From Trials to Triumphs! + A Gift for You!

Today, on It's Your Turn, I will share more of my story than most people have heard,  and the insights I’ve gained from overcoming some of life’s toughest challenges.

From facing layoffs, navigating through abusive relationships, to rebuilding my life from financial struggles and homelessness, I’ve learned the importance of addressing our subconscious patterns and the challenges they bring into our lives.

In today’s episode, I want to dive deep into some of the key moments and decisions that have shaped my journey. Here are a few topics we’ll explore:

• The Early Struggles: How my early marriage difficulties and career challenges set the stage for my personal and professional transformation.

• Overcoming Emotional Abuse: The journey through emotionally abusive relationships and the lessons learned about self-worth and resilience.

• Financial Independence: The steps I took to rebuild my career and achieve financial independence, emphasizing the importance of recognizing and changing life patterns.

• The Value of Support: How seeking support and coaching can uncover underlying issues and spark meaningful change in our lives.

Through sharing my story, I hope to inspire you to take a closer look at your own life patterns and challenges. Remember, it’s not just about overcoming adversity; it’s about transforming your life through self-awareness and intentional action.

If today’s episode resonates with you, I encourage you to share it with a friend who might also need to hear this message. Sometimes, the most powerful transformations begin with a simple act of sharing and support.


Listen to today's episode HERE.

And remember, I’m here to help. In today's episode I am offering a FREE COACHING SESSION for those who are ready to take the first step towards personal transformation. Together, we can unlock the doors to a brighter, more fulfilling future.

To book your free session, click HERE. 

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Until next time, remember - it’s your turn to make a change.

If this episode resonated with you, I urge you to share it with a friend who needs to hear it. Sometimes, the first step towards empowerment is realizing you’re not alone in your journey. Let’s support each other in reclaiming our power and living life on our own terms

It’s your turn, and it’s time to embrace it.

Empathy or Enmeshment? Can you tell?

Many people identify as empaths. They will describe it as “I feel what others feel.” 

They also often share how challenging and exhausting it is. 

In today’s episode of Uncover and Elevate I am going to describe to you the difference between empathy and enmeshment, because often, what people label as empathy is actually enmeshment. 

Enmeshment is exhausting. 

Empathy cultivates compassion and intimacy, not exhaustion. 

I’ll break it all down in the episode. You can listen HERE. 

I’d love to get your feedback on my distinctions between the two. 

What questions did the episode bring up for you?  

What relationships do you have that might be sliding on the scale into enmeshment instead of healthy empathy? 

As always, leave a comment or DM me and let me know. 

Please share this episode on social and tag me! Then I’d love for you to post a 5 Start Review wherever you get your podcasts. It makes such a big difference and will help others find the show. I’ll be incredibly grateful!

Saying No To Your Boundaries

Boundaries help us take care of ourselves by giving us permission to say NO to things. Without boundaries, we feel depleted, taken advantage of, taken for granted, or intruded upon. But what happens when we say no to our own boundaries?

Today am sharing some examples and real life experiences in context to our today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser, and I’m gonna also dig deeper and answer some very important questions:

- What happens when we say “NO” to our boundaries?

- Why You Shouldn't Always Put Others First ?

And much more.. Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

Powerful Holiday Boundaries

The holiday season can be the most wonderful time of the year, a bright time for celebration and reflection, for connecting with family and friends, and for loving one another. It can also be a time of stress and overwhelm if some family members didn’t get that “good tidings” memo, or if you just need some extra TLC. Either way, in addition to those beautifully wrapped presents, your holiday will be more joyful if you remember to bring this very important thing: And that is BOUNDARIES!

Setting boundaries among family members can be doubly challenging. Boundaries are the key to protecting your mental health and guarding your wellbeing. If you struggle with asserting boundaries or just need some prompts to get you started, then this Episode is for you!

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some  very important questions regarding today’s topic:

How to set boundaries with family over the holidays?

how to leverage gratitude for your benefit

Why don't affirmations often work?

Why is gratitude working better than affirmations?

And much more…Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

What Can You Do About Your Mother?

I’m a mother, so this isn’t a “let's blame the mothers episode.” And… the truth is most of us have been challenged with setting boundaries with our mothers and knowing how to handle situations that upset them. I know I have! 

