How to Navigate Challenging Times

During my two-and-a half years of being homeless, I promised myself that when it was over and life was easier, I would help people navigate their own challenging times. 

Today I want to share some of my best tools for navigating a challenging time!💜

First, if you want to hear more about my homeless story and the huge lesson I learned, you can watch the video HERE.  

Second, the more stressful life is, the more important it is to bring your focus to really small things that ARE working in your life. 

Why small things? Because when we can find the wins and feel gratitude in the small things, we pave the way for more possibilities in the big things. For example: 

• Listen to a bird sing. Be present. This works for all things in nature. Maybe birds don’t wow you like they do me, pick a flower or tree. Allow yourself to feel the relief or joy or whatever emotion comes up for you. Nature is a beautiful self-soothing tool. 

• Be grateful for things we usually take for granted, like clean water and hot water with the turn of the tap, your books, or a favorite spot in your home. Anything that is small, that you typically over-look, but now you’re being intentional! No matter what your challenge is, there are hundreds of things you can be grateful for. 

• Upgrade some small life-style items like your bath soap, or dish soap. The pen you write with the coffee you drink. Being intentional about the details of your life has a powerful effect on your mindset and experience. I’m a coffee snob. Even when I was homeless and broke, somehow I managed to always have my favorite coffee on hand. I could start my day EXACTLY how I love to… with a delicious cup of Philz Coffee!! The more small pleasures you can focus on, the better you’ll feel, even if something huge is challenging you! 

If you’re going through a challenging time, please know that you're not alone! There’s so much more I can say on this topic. I’ve even thought about creating a program devoted to navigating challenging times. If that interests you, DM me on IG (@brendafloridacoach) or email me by hitting reply to this email. I always love hearing from you!!

Summer of Self-Care: Giving Yourself Permission to Say Yes

Ahhh, Summer. Do you imagine lazy nights in the backyard watching the fireflies and sipping a glass of wine?

Or maybe you're imagining yourself in you chair on a beach, hiking in the mountains or any other activity that relaxes your body, mind and soul!

And then reality hits. 

The kids have a million things they need to be taken to.

Something happens at work that requires added time and energy. 

Your romantic relationship blows up. 

Your mom falls and can’t get up so you end up caring for her or making all the arrangements for her to be cared for. 

Life happens. 

It’s easy to let it rob us of time, money and even the energy to invest in our own self-care. 

What do you do? 

I know we can’t ignore life. 

Yet, when something is a priority, it seems to get done and everything else falls into place, or doesn’t happen and it ends up being okay. 

You know how it is right before you leave on vacation? Things get extra busy those last few days, yet, you get packed and get on the airplane or load the car and leave for the road trip! Because you prioritized it! 

I’m curious? What’s the hardest part of self-care to prioritize when life throws a ton of stuff at you? Is it your sleep? Movement? How you eat/drink? Maybe you cancel your massage, acupuncture and coaching appointments. Hit reply and share it with me!

There’s no need to judge or criticize yourself. Simply notice how you stopped prioritizing your own self-care and make adjustments. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself, no matter what! You aren’t going for perfection. Every moment and every bit of energy you devote to yourself will pay off 10-fold!

Tired of Discipline and Hard Work?

What if you could ditch self-discipline?

What if, buckling down and muscling through isn’t the way?

What if brow-beating yourself isn’t really working?

I know. It’s what we’ve been taught.

“Pull yourself up by your boot-straps.”

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

If we’ve learned anything in 2020, it’s that what used to work, doesn’t work anymore.

We need a new way.

I’ve got the answer. It’s a question actually. A powerful one.

I ask my clients this question when they are exhausted.  

I ask clients when they get stuck with:

·      Ending the cycle of being a “People Pleaser”

·      The business they want to start – or grow.

·      The job they want to leave.

·      The body they want to “improve.”

·      Starting a new relationship that they want to be different than the last one.

“What would love do?”

It seems silly. Like it won’t work.

