Personal Growth

Are you Decision Fatigued?

Do you feel bombarded with decisions? Big and small you get a lot thrown at you every day. 

When we are in decision fatigue we tend to put off making decisions. 

Sometimes you make the decision, then second-guess yourself. 

Here’s the crazy truth of it: you actually know exactly what you need to decide. The answer, without second guessing, is inside of you. 

Take the decision about whether to attend the Say Yes Luxury Retreat I’m hosting in Huntington Beach. You could easily have this quiet voice inside you telling you to sign up. That voice knows that you  need a break. That you need some pampering and some coaching in a fun and relaxing environment with some like-minded women. We’re talking sacred space, food, fun, beach, sunshine… all the things! 

Even though that quiet voice is saying, “Register now! Do it.” There is another voice, that is much louder shouting at you that you can’t take the time for yourself, can’t spend the money, your family can’t do without you, the office can’t, or any other form of blah, blah, blah. 

That blah, blah, blah voice is loud. It likes to drown out the quiet one, which is why it wins so often. 

But the truth is in the quiet voice. That quiet voice is your inner wisdom. And it always knows, and it’s always telling you what is in your highest good. 

So, whether it’s the retreat… Registration ends on June 1st and there are only 1 or maybe 2 spots left,.. Or another decision you need to make, listen to that quet voice… and follow it. 

You won’t regret it! 

Get all the retreat deets HERE

In Liberation, 

Brenda 

PS, if you aren’t sure if the retreat is right for you, or you have a question about working with me, just hit reply. I’d love to hear from you

Let me know if you want this!

Have you ever wondered what a coaching session with me would do for you? 

Here’s your chance to find out! 

I’m giving away 3 Coaching Sessions!

 

If you:

  • Feel overworked and underappreciated

  • Have a decision coming up you don’t have clarity on

  • Realize Imposter Syndrome has you second-guessing yourself at work or in your business

  • Don’t feel seen and heard in your relationship

  • Want to have the courage to start dating

  • Or feel stuck or overwhelmed about something 

This is for you! 

I’ve coached clients with issues just like those, and tons more, into finding their own answers, their own power, confidence, clarity and self-love. 

All you need to do is complete this simple form. It will only take a few minutes, and tell me what’s got you stuck, angry, second guessing yourself, feeling overwhelmed… whatever it is. 

I’ll be drawing the names of 3 lucky winners in a few days, so don’t wait. Complete the Curious about Coaching form to enter the drawing. 

You’re going to love how you feel after our session! 

Do it for your sanity!

Louise was ready to lose her mind! Between the kids, her demanding coaching practice and her aging parents who seemed to have constant needs, she hadn’t had a moment to herself in agents. Don’t get me wrong, she loved her kids, business and parents! She even felt guilty for being honest about her frustration and… even anger at everyone in her life who seemed to constantly need her. 

After a little coaching Louise realized she was over-giving again. It’s an easy habit for her to drop into as a people pleaser. She’s working with me to help her break those habits so that’s exactly what she did. 

She cleared some time on her calendar and made herself unavailable to clients, kids, her parents, she got the help she needed with her parents and kids and she took a well deserved break. She left town for a few days, something else I had suggested, because when we change our environment and routine so much space opens up! So many possibilities suddenly seem possible! And we can rest. Really rest. 

I invite you to do the same. Join me in Huntington Beach, CA for a luxury retreat for 4 women. Join our sacred space, sunshine, fab food and a well deserved break! You’ll have the breakthrough you’ve been waiting for! 

ONLY 2 SPOTS LEFT! Get all the deets and grab your spot HERE

Do You Need Some TLC?

We all need a little TLC! 

Not everyone had a nurturing mother who always knew the right things to say. Who would comfort and love us no matter what. 

That's OK. 

In today's episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I'll show you how to ALWAYS get the TLC you crave! 

Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

This was so embarrassing!

I was leaving the gym one evening after spin class and after getting home I realized I had my shirt on inside-out! I was embarrassed, but I rationalized that not very many people saw me! 


Then it hit me, that’s what it’s like being a people pleaser! It’s like wearing your clothes inside-out. 


There’s nothing wrong with people pleasing or wearing your clothes inside-out. But when you turn your natural gifts and talent to yourself first, then give to others, it’s like wearing your clothes right-side-out. It’s what they were meant for. Their beauty is easier to see. 