There’s a good reason for that. For many of us, it was our relationship with our mother, or other primary caregiver that set our people-pleasing habits into motion. 

It can be a challenge to recreate our relationship from one of parent - child to parent-empowered individual. It’s possible to have empathy for your parents and know that they did the best they could to raise us, and have empathy towards yourself for the ways your childhood was difficult or painful to you. 

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I outline the process that you can use to look at the relationship with your mother, question it, and do a reset to create the exact relationship that you want with her as an adult.

Listen to today’s episode HERE.

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

How to Set a Boundary With a Difficult Person

Setting healthy boundaries with difficult people can be, well, difficult.

We all have at least one person in our life: the over-sharer, the over-asker, the over-stepper. Maybe they come over unannounced. Maybe they borrow things but rarely return them. Maybe they push relentlessly to turn your "no" into a "yes." They are boundary-crossers — and believe it or not, you do have the power to stop them.

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some  very important question regarding today’ topic:

How to Set Boundaries with Difficult People?

How do you know if you need to set boundaries with someone?

How does setting boundaries benefit you?

What is the knowing and doing gap? 

And much more.. Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

Put Yourself at the Top of Your List

Growing up we were often taught that being selfless is better than being selfish. But there’s a huge difference between being selfish and taking care of yourself. Overwhelm will often kick in when we’re running around taking care of everybody else, and haven’t stopped and considered what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

Because putting the happiness and well being of others before our own wants and needs is a formula for exhaustion, overwhelm and burn-out. We cannot be our best selves living our best lives if we constantly put others before ourselves.

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some  very important question regarding today’ topic:

Why do you need to put Yourself at the Top of Your List?

How to drop the habits of people-pleasing?

How to stop prioritizing other people over yourself without being selfish?

How to Start Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Your Needs?

And much more.. Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

The One Thing We All Have In Common│ An Interview with Jeff Le

You know what is the one thing we all have in common?

TRYING TO FIT IN!

We’re all born with this innate desire to be accepted. To fit in. We want people to like us, and one of the safest ways to do that is to blend in, to be like them. We have all been in this place at one time or another, making desperate attempts to please family, friends, or the culture we live in and being frightened to be authentic.. Trying to fit in doesn't make you a bad person, but there is a price to pay when we hide our true selves.

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep on this topic with my guest, Jeffrey Le. He is a Executive Public Policy Storyteller, Convener & Translator of Technology, Innovation, & Economic Security, and today we are going to answer some very important questions including:

What’s the one thing we all have in common?

What is the cost of trying to fit in?

How do I stop worrying about fitting in?

And much more.. Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

Are You Empowered or Exhausted?

It’s “Back to School” time and in many US states and places around the world, kids are going back to school the old fashioned way… face-to-face. 

Whew! Moms out there everywhere (and Dads)… you made it! (Assuming everyone stays healthy and restrictions don’t tighten sending the kiddos back home!)

Whether you have any kids in school or not, let’s face it, the last year or so has been a dooooooosy! 

I wonder, are you feeling exhausted by it all or empowered? Just because we’re empowered doesn’t mean we don’t get tired, so when I say “exhausted” I mean it in that, totally spent, hanging-on-by-a thread way. 

I know a lot of folks that feel that way. I feel it at times. It’s like I hit a wall and I can’t do any more. Or I have the thought, “I just can’t take one more thing!” 

A client said that to me this week, “I just can’t take another disappointment!” 

If you can relate, I’m here for you in this. 

Here’s the deal. You can take one more thing. One more disappointment. One more set-back. I hope you don’t have one, but I promise, there’s an empowered you that can take it and take it all. 

When we feel like that empowered version of ourself has vacated the premises, what do we do? 

1. You respond to yourself in love, not self-criticism or blaming others. There’s NO power in blame, so while it is empowering to hold someone accountable - I’m a big fan of that! - blame is an entirely different dynamic. It feels good for a minute, because we can tell ourselves it’s not our fault. But because we have no power over anyone but ourselves, it leaves us feeling like a victim. 

2. You get the support you need. You might need to explore hiring me as your coach. This is what I do with clients. I get them out of being exhausted and into being empowered. My client who felt she couldn’t handle one more disappointment - by the end of the session she had her plan and was ready to work the plan. What was the plan? It was her personalized solution to replacing her fear with her empowered thoughts and feelings that KNOW she can handle whatever comes at her. That’s a victory! Or, you may need a housekeeper to take some of the load off you, a personal assistant to run errands, etc.