But let me ask you this? When you have a child or pet who you are teaching a new skill to, or wanting them to do something in a new way, how do you do it? (As the ideal parent or pet-owner that you are most of the time.) J

You lovingly lead them. You show them the way. You speak in a loving voice. You cheer them on for the tiniest accomplishment or improvement. You applaud! You give them treats. You brag about them to friends and family.

You don’t yell at them. Tell them losing three pounds is not nearly enough! That they aren’t trying hard enough. They need to put their head down and work harder! Stop complaining! Then throw in a bunch of punishments and penalties every time they fall after their first few steps or pick a cookie instead of broccoli. You would never do that to your child or pet, or anyone else you love.

But we do it to ourselves, all the time.   

“What would love do?”

We have this idea that the answer will lead to over-indulging, staying on the couch instead of going to work, never getting any exercise, always choosing the cookie over broccoli.

But would it?

The question in NOT, “what would your inner-rebellious teenager do?”

Love wants the best for you. Love says, yes, to things that are loving. Love can say no.

Love wants you to have the life of your dreams.

Love wants you to leave the job or relationship that is not serving you anymore.

Choosing love isn’t always the easiest path.

It’s just the only path that is sustainable.

My calendar is opening for four one-on-one clients right now – one is for you. If you want to learn how to turn self-criticism and self-discipline into self-love, let’s work together. The first step is a free 15-Minute Discovery Call to be sure now is the right time. You’ve got nothing to lose and a lot of love to gain. Book your call here.

Tired of overwhelm and ready for a positive vibe?

With the number of tasks that are on the list to do, EVERYDAY, in each of our lives, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. 

Overwhelm is a natural reaction to either too many things to do and/or feeling like you don’t have all the resources you need to get something done.  

The lack of resources could be time, or something a little less tangible, like, you simply don’t know WHAT to do to solve the problem. Or there are so many problems, it feels insurmountable. 

I know what that’s like and so does my co-host for this week’s Cocktails and Coaching! 

Join me and my amazing co-host Alex Ellis of AE Wellness (IG@hollaformala) on Wednesday, August 19 at 5:00 pm Pacific and 8:00 pm Eastern for a positive vibe and great conversation! 

Alex is a self-proclaimed “body-nerd,” entrepreneur and a “put your money where your mouth is” when it comes to living from a positive vibe instead of overwhelm or pain. Her super-power is helping women get out of pain. She’ll tell you more about it on Wednesday. 

You can ask Alex and me a question on the form on my website, BrendaFlorida.com, grab your drink and let’s get real! 

Everyone experiences overwhelm and everyone wants to live in a positive vibe. 

We’ll give you tips on getting out of overwhelm and we’ll definitely create a positive vibe! You’ll be so glad you came! 

Oh! And don’t forget, it all happens in my private FB Group, Live Lavishly: The Art of Sustainable Transformation. If you aren’t a member, click here and join this cool group of super positive and supportive folks! 

You Deserve a "Yes!"

Summer is nearing its end. 

Did you do the things you wanted to? 

Or are you like most of us, looking back, thinking, “where the hell did summer go?” 

It’s the perfect time to re-group. 

To grab your “yes!” for the summer!

What do you want? What are you longing for? 

·     Sleep

·     Self-care

·     Self-love 

·     To start a project, you’ve been putting off

·     To deal with a relationship or issue that just won’t go away!

This is where I come in. 

That’s my super-power. 

Helping clients find their truth (not mine, not societies, not their spouses, or mother’s) and take action that gives them the, “Yes!” they’ve been longing for. 

What sort of “Yes!” can you expect when you work with me? Good question. 

Here are some examples.

MY CLIENTS HAVE:

• Learned how to stop putting everyone else’s needs ahead of their own so they can finally take care of themselves and pursue their own passions

• Stopped the cycle of shame and pursued an entrepreneurial dream

• Activated confidence, emotionally and sexually, to begin dating, after a relationship ended badly

• Found the blocks that led to overwhelm, and the clarity needed to change their business offerings

• Found the confidence needed to leave a marriage that wasn’t in alignment anymore

• Ended the pattern of getting into romantic relationships that didn’t support them

• Released professional blocks and limiting beliefs that kept her professional performance and income limited which increased her income and status in her company

• Gained the confidence to pursue new employment opportunities after being fired

• Let go of past traumas to pursue the lifestyle, relationships and careers they never felt worthy of

Here’s what one of my recent clients told me after her final session: “I really do feel like a shiny new person Brenda. Thanks be to you always. You have changed my life forever.”