You see, people pleasing is simply a habit of being so focused on other’s needs, feelings and preferences that they become more important than our own. It’s like unbridled empathy. These are beautiful gifts you naturally possess, intuition, generosity, having a benevolent heart and mind. 


When we’re in the habit of people pleasing we use those gifts almost exclusively on others. For the benefit of others. Even at the expense of ourselves. 


Let’s turn that around. Use that intuition, generosity and benevolent heart for yourself, then give to others out of the overflow! 


If you like that idea, but can’t figure out how you’d actually do it. No problem! 


That’s one of my gifts. Liberating others from the habit of people pleasing. Or, as we might say today, my gift is helping others turn their clothes right-side-out! 


I have a handful of spots open for one-on-one coaching right now. If you’re curious about working with me, complete a quick questionnaire HERE. Trust me, it feels so good to wear your clothes right-side-out, you’ll be thrilled you did it! 

The ultimate escape!

My client was sitting in her car, exhausted and overwhelmed. She knew she should stop and get groceries on the way home but she couldn’t bear the thought of one more thing to do!


But, the groceries needed to be bought, so she stopped anyway. 


I bet you know exactly how my client felt! 


I’m here to tell you, as would my client, that there is another way! Back then she didn’t know how to do things differently. Today, she does. 


There’s nothing better than an immersive retreat to light a fire (a good one!) under your transformation! 


Today, I am inviting you to be one of the four women who will choose themselves and join me in Huntington Beach for a luxury retreat in September. 


Registration is extremely limited so don’t wait. These spots will go quickly. 


You deserve the time and space to figure out what you want to say yes to and what you might need to say no to in order to honor those yeses! You don’t have to do it alone. You can do it in a gorgeous and sacred space where everything is taken care of for you. 


No errands to run, no groceries to buy, I’ll take care of everything from picking you up at the airport to wining and dining you in the beautiful home we’ll be in! 


You’ll have the coaching you need, the time, the space and the community that you need. It’s a glorious way to accelerate your transformation. 


Get all the delightful details and grab your spot HERE! The bedrooms are selected on a first come first serve basis so… Say Yes! I can’t wait to be with you at the Say Yes Luxury Retreat!

Why We Do What We Do - An Interview with Miranda Mitchell

Have you ever heard of Human Design? 

The concept of Human Design has recently dominated the health and wellness industry as more people discover how their type can help them better align themselves and how they operate in the world. 

The world floods us with messages about who we should be in order to survive and thrive in this world – but Human Design teaches that there are different styles in how we operate in the world.. In Fact, Human Design is here to help you recognise your innate gifts and traits, so that you can be who you truly came here to be - which is the most effortless road to living your dream life.

Our Human Design helps us understand the way we energetically interact with the world around us and creates a deeper understanding into our unique genetic makeup and best ways to use our energy and resources.

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep & discuss this topic with my guest, Miranda Mitchell. Miranda is an Energetic Alignment Coach & Human Design Specialist. She helps industry leaders step into a higher potential of your creative power so that they can create more impact with sustainability and ease through the lens of Human Design and your unique chart.

 What you will discover:

- What is Human Design? 

- What are the types of human design? And how many types are there?

- Who are the projectors?

- What is color vs. while spaces in a Human Design Chart?

And much more… Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

The danger of empathy

I love being a guest on other podcasts. Yes, I love recording my own weekly episode for Liberate Your People Pleaser (if you haven’t caught one lately, I’d love for you to listen. Just click this link.


Today I wanted to share what was one of my favorite episodes on another host’s podcast. 


Bindi Heit hosts the Ethical Evolution Podcast and we spoke a couple of weeks ago. We got into a lot of juicy topics like: 


  • When empathy goes wrong

  • How comparison triggers, “not good enough”

  • What happens when we try to be someone other than who we truly are

  • How to give ourselves permission to be our authentic selves


I hope you’ll listen to the episode and tell me what you think? Was there one specific take-away you got from the episode? 


Listen to the episode HERE


I can’t wait to hear! 

If only…

What do you do when you're stuck in worry, fear and even anxiety, thinking how much better your life would be if only…


  • I had more money.


  • My lover would see and hear me. 


  • My boss and coworkers valued all the extra effort I put in. 


  • My family appreciated me. 


  • I wasn’t obligated to that fundraiser or community event. 


If I didn’t hit your “if only” hot button, feel free to add it! 