3. You double-down on self-care. The worse things are, the more you need to allow yourself to rest, eat foods that nourish you (instead of numb you,) move your body in ways that feel good, fill your mind with inspiring podcasts (Liberate Your People Pleaser is a good one! 😉) Youtube videos, books, whatever it takes so that your possibilities feel bigger than your problems. 

It will feel counterintuitive to dive into self-care when you feel exhausted, you think you need to do more, catch up, you rationalize, you’ll rest later. You will tell yourself you don’t possibly have time to start coaching with me, even if you know it’s a good idea. You think, now’s not the right time. But here’s the deal….

After spending 2.5 years of everything I wanted going down the drain, losing everything, unbelievable amounts of stress with no relief in sight, I PROMISE you, I know what I’m talking about. I learned the hard way how to do numbers 1, 2, and 3 above. 

I’d love to know where you’re at in the exhaustion to empowered equation and I’m curious, which of the three strategies above is the most difficult for you?

How Life Changes with Boundaries?

Have you ever wondered how your life might really change if you got good at setting boundaries?

Setting boundaries is an important part of establishing one’s identity and is a crucial aspect of mental health and well-being. Our personal boundaries aren’t as obvious as a fence or a giant “no trespassing” sign, they’re more like invisible bubbles.

Even though personal boundaries can be challenging to navigate, setting and communicating them is essential for our health, well-being, and even our safety. Setting boundaries for yourself and honoring the boundaries of others is a cornerstone in living authentically. 

In today’s episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser I’m going to dig deep and answer some  very important question regarding today’ topic:

What are Boundaries? 

Why should you set up your boundaries with Toxic people?

How to Set Better Boundaries with Toxic People?

How to build your own personal and emotional space?

And much more.. Listen to today’s episode HERE

If you like Today’s Episode, please don’t hesitate to post a 5-Stars review if you’re listening to the Podcast on Apple iTunes or Spotify and leave us a review telling us how our podcast helped you in a specific aspect of your life. It makes me so happy to see listeners' feedback because it motivates me to create content that is impactful for you and other listeners.

Empowerment and Freedom in 90 Days?

Do you ever think about what your life could be like in 90 days? 

Most of us don’t. We keep going, day after day. Months go by. Years go by. 

One day, we’re struck by the thought, “how did I get here?” Or, “how did so much time pass?”

I am going to invite you to be intentional about the next 90 days.  In 90 days we’ll be entering the holiday season with Thanksgiving right around the corner. 

What would you like to do now so that when November rolls around you’re thinking, “Wow! I didn’t know I could feel this much freedom and empowerment!” As one of my clients said to me recently, “I didn’t know how much every area of my life would improve once I started setting boundaries!” 

For her empowerment and freedom came through setting boundaries. For you, it might be something different… or you might also need the liberation setting boundaries provides. 

Whatever it is, we can begin the process now. That way in November you’ll be entering the holiday season as your “new self.” 

You deserve to experience the most liberated, empowered, confident, grounded, abundant and generous version of yourself. To see how much better everything in your life can be. 

This is my invitation to work with me over the next 90 days. I created a one-on-one coaching package called, It’s Your Turn. Because, damn it, it is!! 

All you need to do is complete this brief form, https://brendaflorida.typeform.com/to/jcuQt1LR 

I’ll reach out to you after that we’ll decide if I am the right coach for you and if now is the right time. 

Space is limited so choose to invest in yourself now. It’s Your Turn. 

Is Your Energy Being Depleted?

You’re probably very familiar with feeling so exhausted or overwhelmed that you decide to “do it yourself” instead of delegating a task or project at home or work. 

You’re upset about something and want to tell the person or set a boundary, but you’re just too tired and decide you’ll wait until it happens again. 

When our energy is depleted, it just doesn’t seem worth it. Or the timing doesn’t seem right. We tell ourselves it will be easier to just let it go. 

Of course, there’s never a “better time.” 

It isn’t actually easier to do everything ourselves.

It’s just what we’re used to. 

Why is that? 

I’ll tell you why. 

Energy leaks. 