Now, I’d call that a “Yes!”  

Come get yours. 

I’ve got a few spots open for one-on-one clients right now. 

I’d love to talk to you and see if I can help you and if so, how. 

Say, “Yes!” to a 15-minute Discovery Call and we’ll figure it out. Click here to check out my coaching page and schedule your Discovery Call today. 

A miracle at the Beach

The picture doesn’t do it justice.

There were a million people on the beach!

Okay, not a million,, but it was a Saturday, tourist season and hot. I’ve never seen so many people at my favorite beach, La Jolla Shores.

Picture this, I had to park unusually far away. I had a cooler with ice, drinks and food, my beach chair and beach bag. I haul it all down the hill and walk about 3/4 mile to the beach.

It’s almost high tide so the million of us there were pushed back towards the boardwalk. We’re practically sitting on top of each other.

This whole scene may sound terrible to you, but despite all of this, I was sooooo happy to be there!

The beach, under any condition, is my favorite place.

I settle in. Then a group of people down the beach a bit leave, so I move down to take their spot and have a little more room between me and my fellow beach enthusiasts.

I get the clever idea that right before it’s dark, knowing that many of these folks will leave, I’ll leave my chair, cooler and bag on the beach, trek up the hill to my car and bring it down to the beach parking lot so I don’t have to haul all my stuff up the hill!

Aren’t I clever?

Until… it’s almost sunset and I go to get my car keys.

My car keys were gone.

I lost my keys on a beach crowded with people with the tide coming in!!

Immediately I realized the foolish thing I did when I moved to my second location, but it’s hours too late. The tide is higher than where I was originally sitting. Hundreds of people have come and gone.

Yes, I panicked a bit.

How the hell was I going to get in my car? My extra key was in the glove compartment, but how was I supposed to get it? Short of breaking out a window (Yes, I’m thinking about the scene when sexy Patrick Swayze broke his car window in Dirty Dancing, but quickly realize my situation is much less sexy!)

After a few tears and verifying that I did NOT renew my AAA Membership last year… I noticed the light was still on in the lifeguard tower. They had pulled in all their equipment earlier, but there was someone still cleaning up.

I asked this young life guard if anyone turned in a set of keys? He wasn’t sure and said he would go look.

BAM! He came back with my keys!! I burst into tears! I’m not sure I’ve ever been so grateful in my entire life!

Oh! Did I forget to mention the only other key on my keyring is the key to the padlock on my storage POD in PA with everything I own, that isn’t in my car, in it??!!

One moment all my possessions were locked up and the keys were gone. The next minute, I had the keys to everything!

It’s a great metaphor for life. We always have the keys to unlock whatever it is we need. Sometimes we forget we have them or we lose them, temporarily. But, they are always there. Waiting for us to claim them.

Then we can unlock everything that this generous world has for us!

Have you lost your metaphoric keys? I’d love to help you find them. I’m good at it!

The day I almost slapped someone for telling me to be grateful!

You’ve heard it.

“Find something you’re grateful for.”

“Write down three things a day you're grateful for.”

Gratitude has become the end-all, cure-all practically.

When you’re drowning in fear, overwhelm and despair… it’s a little hard to find.

I remember last fall, I was having a very bad day that was part of a very difficult couple of months.

As a coach, and living my life pretty publicly on social media, I am committed to authenticity.

Which gets tough when you’re in an extended crisis.

I want to be real and… who wants to listen to a life coach who’s depressed!?

On this particular day, I was overwhelmed. I couldn’t see any end to my challenges. And this delightful person, whom I love, said the dreaded words… “Find something to be grateful for!”