Notice, these are all external conditions that feel like they’ve taken over. 


You feel like there’s nothing you can do about it. 


  • Money doesn’t grow on trees. 


  • People are depending on you. 


  • You’ve tried to tell your lover how you feel and it’s like talking to a brick wall. 


What can you do? 


Every time you feel like someone or something is in control of any part of your life, there’s been a loss of power. That person or condition feels like it has more power than you do. 


How do I know that? Because I’ve done it a million times! And because when we are owning our power we don’t feel like we are being controlled. We don’t feel stuck. We don’t feel trapped. 


We may have difficult decisions to make. Boundaries to set. Personal mindset work that needs to be done. Emotional work that needs to be done. Spiritual work that  needs to be done. 


All of those things are in our power. They put us in charge of our own lives. 


In one way or another, every client I coach is learning how to own their power in every situation and every relationship in their lives. That’s why their results are so liberating! 

I’m opening up my calendar right now for 3 people who want to own their power and enjoy the sweet liberation that comes with it! You can book your 15-Minute Connection Call HERE. During that call will talk about your situation and a solution that is unique to you! 


I’ve coached clients who have been liberated from emotionally abusive relationships, careers that no longer suit them, feeling limited because of their finances, toxic friendships, relatives that were taking advantage of them, businesses that were controlling their lives and stress that controlled every aspect of their lives. 


You deserve liberation! Let’s see if it’s time for you to be one of my 3 new clients! Book your call HERE.

Did this happen to you?

Did you get kicked in the butt the last few weeks? 


I have a lot of clients and friends who had all kinds of difficult things happen after the beginning of the year. Things like: 


  • Relationship stress and drama. At home, at work, even friends. There was a lot of angst and anxiety in the air.

  • Feeling stuck over making decisions. From sending divorce papers to asking for help on a project at work. Lots of folks felt stuck. 

  • Obsessively thinking about disappointing situations and circumstances, some related to money, others related to jobs and relationships… negative thoughts, imagining bad outcomes, it was all coming in fast and furiously! Which lead to downward spirals of self-criticism and shame.


I LOVE coaching clients out of drama, stress, overwhelm, obsessive thinking, feeling stuck and angst! So I wonder…


How have your last few weeks gone? Maybe you were in the easy peasy crowd. But, if you weren’t I’d love to hear from you. Hit reply  and tell me about it. I’ll give you a quick tip or some feedback. 


I am also opening my calendar for 3 new coaching clients! I’ve only got 3 spots right now, so book your 15-minute call and we’ll see if the time is right for you and if I’m the right coach for you. 


Don’t stay stuck. Don’t stay overwhelmed, angsty or frustrated. There’s always a way out. 


Book your 15-Minute Connection Call HERE and we’ll find your way out. 

Can Being a People Pleaser Prevent You From Getting a Promotion?

We all want to achieve our career goals, but being a ‘people pleaser’ may not help you reach your potential. It can actually de-value your skills, create more stress, leave you feeling unhappy at work and you’re often overlooked for promotions.

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and discuss this topic with our today's guest Stacey Mayer. Stacy is a promotion strategist who helps powerhouse women leaders get promoted into senior executive leadership roles on their terms. Her vision is to bring more diversity to the leadership table by empowering women to take ownership of their careers so they will have a real voice at the table.

What you’ll Learn:

- Why "People Pleasers" Don't Get Promoted?

- What are the costs of people-pleasing in the workplace?

- Why is internal validation much more important than external validation?

And much more… Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

Does this happen to you?

Do the darker, colder days of winter seem to zap your energy? 


Is it harder to stay motivated? 


Is it harder to keep yourself from drifting into cold and dark places in your mind? 


When you’re sitting in the dark do you find yourself asking, what did I do wrong? Why are these difficult things happening to me? When will things get easier? 


Whatever the challenge, or even despair is, I promise you, asking questions that  start with “Why?” and “When?” rarely help. 


In fact, they will lead you into a long tunnel of self-judgment and blame. They are dis-empowering questions. 


Try this instead, first, turn the lights on! Literally and figuratively. Anything that will add more literal light and will lighten your mood. Grab your cat or put on uplifting music. Whatever it  takes. 


