment when I know what my next step is. For me these days, it's usually one step. I don't know the next 5 steps, just the next one. As Brene Brown says, "courage is the ability to be comfortable with discomfort." She didn't say, "courage is the ability to make discomfort go away. 

That's why I created both, From Darkness into Light and Cocktails and Coaching. Because Cocktails and Coaching is just plain old, good fun. And we all need that. Especially when we need tools to take us From Darkness to Light. They can both exist at the same time. 

Join me for Cocktails and Coaching on Wednesday's at 5 pm Pacific/8 pm Eastern in my private Facebook Group. You can join the group here. You can ask a question or tell me about a situation you want help with, here, and I'll address it live. 

If you're in crisis. If you're in anxiety, fear, confusion, self-doubt and spinning in negative self-talk, you need From Darkness to Light. I'm only allowing 10 people in the group to keep things intimate. Get all the details and register here. We start May 21 at 5 pm Pacific/8 pm Eastern​, but I'll close registration as soon as it's full. 

If you have any questions, hit reply and let me know. Your email will be private and I'm the only one who will see it. 

When Life Throws Sh*t at you... I'll show you a way out!

I love inspiring stories!

Especially the rags to riches kind.

When my life is in turmoil, when I'm struggling to get up and keep going, I wonder, how did they get through those bad days?

When great people tell their story and include the adversity they've overcome, we're inspired. But they rarely talk about how they got up every day and went to work or took care of the kids, when they were drowning in despair and hopelessness.

I've had a lot of ups and downs in my life. Times when I wasn't sure how to go on. But, I had to keep going. Life keeps moving. So I did too.

Over the course of my life, I've gotten better at how I navigate those times when I'm not sure I can keep going. I do it with less fear. Less anxiety. I've even learned how to cultivate peace and self-love, BECAUSE things were so hard, not despite the difficulty.

Since becoming a life coach I've had several conversations with other coaches about these, dark nights of the soul, and how few coaches, books or programs really address how to navigate a really terrible time. Everyone agreed with me. "Yeah, no one really talks much about it."

I decided to create it. The program that will show you how.

From Darkness to Light is a four-week group coaching program. We'll meet for an hour a week via free video conferencing.

I'm going to teach and coach. The group will support and encourage each other.

Everyone will get down-to-earth tools to get through the day, when the day is shitty.

If you, or someone you know, is experiencing a difficult time, please join us.

I'm only charging $99 because I know that difficult times often hit your finances.

Get all the details below and register for our May group. All sessions are recorded.

You can move From Darkness to Light. I've done it, I'll be your guide.

The Dreaded "Dark Night of the Soul"

A ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ is when you’re drowning in difficult circumstances.

When the things that used to work, when life served you lemons, don’t work.

You can’t figure out how to make lemonade out of this.

Is there something wrong?

It’s easy to drop into all the disempowering questions, like, “what am I doing wrong?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Why does life have to be so hard?”

Equally easy is what I call, compare and despair. That’s when it seems like everyone you encounter is thriving in the area(s) of life you’re being challenged in. Which brings up thoughts like, “How come they can do it/get it and I can’t?” Which usually takes us right back to “What’s wrong with me?”

Every great person I admire has had at least one dark night of the soul. But we hear their stories after they are on the other side. Eckhart Tolle and the two years he lived on a park bench before writing “The Power of Now” and became a wealthy world-famous author and spiritual leader.

Oprah and her years of poverty, abuse and so much more, before becoming a celebrated talk-show host and billionaire.

How did they navigate those years, living on a park bench, in poverty, abused?

And how do I consciously navigate and get through my dark night of the soul?

I don’t want to be a victim. I want to figure out what is here for me in this dark time.   

A dark night of the soul becomes a great part of our story, when we’re on the other side, we have evolved to the next level of our journey.

After a dark night of the soul, something better, bigger, brighter emerges.

That’s why they are “worth it.”

Why I don’t want to numb-out or runaway when one enters my life.

When my dark night of the soul hits, I endeavor to embrace it and ask empowering questions, “what is wanting to emerge in me now?” “What is the next highest expression of myself and who do I need to become in order to live it?”

When you’re swimming in fear, anxiety, despair and all you can imagine are terrible futures; the one where you run out of money, or get a bad diagnosis, lose the relationship, end up a bag lady or live on the street, it’s really hard to keep a vision of the “next-best” version of yourself and your life.

I know. I’ve been there. So,

I’m creating a life-raft.

It’s the life-raft I needed.

So, you can stop drowning in the downward spiral of anxiety and catastrophe driven thoughts.

I’ve been collecting tools and strategies for years.

I’m calling it, “From Darkness to Light.”

It’s a four-week group coaching program, for men and women.. I’m pricing it super-easy, because I know that sometimes, a dark night of the soul hits your bank account and I want you to have the tools and experience the support you’ll get when you join the program.

I want you to go. From Darkness to Light.

Email me and let me know that you’re interested. No one but me will see the email.

I’ll open registration later this week.

I love you and want you to go from darkness to light. It’s possible. You don’t have to do it alone.