I wanted to slap her!! (We were on the phone, which saved both of us from knowing if I would have!)

She insisted. That’s the way she is.

After several minutes… I succumbed. I really just wanted to get her off the phone and go back to my despair.

And then, I felt it.

A tiny shift.

Damn it! This gratitude thing works! I had forgotten.

I thought of two or three really simple things. I think the first thing I thought of was, “I’m breathing.” Which lead me to seeing something in the room I was in that I thought was pretty. Which led me to thinking of the person I was staying with and how grateful I was to be staying with her.

And there you have it. It didn’t solve all my problems. I still had a bunch of shit hitting the fan. There still wasn’t any end in sight as far as that shit went, but…

I felt a release.

I felt a little lighter.

My mind calmed down.

And from there I decided what to do next.

I don’t really remember what I did. I might have decided to take a nap, or a shower, or watch inspirational videos on YouTube, but I did something different than drown in my fear.

Damn it. Maybe gratitude is the end-all, cure-all!

Gratitude is one of the many tools we’ll be unpacking and mastering during my four-week coaching program, From Darkness to Light. Instead of wishing hard-times would magically leave, we’re taking them head-on! We’ll stare fear in the fucking face and win.

The mantra for the program is, “There’s no power outside of you greater than the power inside of you!” For those of you in the program, you’ll leave knowing that is true!!

There are only a few spots left, so get the deets and register here.

If you know a friend who needs the tools and support that From Darkness to Light will deliver, please share this email with them so they can join us. There’s no need to navigate the darkness alone. <3

What is your experience with gratitude? If you don’t have one. Try it. Tell me what happens!

How's your anxiety?

Anxiety hits all of us at some point.  

Sometimes it’s hot, heavy and never-ending. 

Sometimes it rushes in, out of nowhere, and grabs us by the throat.

It drives us into fear. Imagining terrible outcomes.

It’s always reminding us of something awful in the past or warning us about something awful in the future.

It masquerades as “helpful.”

As if it’s going to make you extra smart or extra resourceful in order to prevent or circumvent a terrible outcome it is imagining or remembering.

Think about it though.

Is it really helpful?

Does it really help you find your most creative, best possible outcome? Does it bring you to the best version of yourself?  

No.

Our best ideas, our best problem-solving skills come out of a place of peace and love. That’s why we ask friends and family for help when we’re struggling. We know they will think of something we won’t. Because they aren’t in anxiety about the situation.

Would you like to turn down the volume on your anxiety and turn up the volume on peace and love?

Then join me for From Darkness to Light. It’s a four-week, small group, coaching program. I’m only allowing 10 people in the group. It’s for men and women. We’re going to face anxiety head-on with tools and life-hacks that will turn down that volume. You’ll move you towards the peace and love that moves you into better decisions, less stress and into a better version of yourself.

I’ve priced it at a super reasonable $99. Get all the deets here and register. It won’t be a mistake, I promise. Your anxiety might not like it, but isn’t that the point??? <3 <3

When Life Throws Sh*t at you... I'll show you a way out!

I love inspiring stories!

Especially the rags to riches kind.

When my life is in turmoil, when I'm struggling to get up and keep going, I wonder, how did they get through those bad days?

When great people tell their story and include the adversity they've overcome, we're inspired. But they rarely talk about how they got up every day and went to work or took care of the kids, when they were drowning in despair and hopelessness.

I've had a lot of ups and downs in my life. Times when I wasn't sure how to go on. But, I had to keep going. Life keeps moving. So I did too.

Over the course of my life, I've gotten better at how I navigate those times when I'm not sure I can keep going. I do it with less fear. Less anxiety. I've even learned how to cultivate peace and self-love, BECAUSE things were so hard, not despite the difficulty.

Since becoming a life coach I've had several conversations with other coaches about these, dark nights of the soul, and how few coaches, books or programs really address how to navigate a really terrible time. Everyone agreed with me. "Yeah, no one really talks much about it."

I decided to create it. The program that will show you how.