What’s an energy leak? Picture a beach ball that holds the total amount of energy that you have on any given day. It’s nice and full and round. You’ve got all the energy you need for the day. 

Until… you start prioritizing someone else over what you need, or over-function for someone, or silence yourself to “keep the peace,” at home, work or with a friend. 

Any of our people pleasing habits that keep us focused on others at the expense of ourselves are putting little pin-holes in that beach ball. Little by little the air leaks out. 

We don’t always notice it. It’s a slow process… until there are enough holes that all the air leaks out and the ball is flat! Completely flat. 

I bet you’ve felt completely flat. 

When you feel completely flat or too much of the air has leaked out of your beach ball, you don’t have the energy to set a boundary, or let someone struggle figure something out on their own, or to ask for the help you need. When we’re deflated, it always seems easier to do it ourselves. Am I right? 

It’s time to put an end to that cycle. As a recent client told me, “I had no idea how much every area of my life would improve once I started setting boundaries!” 

Let’s get you started in my “It’s Your Turn” 90-Day Coaching Package.  In 90-days we can get, and keep, that beach ball full of air by closing up the specific leads that cause you to feel deflated and overwhelmed. 

All you need to do is fill out this quick form, it will take you about 5 minutes. You’ll tell me a little bit about what’s going on with you, then I’ll reach out and we’ll decide if now is the right time. The package has a single payment discount or payment plans. I’ll tell you all about that when we talk. 

Complete the form today, because once my calendar is full, I’ll stop offering the package. And really, you’ve earned it, “It’s Your Turn.” 💜💜💜

Do You Ever Feel Overwhelmed?

We’ve all felt overwhelmed at some point in the last year. 

I’ve worked with several clients who were experiencing a deep feeling of overwhelm. 

I imagine you can relate. 

Where does all this overwhelm come from?

More importantly, what the heck do we do about it? 

Every client I’ve worked with resolves their overwhelm when they get grounded and focused on their own power to affect their life. 

Overwhelm is a sign that we’ve left our “home.” That unlimited power that is at the very center of our being. It’s the very truth of who we are. 

It may be buried under a huge to-do list, or the wants and needs of others, the toxic co-worker or angst in some area of your life. But it’s there. I promise. 

Like every client I coach, you can solve the feeling of overwhelm by accessing that place of power that is living within you every moment of every day. 

Sure, you may still have a problem to solve, a boundary to set, a difficult conversation to have, but you’ll do it from a position of strength and confidence. You solve it as a person living from the truth of your authentic power. 

There’s no overwhelm when we’re in our power. 

If you want some help accessing that power, I can be your guide. DM me. All you need to do is tell me you’re ready to live from your authentic power! You deserve it! 

I’ve got some resistance! Do you?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed some things I’m having some resistance to. 

Who cares, you might ask?

I’ve learned that resistance is a fantastic indicator of where I am out of alignment with what’s best for me. 

Here’s some popular items of resistance, see if you can relate to at least one of them: 

• Having a conversation with a family member, your lover or someone at work. You know you should, but then you rationalize all the reasons “it won’t do any good anyway.” And, you keep resisting the conversation.

• Pleasure. Whether it’s because you’re busy and like me, you move pretty fast, so slowing down for pleasure isn’t easy for you, or you’re not used to even considering what taking time for pleasure would look like for you, you’re waiting for a  more convenient time… you keep resisting pleasure.

• A project that tugs at you. It could be clearing out a closet, starting a garden or leaving your soul-sucking job and starting a business you’re passionate about. Every time this project tugs at you, you push it away, put it on the back burner, in short… you resist it. 

• Looking at your credit card balances or finances. It feels overwhelming. It stresses you out. You tell yourself you aren’t good with money and you resist your money situation. 

There are many things in life we can be in resistance to. 

Here’s the silver lining. 

Resistance is a gift. 

Resistance shows us what we need to move towards or move away from. 

That’s right. Resistance doesn’t always mean we’re avoiding something we NEED to do, like pleasure. That’s how we usually think of resistance. It’s keeping us from something good for us. 

Pleasure is good for you. It’s good for your mental and physical health. In the case of pleasure, resistance is likely an unconscious punishment or a way you are withholding from yourself. 