Then, start by making a list of 10 things you are grateful for, including things about yourself. Things you’ve done, awesome decisions you’ve made, lovely relationships you have, the things in your life you love and appreciate. Make a list of 20 or 30 if you want. Once you get started on your list, your “Why” and “When” questions may disappear into the ethers by themselves. If they do, don’t call them back! Let them go! 


Once your surroundings and mood are lighter and your gratitude list long, ask yourself, “How could this be for my ultimate benefit?” or my favorite, “What is seeking to emerge?” Those are empowering questions. 


We can look back on the most horrific things and see how they benefited us, how they shaped the spectacular people we are today. No need to wait for hindsight. Brainstorm. How can you benefit from what’s going on? Or, who is it helping you become? I can tell you, it’s helping you become the next highest expression of yourself! 


You are brilliant and glorious. There’s no one like you! Nothing is wrong with you. Everyone has shit happen. Everyone makes shit decisions from time to time. 


The universe has a beautiful way of turning all into gold for our future self. 

I was lying to myself…

My entire life I have told myself I am not athletic. Along with all the things that go along with that. So, I don’t like to exercise, I don’t like to go hiking, I don’t want to try new things that are physical, I don’t participate in community recreational activities, etc. 


Why did I tell myself that? Why did I believe it? I don’t even know. I don’t remember a gym teacher shaming me or telling me I sucked at gymnastics or anything else I tried. I even won some regional track meet ribbons. I crushed my opponents in tetherball being the tallest 5th grader around. As a teenager I easily learned to ice skate and ski since we lived in the mountains of Colorado. I was a particularly good skier. 


Still… the thought in my own head, the “story” I had, that I wasn’t athletic, remained. Despite mounting evidence that it wasn’t true. 


That’s how the mind works. Once we’ve told ourselves (or heard from others) the same things over and over. Boom. It becomes a belief. We believe it’s true. Even if it’s not. 


About a month ago, it hit me. I might be athletic. I don’t think it’s true that I’m not athletic. 


All of a sudden, I wanted to try a spin class.  I wanted to join a gym to get the support, encouragement and accountability I WANTED. That's an important distinction. I wanted the support, encouragement and accountability because now I’m doing something new that I WANT to do! It’s not something I’m MAKING myself do because I’m SUPPOSED TO. Yuk! I hate those words… supposed to. 


It’s so much easier to take action that supports us when we are in alignment with what’s true instead of a lie we believe is true. 


What have you believed that may not be true? Tell me! I can’t wait to hear about it! You don’t even have to know for sure that it’s not true. Just consider it. What if… 

You Are Brilliant! Here’s why…

You are a unique human being. There is no one like you. There never was and never will be again. 


Every skill, talent and gift you have needs to be expressed. Otherwise, the world will miss out on it. Because NO ONE will ever do it -  or be it - exactly the way you will. 


That’s what I call your Brilliance. It’s that magical combination that makes you, you. 


I want all of us to own our brilliance. It took me a long time to do it.


I thought I was being arrogant if I said I was good at stuff. “Pride cometh before a fall” is a message I heard all my life. 


I’m over it. That was a lie. It’s not arrogant to know and say what you’re good at! 


So, I want to hear what you’re really good at. It might be a skill or talent, like you’re a great cook or singer, you play the banjo or can train dogs. Make a list of the things you’re good at! 


I also want to hear about who you are that is part of your brilliance. Are you empathetic, thoughtful, easily grateful, an optimist, encourager, loving, helpful, or something else that is lovely! Those things are as important as the tangible skills, talents and gifts we have. Make a list of the lovely qualities of who you are too! 


The world desperately needs for all of us to Own Our Brilliance!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

It’s a question we ask kids all the time. 


I wonder, when was the last time you asked yourself that question? 


I ask it myself frequently. Who do I want to be? Because “growing up” is a continual process. And who I used to be is nothing like who I am now. 


Who we have been does not determine who we CAN be. 


I used to be a rigid, and while I hate to admit it, a judgmental evangelical Christian. Of course not all Christians are like I was but I was the kind who told you that you were going to hell unless you “asked Jesus into your heart.” I believed, without question, that everyone who believed differently than what my church preached as “the Truth” was going to hell. 


I used to believe all sex outside of marriage was a sin. 


I used to believe as a woman, I had less value than a man. 


I used to believe it was my job to support, serve and care for everyone around me, without complaint and without even thinking about my own needs, because, after all, they were second, third or even farther down the list of priorities. Smile and serve. 