From Darkness to Light is a four-week group coaching program. We'll meet for an hour a week via free video conferencing.

I'm going to teach and coach. The group will support and encourage each other.

Everyone will get down-to-earth tools to get through the day, when the day is shitty.

If you, or someone you know, is experiencing a difficult time, please join us.

I'm only charging $99 because I know that difficult times often hit your finances.

Get all the details below and register for our May group. All sessions are recorded.

You can move From Darkness to Light. I've done it, I'll be your guide.

The Dreaded "Dark Night of the Soul"

A ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ is when you’re drowning in difficult circumstances.

When the things that used to work, when life served you lemons, don’t work.

You can’t figure out how to make lemonade out of this.

Is there something wrong?

It’s easy to drop into all the disempowering questions, like, “what am I doing wrong?” “What’s wrong with me?” “Why does life have to be so hard?”

Equally easy is what I call, compare and despair. That’s when it seems like everyone you encounter is thriving in the area(s) of life you’re being challenged in. Which brings up thoughts like, “How come they can do it/get it and I can’t?” Which usually takes us right back to “What’s wrong with me?”

Every great person I admire has had at least one dark night of the soul. But we hear their stories after they are on the other side. Eckhart Tolle and the two years he lived on a park bench before writing “The Power of Now” and became a wealthy world-famous author and spiritual leader.

Oprah and her years of poverty, abuse and so much more, before becoming a celebrated talk-show host and billionaire.

How did they navigate those years, living on a park bench, in poverty, abused?

And how do I consciously navigate and get through my dark night of the soul?

I don’t want to be a victim. I want to figure out what is here for me in this dark time.   

A dark night of the soul becomes a great part of our story, when we’re on the other side, we have evolved to the next level of our journey.

After a dark night of the soul, something better, bigger, brighter emerges.

That’s why they are “worth it.”

Why I don’t want to numb-out or runaway when one enters my life.

When my dark night of the soul hits, I endeavor to embrace it and ask empowering questions, “what is wanting to emerge in me now?” “What is the next highest expression of myself and who do I need to become in order to live it?”

When you’re swimming in fear, anxiety, despair and all you can imagine are terrible futures; the one where you run out of money, or get a bad diagnosis, lose the relationship, end up a bag lady or live on the street, it’s really hard to keep a vision of the “next-best” version of yourself and your life.

I know. I’ve been there. So,

I’m creating a life-raft.

It’s the life-raft I needed.

So, you can stop drowning in the downward spiral of anxiety and catastrophe driven thoughts.

I’ve been collecting tools and strategies for years.

I’m calling it, “From Darkness to Light.”

It’s a four-week group coaching program, for men and women.. I’m pricing it super-easy, because I know that sometimes, a dark night of the soul hits your bank account and I want you to have the tools and experience the support you’ll get when you join the program.

I want you to go. From Darkness to Light.

Email me and let me know that you’re interested. No one but me will see the email.

I’ll open registration later this week.

I love you and want you to go from darkness to light. It’s possible. You don’t have to do it alone.

The Best Things In Life

It's been an exciting couple of weeks! 

I've added another entrepreneur as a client. Like my other creative entrepreneur clients, she's a powerhouse of talent... and she knows she needs someone to keep her business organized and create a clear path for how to offer her services to her clients in ways that are effective and make her more profitable. 

Yes! Profit! I'm not ashamed to talk about profit and I unashamedly help all my clients make more money! Not just increase sales, but be more profitable. There's a difference. My clients become more profitable. 

Do you know what one of the biggest factors is to profitability? No matter what your business or career is? (Yep. This is for everyone, whether you work for someone else or own their own business)​ It's...

Mindset! 

​Every business client I have will get coaching from me. We can employ master strategies, amazing sales funnels and have an enviable social media presence, and if our mindset is in scarcity, lack, wanting, telling us we aren't good enough, or don't have enough time, we're screwed. 

I've seen mindset ruin the best strategies, the best marketing, the best social media influence. 

You can't escape your mindset, so it's best to accept that and take the action necessary to neutralize the critical and diminishing thoughts we have and replace them with empowering and liberating thoughts. 