When is resistance telling us to move away from something? Let’s take the project. Maybe it’s a project of obligation (throwing your parents a 50th anniversary party.) The truth is, you don’t want to do it. Bam! Resistance shows up in an attempt to get you to align with your truth. You don’t want to throw a party. 

Even resistance to something like finances could be a sign that you need to engage someone to help you with your finances. This can be a tricky one because there’s so much money shame in our culture!! Whether you have too much, not enough, spend too much or are miserly, judgement is flying every which way around money. You could be resisting out of a shamed view of your skills with money or resisting because it’s just not your thing and you need your spouse to handle the finances or hire someone to help you with it. 

The moral of the story… your resistance is your friend. 

Get him/her/they a cup of coffee/tea/Kombucha and find out what the gift is that resistance has for you. 

If you need a little help, I’m here! It can be hard to figure out if resistance is taking towards or away from something. A couple of sessions will give you the clarity you need to drop the resistance and move toward or away from something with confidence! 

Book a call and let’s see if now is the time for you to get the clarity and confidence you crave!

What’s the toughest boundary that you need to set?

Boundaries can be a hot topic no matter what the relationship. 

But let’s talk about the really hard ones. 

• Your spouse

• Your Mother

• Your Mother-in-law

• Your Father

• Your Father-in-law

• Your Boss

Those tend to be the scariest because they feel like there is a lot of risk. 

What if you set the boundary and you get fired? Divorced? You offend your parents or in-laws? 

What if you offend your mother with your boundary and she is your primary babysitter for your kids? 

The cost seems too high to risk setting the boundary. 

It seems easy to tolerate their behavior. 

Easier to disregard your own needs, than risk the repercussions of asking for what you need. 

The problem is, there is a personal price for all that accommodating, keeping our mouths shut, or tolerating having a boundary ignored. 

What’s the answer? 

It’s different for everyone, and frankly, this is where one-on-one coaching pays for itself pretty instantly! The way a professional athlete needs a coach to create a strategy to improve, you need a coach who can help you create a strategy for the boundary setting conversation and potential repercussions. 

It’s the power of a third party that isn’t involved in the situation and only wants what’s best for you. It’s like an advocate - on steroids! 

I’m going to give you my top two tricks for this, but I’m also warning you! Your life and your situation is unique. You're unique. The person you want to set this boundary with is unique. There’s no “formula” to follow. That’s why working with a coach is so valuable, so hit reply and ask for my help! That’s what I do. That’s what I live for! 

My two most powerful steps to take before you say anything to the person are: 

1. Start with yourself. Write down the answer to these questions. Dive deep and unpack the answers because they are important. Why is setting this boundary so intimidating? What are you afraid is going to happen? When have you felt this way before? How old were you the first time you felt this way? How does it benefit you NOT to set the boundary? (That’s not a typo. We don’t set boundaries because there’s a benefit. We keep the peace, Mom will keep babysitting, we don’t want to make someone mad, etc.)

1. If everything in step one was cleared up and taken care of and you had no concerns about setting the boundary, what exactly would you ask for. Before you start writing, I want you to make it super simple. No rationalizations or justifications. I want you to be able to say it to a five year old, and they would understand. For example: “I need more time to myself. I’m going to start taking half the day on Saturday to myself.” 

Were you surprised by anything that came up for you when you journaled the answers to those questions? And for those wondering, yes, you need to write them out. Not answer the question in your head. There is magic to writing/typing out the actual answer to these questions. 

Comment down below and tell me about it! You’ll make my day!

Can Sex be a Gateway to Awakening?

Do you think sex can be a gateway to your own personal, professional and spiritual awakening? 

My podcast guest, Dominey Drew and I, as we discuss how sex and pleasure play a role in our awakening at all levels. 

Dominey and I will share very personal stories - you might want to grab your headphones - and open up about our own awakenings. 

This episode of Liberate Your People Pleaser may stretch your current paradigm about awakening… so I encourage you to open your heart and mind and join us for this amazing conversation! 

Listen to the episode HERE. 

In love, light and awakening, 

Brenda

PS This is in the show notes, but to make it easy…. To connect with Dominey find her on IG: @DomineyDrew - or email her at domineydrew@gmail.com  You can book a call with her, tell her you found her on the Liberate Your People Pleaser Podcast:

https://calendly.com/domineydrewcoaching/exclusive-access-consult