I used to believe that if I happened to think I was good at something, that was arrogant and being arrogant was shameful. So, if I did manage to feel good about something I did or a talent I had, I would immediately feel bad because I had felt good. 


I am happy to say, I do not believe ANY of those things anymore. 


It was a long hard road for me. Almost everything I have become was counter to what I was raised with. But somewhere along the way I understood, if I didn’t start prioritizing myself and choosing situations, work and relationships that valued me and honored me, I would die. 


That may sound dramatic but if you’ve given yourself to others, on an ongoing basis at your own expense, you know what I mean. It’s exhausting and you begin to lose yourself to the extent that you feel invisible - which is very much a death. A death of your inner being. 


Today I turn 61 years old and I’m still asking, who do I want to be when I grow up? Because for me, the trajectory of growth is never ending. Not in an exhausting way, in an exhilarating way! 


And I know the secret to me becoming an even higher expression in myself is about being willing to let go of old beliefs and thoughts that limit me.  That’s why I love coaching. With every client, in a way that is unique for them, I coach them into releasing their old beliefs and thoughts that limit and diminish them and claim the magnificent being that they truly are! 


I’d love to chat with you about working with me. Use this link: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11249251&appointmentType=8395116 to book a call and we'll talk.

New Year! New You! But how?

The Solve It Method™ is a coaching process I created for people who are ready to bring new experiences and new ways of being into their lives. 


Powerful ways of being. Powerful experiences. 


People ask me how The Solve It Method™ works. 


I love that question! 


I’m so excited about the easy-to-follow process it provides! Now, there’s even a digital program so you can learn to use it in the comfort of your own home! Get more info about it HERE


It’s a simple concept really, as so many profound things are. You look at the problem, frustration, challenge, place you're stuck, etc. through four lenses. They are: 


  • Desire

  • Thoughts 

  • Feelings 

  • Action


The order you use them in isn’t important. The “problem” itself might give you a logical starting place, but you’ll look at it through all four. Which is why it’s so effective. 


As you go through each of the four you start to notice what’s really creating the problem, that way you know how to solve it. 


For example, let's say you want to get a new job. You’re bored with yours and you know you can do better. The “problem” is you’re procrastinating on updating your resume. What’s that about? You kick yourself, spiral into some self-criticism and promise yourself you’ll do it tomorrow. But… you don’t. 


I put “problem” in quotes because the longer I coach and the more I grow personally the more I know that the things that feel like problems are actually like our wise self raisting a red flag and saying, “Hey, Brenda, there’s something for you to look at!” So I’m beginning to love my problems. 


Back to the “problem.” When we have a problem about not taking action or the action we’re taking isn’t working I usually start with desire, then move to thoughts. Either we don’t really have a desire for it, it’s someone else's desire that they want us to get onboard with, but we’re not, or we’ve outgrown one of our desires and haven’t realized it. To keep it simple, let's say our hero does truly and sincerely want a new job. Something she can sink her teeth into, grow and feel accomplished in. Great. Desire is in alignment. 


Now let’s go to our hero's thoughts. In everyone I’ve coached, in every situation, including a bunch of my own, our if desire is in alignment, our thoughts are the culprit. This is where imposter syndrome comes from. It’s where our limiting beliefs come from. Look at your thoughts and you’ll find at least one if not a cluster of thoughts like, “I don’t deserve it.” “I’m not good enough.” “I’m probably not qualified for the kind of job I really want.” 


Once those thoughts are dismantled, the action gets easier. (I give you tools for dismantling thoughts in the digital program.)


Feelings. What role do they play? On the difficult side they belly up to those critical and shaming thoughts and you feel discouraged and hopeless. But the wonderful news is, you can also use your feelings as an ally. Instead of feeling discouraged and hopeless, what would help you get excited about updating your resume? The feelings of accomplishment, possibility, the expectation of something great. You can choose to focus on those empowering thoughts and that will get your butt at the computer to update that resume! 


Action then takes care of itself because your desires, thoughts and feelings are congruent or in alignment. Your action becomes congruent and in alignment. 


Problem solved!  


While it’s an easy and super effective process, naturally, on your own “problem” it can feel more complex and tricky. So, I created The Solve It Method™ Digital Program for you and right now, there’s a super special price on adding three private coaching sessions to it! It’s a bargain. 


Check it out and let me know if you have any questions or wonder if it will help with your specific “problem.” That’s what I’m here for!