Easier said than done, right?

The best things in life usually are. But have no fear. I am here. 

​This is what I do all day, every day. With my business clients, my life coach clients and myself. 

We learn how to become aware of the thoughts that cause resistance, stress and self-deprecation. Then we slay them. If they rear their ugly heads, we slay them again, until they are gone. 

We celebrate the freedom we are liberated to with each victory, large or small! 

In short, we Think Our Way to Success. 

I created a cool video program, Think Your Way to Success, so that you, and everyone who wants to liberate themselves from their stressful, deprecating thoughts, has a system for doing it. You can "do it yourself" with the program or you can get the program and then book a one-on-one private coaching session with me so we can work on your thoughts. I love a good DIY solution, but let's face it, we all need a little help. You'll go so much deeper with the Think Your Way to Success process if you have a private session and have me coach you through the steps. 

Just say No...

​To your stressful, self-deprecating thoughts and Think Your Way to Success! Check it out and get it delivered to your inbox in minutes by clicking here. 

To add coaching go to my scheduler and book your first session, by clicking here. I'll send you an invoice. Right now, when you buy Think Your Way to Success you can get one session for $150. 

Let's do it! 

OK. Enough with the cliches. This program works. Treat yourself. You've earned your liberation! 

Have you ever gotten yourself into a pickle?

I love that southern expression, "I'm in a real pickle!" 

You might be in a pickle if you wreck your car, lose your job, your bank account drops dangerously low, you just broke up with you boyfriend/girlfriend, are getting divorced, or any number of things that suck. 

Here's the deal. 

It's easy to get self-critical and judgmental when we're in a pickle. 

"Why didn't I see that coming?" 

"Why didn't I do something different along the way?" 

"I always mess up my _________ (fill in the blank with your favorite answer; job, relationship, finances, etc.)"

"I must have done something wrong or this wouldn't have happened." (My personal favorite.)

I was coaching a client recently who said one of these to me about her life. As always, it stops me dead in my tracks. 

I mean, do we really think it's possible to do everything right so we never get in a pickle? 

I don't want to burst your bubble, but it's not possible. 

And...you didn't do anything wrong and you don't alway screw-up anything. Sure, we have patterns and lessons to learn. That's fine. Those thoughts aren't as stressful as the ones I'm talking about.

The thoughts I'm talking about are the ones that cut you to your core. That judge you and leave you feeling in lack, or less than, or not good enough. Those thoughts are always a lie. 

You are a gorgeous human being. Human beings are not perfect. Humans beings live in a world that isn't perfect. That means....

Sometimes, you get in a pickle. And that's okay. Don't judge yourself. Learn your lesson, if there is one, and move on. Love yourself enough to know, there will always be another pickle. It's part of the journey. 

Navigating Life's Transitions

Do you hate change?

I hear this so often as a life coach. There are plenty of folks who hate change. And yet...nothing that grows is stagnant. It seems to me like change is a pretty good thing! I sure as hell don't want to be stagnant. That's not living lavishly to me.

How can we leverage life's transitions?

Our thoughts are the predictors of how stressful our transitions and life changes will feel to us. Today I've got a great demonstration of the power of your thoughts to create joy or stress and how you can use this Life Coach tool to change how stressful your next transition.

Try it out and tell me how it worked for you!

Get videos and other cool  stuff to Live Lavishly every day right here.

What do we do When Life Sucks?

Yes, that's today's question. What do we do when life sucks?

None of us are immune to difficult times. It may be a stressful time at work, in your business, in your relationship or with family, whatever the difficulty is, we all have times where it feels like life sucks. So what do we do about that?

Allow, allow, allow

What if, instead of judging ourselves or criticizing life, others, our spouse, our boss, politics, whatever it is we want to blame for why life sucks...we allowed ourselves to feel what we feel? How would that work?

In today's video I'll explore the power of allowing your feelings without resistance and give you some tips for how to practice the art of allowing. It may sound passive...but it's not! It's incredibly empowering!